Dallas Cowboy Hater lyrics

KTCF © 1997

Have the fairest weather fans that you've ever seen
Have a history of doing things considered obscene
Have a hole in their roof so God can watch his favorite team.*

All that matters to the 'boys are high finances
Alcohol, adultery, illegal substances
Lucky for the 'boys that judges give second chances.

Erik Williams thinks he's a celebrity
But he's a drunk driver, cheapshot who alledgedly
Can't find no women to be with him voluntarily.*

Dallas Cowboy Hater
I'm a Dallas Cowboy Hater!

When it comes to arrogance the 'boys got more than their share
Buncha foul-mouthed, spoiled rotten millionaires
They're playin' real dirty and the refs don't even care

Now Big "D" has become "Big Disgrace" it seems
The 'ol image isn't quite as sparkling
And they still have the guts to call themselves "America's Team"

Deion is a speed demon that's a fact
But speed don't make up for all the guts he lacks
Deion's got a neon yellow streak running up his back*

Dallas Cowboy Hater
I'm a Dallas Cowboy Hater!
Dallas Cowboy Hater

Being Mr. Cool was Michael Irvin's goal
But drugs and topless dancers oh they took their toal
Now he spends his time cleaning highways and toilet bowls*

Look out! Switzer's got a gun!*

Dallas Cowboy Hater
I'm a Dallas Cowboy Hater!

Dallas Cowboy Hater
Forty million dollars over the salary cap?
Dallas Cowboy Hater
How can you lose when you got talent like that?
Erik Williams hater
Hey man, can't you get a date?*
Deion Sanders hater
Hey man you tackle like a girl!!*
Michael Irvin hater
Hey "Tidy Bowl Man" you missed a spot!*
Dallas Cowboy Hater!

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"Dallas Cowboy Hater" today!!

* Explanation of some lyrics:

The "cleaning highways and toilet bowls", and "hey Tidy Bowl Man you missed a spot" lyric concerning Michael Irvin is refering to two of his duties in fulfilling his 800 hours of community service stemming from his cocaine abuse trial. What an idiot... and we sincerely hope those toilet bowls included some in airports where people who drank the water in Mexico were landing...
The "Drunk driving", "can't find no women to be with him voluntarily", and "can't you find a date" lyrics concerning Erik Williams are refering to his drunk driving accident, his assault of a teenage girl several years ago (which was settled out of court) and last year's alledged rape (charges were dropped) of a Dallas woman. I only wish I had left room for his future undertakings...
The "Deion's got a neon yellow streak running up his back" lyric refers to Deion Sanders' nickname "Neon" and his uncanny ability to dive out of the way when he has to make a tackle and falling down right before he gets tackled. Also, as we all know, he couldn't tackle my grandmother. And she's deceased...
The "got a hole in their roof so God can watch his favorite team" lyric refers to the Cowboy's fans reason for having a hole in their stadium roof. We, on the other hand, think it looks like a very large toilet bowl where there are a bunch of asses...
The "lookout, Switzers got a gun" lyric refers to his famous incident in a Dallas airport where he was caught with a loaded gun in his onboard baggage - probably was trying to hijack the plane to be taken to the destination the plane was headed to begin with...

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