(continued)

"Hey! Get your hands off -!"

Still on the plane, AJ in his arms, Kevin had waited for the others to get off before he maneuvered them both out.

The plane was just as small and smelly as it had been on their trip over. But he hadn’t charged them a fortune, and they’d gotten there and back safely. Ed Green had even stayed to help the locals as much as he could. Seems he had a problem with the sanctions, too. He and Lenny had helped in the hospitals and taken it on themselves to make sure the guys ate and slept when they could. Or tried to.

"Let me go! I don’t want to hurt you! Get your hands off me!"

Nick’s shouts were getting louder and panicky. Knowing he hated to be manhandled, Kevin reluctantly put AJ down – he was still sleeping, they’d poured a triple dose of something down him, given to them by a grateful doctor.

He got out of the plane as fast as he could and stopped cold at the top of the stairs.

Nick was just pulling away from what looked like a Marine, in full riot gear. There was a squadron of them circled around the plane, with limos and men in suits and what looked like a prison bus off to one side.

Brian was pulling Nick safely to his side. With a flick of his fingers and soft words, a glowing shield sprung up between them and the soldiers.

"Don’t worry, God is on our side," Kevin heard him tell Nick.

He got down there as fast as he could, with a glance at Lenny, who went back into the plane to sit with AJ.

Spotting Heidi standing with the suits and looking unhappy, he waved to her.

"Hey, girl -" he made his voice light and friendly, all too aware of the cameras and news crews behind the soldiers and limousines. "What’s going on?"

"They want to arrest you, Train. For violating the sanctions against Cuba."

"We didn’t take them any food or merchandise. We didn’t sell them anything or buy anything from them. How did we violate it?" It was the most basic translation of the sanctions he could think of. Maybe they would go for it.

"You committed *treason*, Kevin Richardson!" Temple thundered, playing for the news. It would make a great soundbyte. "You have betrayed your country!"

Trying to look less dangerous than he really was, especially hard without his coat, Kevin turned to look at the cameras too.

"I don’t see how saving innocent people and their city constitutes treason. We went to save lives, and we did. There’s nothing in the sanctions about that, is there?" He gave one of the slow, sweet smiles he knew made people notice him even more than his size and strength. They didn’t come often, those smiles, and this was the first time he’d deliberately manufactured one for a camera. It made his face hurt.

Ed came out of the plane, holding a cell phone.

"Train, I’ve got your attorney on the line. He said to stay where you are, he’s coming over. With his own news crew."

Kevin looked at him, unbelieving.

"We have an attorney?" Howie whispered as he took the phone.

"This is Jack McCoy, Mr. Richardson. Ed tell s me you’re having a little problem with the law?"

"Um..." Kevin truly did not know what to say. Dumbly, he handed the phone to Brian. He was smarter anyhow.

"An old friend," Ed grinned at him. Then he waved at one of the Marines. "Jon Tyler! I didn’t know you were stationed here!"

Holding his rifle, the man moved his hand just a little, enough to be called a wave if you were really generous.

Thinking they were safe for the moment, Kevin went back into the plane and got AJ. He carried him out, wrapped in clean blankets given to them by the medics. He was still pretty spiked out, but they had finally started to recede in the past couple of hours. Kevin could see his face again, with its crust of dried blood, sweat and tears. His hands were splayed flat and limp, the spikes making them look like little porcupines.

Supporting him on his hip, one hand keeping AJ’s head on his shoulder while the other kept his legs from dangling, Kevin listened to the end of the conversation.

Brian hung up the phone and walked toward Temple. The Marines tried to keep him back, but the shield gently pushed them aside. When Brian got there, he was still surrounded by that rich glowing light, and they were too.

"I don’t know what you think you have to gain by this. America knows that God told us we had to help those people. Your rules and regulations weren’t part of the equation. Now, I can have our attorney file charges for false arrest, false imprisonment and anything else he can think of, or you can let us go home and rest. We can talk about this in a few days, when we’ve *all* sufficiently recovered.

Looking at the news people and Heidi and AJ, held against Kevin so carefully, it seemed Temple wasn’t willing to force a showdown now.

He nodded at one of the Marines, and the squad backed off with a wave of his hand. They moved to cluster around the bus. It had been theirs, then. Kevin felt some small relief.

Heidi ran up to them as soon as Brian dropped the shield.

"I told them you took the credit card and keys. Figure I can help you more if I still have a job..."

"That’s fine," Kevin nodded at Brian, who headed for their truck, which was where they had left it. "Can you drive? I want to get him back and clean him up before they get a good look."

She looked own at AJ’s exposed hand and her eyes widened. Gingerly, she lifted a loose corner of a blanket and covered it.

"I’ll walk with you. Is he going to be okay?"

"I don’t know. He’s terrified to let Jeffers see him like this. So I’m gonna take him to my room and take care of him alone."

The look she gave him was measuring. Kevin felt this face go hot and he spoke more harshly than he intended.

"I’m not an animal, you know. I *can* restrain myself. I’ve done it more than you’ll ever know. Every day for the last five years."

"Not every day."

"Every day but three. Count ‘em - you - you - " he bit back words he didn’t really want to say. "Just drive the damned car, okay?"

The drive was tense. Though he was used to seeing the patterns, Kevin could see the way they were drawing closer together. Nick and Brian. Himself and AJ. Howie hovering between them.

Maybe it was a good thing. Maybe it meant they were going to survive this as a team. Anything had to be better than they’d felt four days ago.

Now they were really together again. They’d taken initiative and done what they thought needed to be done. Bonded, on their own, in a crisis.

It would make them stronger. It would help with whatever had been driving them apart.

Driving them crazy, he meant. They had never drifted very far apart.

Heidi was on the phone for most of the drive. Sitting in the back, in AJ’s reinforced seat, Kevin couldn’t hear what she said, but she consulted with Howie, in the passenger seat, several times. Lenny sat beside Kevin, despite the uncomfortable nature of the seat, and Ed came along, Kevin wasn’t sure why. To avoid being picked up and questioned, he guessed. Or arrested.

"We have plenty of room," he told him as they got out last at the compound. "You can stay until you’re ready to leave. In AJ’s room would be good. He’s going to be in mine for a few days anyhow."

"I can crash with Lenny -" the man started. Kevin was watching the people in the building, wondering when they would come out and start staring.

"I’m stayin’ here," Lenny said, hands on his hips. "You take a vacation and stay here too."

Ed seemed more curious than reluctant, and Kevin decided they were both grown men who could decide this for themselves. There was a quick exchange with Howie, who promised to keep an eye on Nick and Brian, make sure they ate. And to leave he and AJ alone until Kevin called for him.

It was clear they were all worried, but he knew AJ didn’t want anyone else to see him in this condition. It frightened them and embarrassed him.

Making his excuses, he escaped upstairs to his rooms. Once inside, he laid AJ on the bed and debated locking the door. That would have been a betrayal of their trust he couldn’t stomach, though. If they wanted to come in that badly, he’d let them. Let them do what they needed to do. That was one of the reasons he was the leader.

Because of his size, his rooms were a little different than the others’. Not bigger in square footage, but he had a bigger bathroom and bedroom, and correspondingly smaller rec area. Like, only large enough for a couch, an end table and the entertainment center. His bathroom had been refitted with an extra-large whirlpool tub and a two-headed shower, at his insistence. It was too hard to bathe when you couldn’t get water everywhere. And everyone needed a soak now and then, even invulnerable super heros. Even if they didn’t get muscle aches, exactly. Just phantom pains deep inside.

In the beginning, they’d been wanted. Now he wasn’t sure. He knew there was no way in hell he’d get any of this if they were just starting today. For the moment he was just thankful. The tub was reinforced as well, so the spikes wouldn’t hurt it beyond some possible scratches. And he could get in with AJ and clean him without risking dropping him or something.

He left him on the bed while he started the water and got out supplies. No bubbles – that was one way to prove he really was gay, he allowed himself a small smile, laughing at himself silently – he did take bubble baths when he was alone. He even read in the tub sometimes. The water supported his weight and he liked feeling lighter. He felt so heavy all the time. There were vague sense-memories of before he had changed as a teenager, when he had been basically normal, and kind of skinny, really. Floating in the tub brought those back.

With the water running hot and the tub filling slowly – the others were probably all bathing as well – he went back to the bedroom and stood to think for a minute.

This might be more awkward than he’d thought. He could always call one of the others to supervise, but AJ would just hate that. He might wake up, too.

They trusted him. Well, Heidi might not. But he wasn’t going to take advantage of a kid he’d known since he was 14, for God’s sake.

Just to be safe, he went back into the bathroom to undress, and put on a pair of tight cotton shorts. Like most things not custom made, they were too small, but he could live with that. They were black and they covered him.

He was going to have a hell of a time getting a new coat.

The tub was half full when he went out again. He noticed that his hands were shaking as he started to unfold the blankets, and told himself it was because he was worried about how bad AJ was hurt.

He had to admit to himself, privately, that he wanted to see him. Even with the spikes spoiling it, AJ was a handsome young man. Sleek and lean and virile. Kevin seldom had the chance to look at a naked man under any circumstances, especially one as attractive as AJ.

Okay, he was attractive. He’d admitted it. But that was it. Now Kevin had a job to do. Without ogling him any more than he could absolutely help.

His hands still shook as he undressed him. The uniform was in tatters, barely enough to maintain modesty. Not that AJ was generally modest. He had a habit of running around with as little on as possible. In case he spiked, he didn’t want to ruin any more clothes than he had to. So it didn’t surprise Kevin to find he wore nothing beneath the clinging leather on his legs. The forest of needle-sharp spikes around his manhood, thrusting through dark, close-curled hair, did.

Kevin hesitated, but he needed to know. If AJ really did need medical attention. If he’d suffered more injury than just the skin eruptions, which were bad enough in themselves. Like his eyes, his privates were something AJ would no doubt want to keep safe.

And possibly private? Kevin rationalized. AJ couldn’t rest until he was cleaned up and Kevin knew he was safe and, well, whole. Better to have one person he trusted checking him out than several, or, worse, people he didn’t.

Having made the decision, Kevin gently moved one leg out a but and laid his palm on the thigh. When AJ didn’t move, he slid it down to the inner thigh, and kept it there for a minute. The skin felt too cold. He might even be in shock. If there was some serious injury hidden here...

He used both hands, carefully, the spikes prickled but couldn’t hurt him. He shielded AJ’s testicles with one hand and lifted with the other, exposing them to the light without pulling.

There was a crusting of blood, but no obvious injury. Again shielding with one hand and lifting with the other, he touched the soft penis and marveled a little at the size, even at rest. AJ was cut, something he hadn’t noticed before, but supposed he shouldn’t be surprised at. Most men their generation were.

There was no damage other than shallow scratches. He said a brief, silent prayer of thanks. Small favors and all that.

Poor Bone had never been this bad. In Kevin’s mind, he could still see the slim, cocky [sexy] teenager he’d first met. When he’d gone to shake his hand, AJ had spiked his arm, just for show. He’d had control then, and it was all about style.

Now it seemed to be about survival.

Picking the younger man up and carrying him to the bathroom, Kevin thought that it should be more than that. Especially when you were 19 and special.

He got them into the tub and left the faucet running, and the drain open. Working quickly, he washed AJ head to toe, then just sat with him. Whether it was the water or the peace or the company, the spikes were finally receding. AJ began to wake up.

This wasn’t a man he was attracted to. Wasn’t ever going to be someone he could be involved with. Have a relationship with.

AJ wasn’t someone he could *touch*.

Except right this moment. With AJ starting to wake, in his arms. His back to Kevin’s chest, the hot water supporting both of them. Easing the aches and pains, cleaning the hundreds of jagged tears in AJ’s skin.

Tracing a finger down his arm, shuddering inside when he saw how extensive the tearing was, Kevin wondered why he wasn’t simply covered in scar tissue. For some reason, AJ’s skin was as smooth as

it had been five years ago. The only time Kevin had allowed himself to notice it.

AJ wriggled a little bit and put his head back on Kevin’s shoulder, with his eyes closed. He sighed and didn’t whimper. Kevin was glad to see he didn’t seem to be in pain anymore.

He kept petting the wounded skin. It seemed to be healing, but at a normal rate. He wondered where the wounds from the day before and the day before had gone.

"Brian," AJ whispered softly. Without thought, Kevin understood. Brian had healed him. Perhaps every time. Of course, it had never, ever been this bad before. Before, AJ healed his own cuts in a timely fashion. They only went on one or two missions a week at most. There had been plenty of time. The spike shad come only where he wanted and needed them, not all over like this.

"Kevin, what’s happening to me?" Sober, awake and no longer in pain, AJ sounded very young and very frightened.

"I don’t know," He leaned forward to wrap his arms around him and hug him. Thankful that his body didn’t betray him. Just more proof that he didn’t think of AJ that way. Which was a good thing, because he’d *seen* AJ making it with girls. Not in the least bit shy, he and the flavor-of-the-month had been known to get down and dirty in the same room as the others if they were drunk and horny enough. Kevin had even stayed to watch once. Curiosity, he told himself. It had been eye-opening, to say the least.

Cocky and resourceful could be used to describe AJ, as could pushy and stubborn. After watching him screw a girl on the rec room floor right in front of him – another reason he hadn’t left, he would have had to step right over them! – Kevin could add aggressive and hot to the list. Not that he ever would. After that he’d made it a point to be out of there when AJ started stripping. Once had been enough.

"You washed me?" AJ was being very still. Kevin was so glad there was nothing inappropriate for him to feel.

"Yeah. You were out of it. I thought waking up clean would make you feel better."

"It does. Thanks." He began to pull away and Kevin let him go, watching as he turned and settled at the other end of the tub. His knees were outside Kevin’s as Kevin pulled them in rather defensively. "But it’s kind of weird, dude."

"I’m wearing shorts," he said. He’d been a little afraid of this. That AJ would think he was trying to take advantage. " I wanted you to be able to sleep."

"Okay. ‘Cuz you know, I’m not- into guys."

"I know that," Kevin made a face at him. "And I am. But not little short skinny ones!" He splashed, and AJ laughed, for the first time in ages. Kevin couldn’t remember the last time. AJ splashed back and suddenly there was a furious battle going. They got water *everywhere*. The towels were drenched, the floor puddled, the walls dripping by the time they stopped. AJ was panting for breath and grinning like an idiot.

"If the world knew you were such a pansy-ass mushball, Train, they would never trust you to save them again!" He hoisted himself out of the tub. Water splashed on the floor as he landed. "I am *not* cleaning this up."

"I would say let the cleaning lady get it, but I suspect it’s going to be a while before we see her again," Kevin followed him, getting clean towels out of the linen cabinet. Did he need to ration those? Doing their own chores wouldn’t be such a hardship, but this place could get confining.

Naked, scrubbing at his arms with the towel, for some reason, AJ walked into Kevin’s bedroom, then stopped. He whirled around, almost lost his balance. Kevin grabbed an arm and righted him.

"I almost killed that girl!" he shouted, deafening Kevin temporarily. "Oh, shit, what was I thinking?!"

He grabbed his head and started pulling on his ears. Spikes burst through the skin on the backs of his hands, ran up his arms and across his shoulders. Kevin could see them erupting from his back as he bent over, squirming in agony.

"Shit! Shit, AJ, God, dam, calm down, you’re hurting yourself, you’re making it worse.....!" He couldn’t think of anything else to do, so he grabbed his teammate and pulled him in tight to his chest, trying to hold the spikes back with his hands. It was stupid and futile and useless, but he didn’t know what else to so.

"Please," he pleaded desperately, hearing it in his own voice. "Please, AJ, stop, stop, it’s okay, you didn’t hurt her, I didn’t let you, you were only trying to help, oh God, *please* don’t do this..."

AJ struggled but then leaned against him. He was shivering. Kevin took his own towel and began to run briskly at his arms and back, the soft terry material shredding on the spikes.

"This isn’t working. Let’s get you under the covers and warm. You can sleep a bit damp."

"I can’t sleep at all, Train." Pulling free, AJ looked around the room. "I’ll tear everything up. Your blankets and your bed..."

"I’ll think of something... there’s some cereal and stuff in the rec room. You haven’t eaten in days. Go get some while I work this out."

The spikes had stopped. They were only on the arms, pecs, shoulders and back. His face and privates were spared.

Small favors, Kevin told himself. Small indeed.

AJ stared at him for a minute, then nodded and went into the smaller room. Kevin went to the large closet and started digging through it. When his hand closed on the large piece of heavy metal net he’d used in training years ago, he knew what he was thinking. Some rope and he’d be in business. Tearing holes in the wall was loud, but at least he didn’t need a hammer...

"I’ve got it sorted," he told AJ an hour later. "Found a way for you to sleep comfortably without destroying my bed or anyone else’s."

"Standing up or hung by my ankles?" There was a cereal box by his feet. He was watching Gargoyles on Disney Channel. They still had cable.

"Lying down, if it isn’t too painful." Kevin gestured toward the bedroom. "Come try it out. If you don’t like it, it’s cool, my feelings won’t be hurt..."

"You made an awful lot of noise, man - what the hell?!"

Kevin hovered behind him. He wanted this to work. Wanted to offer some kind of comfort.

"What did you *do*?"

"Found a couple of wall studs, strung that net up to make a hammock, tore open a few pillows and made you a – nest."

"A nest."

AJ was walking around it like it was going to bite him.

"Yeah. You don’t have to worry about tearing up the bedding because it’s just pillow fluff. I can throw a blanket over you and you’ll be warm and everything will be soft. The fluff will get between the spikes and there won’t be so much pressure on them – " Kevin shut up, afraid that it was actually quite stupid. "You don’t have to do it. But I wish you’d at least try."

"You’re smarter than people give you credit for," AJ stuck his hand in the large pile of fluff. There was only one pillow left in Kevin’s rooms, the one he’d kept on the bed for himself. He’d thought about calling the others for donations, but that seemed like enough. He’d pulled all the extra pillows out of the linen closet and sacrificed a total of seven for the cause. "This looks wonderful."

"Did you eat?" The hammock was hung pretty high – he hadn’t wanted AJ dragging the floor. It was at his shoulders. He put his hands on the edge and pulled while Kevin watched.

"About half the box. And I drank all your orange juice."

"Good. You needed it. Now you need to sleep."

"I can’t get in it." AJ grinned at him. There seemed to be surprise and pleasure in the expression.

"I’ll lift you."

"Okay." AJ stood and waited. Kevin hesitated.

"You want to put some clothes on?"

"No. Do you mind?"

"Not really. I promise not to ravish you in your sleep."

"Eww, thanks."

AJ held his arms up. With a snicker, Kevin lifted him like a baby and lay him in the hammock, on top of the fluff. He watched while AJ squirmed around, half burying himself in the softness.

"How is it?"

"Tickles. But it’s good. It’s amazing you thought of this. Thank you."

He did seem to be relaxing into it. Kevin picked up the extra quilt and tossed it over him. AJ grabbed the top edge and tucked it under his chin.

Kevin ran his hand over AJ’s head, feeling the tiny tips of spikes that hadn’t come out far, poking through his hair. "You going to be able to sleep?"

"In a while. I - I need a drink, Kevin. Just to help me sleep."

"Aw, shit, AJ..." still petting his head, Kevin bit back argument. "I’ll see if I have anything."

"There’s some champagne in your fridge. You were probably saving it for something special..."

"The word I’m looking for here is enabler, right? It goes with addict, and co-dependent..." grumbling to himself, Kevin went to the rec room, and pulled the bottle of champagne out of the small fridge tucked to one side of the entertainment center.

Kristen had left it here, to remind him that she would be back. Her acting career was going better than either of them had hoped, but shooting a weekly TV show in Los Angeles meant she was away far more than the committee liked. But they didn’t own her - the way they owned him - and so she went. He understood, and wanted the best for her. She usually only made it home every couple of months. It had been a few weeks since the last visit. The hours were long, but the reviews made it worthwhile.

He should call her and tell her what was going on, but he was pretty sure the phones were tapped. It wasn’t like she was going to believe anything on TV anyhow. She knew him better than that.

He would talk to her as soon as he could.

He could replace the champagne before she got here. Trying not to think about what he was doing, he popped the cork and drank the first fizzy swallows himself. Going back into the bedroom, he handed it to AJ without a word. He took it with both hands and drank deeply.

"God that feels good," he said. Kevin could see he was stretching. "And this hammock - this is genius, man."

"I don’t want to hear about it. You can’t keep going this way, AJ," he said sternly, taking a pair of pajama bottoms into the bathroom to change and talking through the open door.

"There’s no other way." Turned on his side, one arm free of the quilt, AJ was looking at him when he came out. He turned off the light, leaving the bathroom light on and the door half-open. Kevin sat on the bed, sheets pulled back, and called Brain’s room. "How else am I supposed to live with this, Kev? Exactly what else am I supposed to do?"

Feeling defeated, Kevin let the phone ring, knowing it was late and he was probably waking his cousin up from a well-earned rest.

"We’ll think of something," he repeated, and closed his eyes. So he didn’t have to watch AJ drink the rest of the bottle. The teen wasn’t even old enough to drink, and here Kevin was supplying him.

It could always be worse....

Brian answered, groggy, and there was a short conversation. Just an update. Nick was sleeping in Brain’s room, they’d dragged a sofa into the bedroom so he didn’t have to be alone. Actually, it had been dragged into the bedroom years ago, just for that purpose. Kevin told him a little about the hammock and was gratified by Brian’s praise, and further relieved that things didn’t seem awkward between them. But, then. Brian was half-asleep and they were on the phone. Who knew how it would go in person tomorrow.

"Goodnight, cuz," he said at the end. "I love you."

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d said that. Brian seemed taken aback by it, but responded to him with more warmth in his voice than Kevin could remember hearing in years.

"I love you too, Kevin. Don’t let anything convince you otherwise. Goodnight."

With the phone hung up, Kevin lay back on his one pillow. He sat back up again, fluffed it and folded it in half, then lay back. And picked up the TV remote. There was a small one on the dresser at the foot of the bed. AJ’s hammock was close enough that he could reach out and touch him if he wanted.

He looked over. AJ was watching him, the empty bottle still in one hand.

"Discovery channel?" Kevin asked quietly. There was always something worth watching on it. Usually with a narrator that spoke low and quiet...

"Yeah, please." It was clear there was going to be one problem with the hammock. AJ couldn’t get out of it without hurting himself.

But he seemed more comfortable than Kevin had seen him in weeks.

Together, they watched a show on the refit of the Hubble spacecraft, with beautiful pictures of outer space, nebulas and comets.

He fell asleep before they got to the part of star nurseries.

***

His worst fears weren’t immediately realized, and he knew he should be grateful. He reminded himself of that fact every day for the next three weeks. The committee got their publicist to set up a series of interviews. They were given scripts and forced to memorize them, and made one appearance after the other. The government was taking all the credit for their journey to Cuba, claiming it had been secretly voted on and decide d that human rights issues superseded the sanctions...

Heidi explained to them that it was more than their jobs at risk. It was hers, their safety, possibly even the safety of their families. They went along with it, except Brian. Having vowed to never lie, there wasn’t much he could say. So he remained silent, despite what they told him.

Their standard of living dropped drastically. Everyone was paranoid, knowing there would be more shit to come. They refused to go anywhere alone, Brian or Kevin always with the others when they were split up.

Food was always late arriving. Their orders were wrong. It was cold. Hot water came and went. Howie commented that it was like living in a rent-controlled apartment where the landlord wanted you out.

Training sessions became marathons. Kevin wondered aloud if they thought they could exhaust them into compliance.

Things on the legal front weren’t looking good either.

The committee demanded that Cuba *pay* for the assistance, Cuba countered that it had been freely given – and they couldn’t afford to pay anyhow. That sent Brian into a raging fit. Howie had spent that night on the floor of his room, with Nick on the sofa.

Lenny was fired. He left with Ed, telling Kevin that it was okay, he knew he’d been on the side of good. Kevin swore to get him back.

The spikes came and went. Never as bad as they had been that day in Cuba, but still uncontrolled and terribly painful to look at.

When the alcohol supply was drained, Kevin begged Heidi to bring some in. When she saw AJ on the floor, rolling around and grabbing the spikes with both hands in a frenzy of pain, she did. Reluctantly, but no one could see that and not do whatever they could.

He slept in the hammock. Sometimes he didn’t move for days.

***

"How is he today?" Brian came into Kevin’s room while he was changing. In the bathroom but with the door open so he could hear AJ if he needed anything.

"About the same, I guess. He’s in retracting mode now," He walked over to the hammock and rubbed a hand on AJ’s bare arm. Brian was here to watch him and heal the newest batch of skin tears.

"How much has he had to drink?" There was stern disapproval on Brian’s concerned face.

"Four. I stopped him before he could finish the six-pack." Kevin answered defensively. He knew Brian hated this, hated that AJ was in here with him all the time, hated what was happening to him, hated what was happening to all of them. And he blamed himself, Kevin could see it in his eyes. He was the one that had insisted they go. How that made him responsible for what was happening to AJ, Kevin didn’t know – but Brian had a martyr’s capacity for guilt.

"Saving ‘em for later," AJ mumbled, his hand closing on Kevin’s. "Don’ t go."

He’d been ordered to report to the lab today, for annual testing. But it had only been eight months since the last annual testing.... after stalling and making excuses it had come down to a written order signed by the President. Not something he could easily ignore. There was talk that their circumstances were the same as the military’s, they had the same responsibilities and could be made to pay the same penalties.

They all knew how bad this could get.

"I have to," Kevin squeezed his hand gently.

"They could hurt you." AJ was struggling to sit up. It was good to see him moving, but Kevin didn’t want him upset over this.

He didn’t see any safe way to get out of this. Already he’d thought that maybe he should leave – before they could get him locked away someplace. But he couldn’t leave the others, and they weren’t quite as pessimistic about the situation as he was.

"It will be okay. If I’m not back in three hours, Howie and Nick will come after me. Right, Brian?" They’d already agreed.

"That could be too late." AJ was surprisingly coherent for a drunk today. He tried to get his legs over the edge of the hammock. Brian caught him. "I want to get up, I need a bath."

They helped him up, Brian doing most of it, since the spikes were gone again.

"You’ll eat something while I’m gone?" Kevin stalled.

"Yes, I promise." AJ waved Brian off and made his way to the bathroom by himself. His overall health was still good, he just never wanted to move.

Kevin turned to the door, but Brian’s voice stopped him.

"You need to stay away from him, Kevin."

"Jeffers?"

"Yes, but AJ, too. He’s too vulnerable right now. Liable to confuse things in his head."

Feeling a rush of red anger, Kevin rode it out with slow breathing until he could trust himself to talk.

"I knew you would make this accusation, cousin. I knew you would think that way. You don’t trust me to keep my hands off him? You think I’d, what, seduce him while he’s drunk some night?"

"I think you’re terribly lonely," Brian shrugged. "And the way he worships you, I think he’d let you."

"He doesn’t *worship* me, Brian! We’re friends. The way I used to think you and I were."

The walls were so well insulated, the rooms so quiet already... now it felt like the quiet grew. Kevin wished desperately for some sound; traffic or television...

"You changed, Kevin. In ways I can’t accept."

"I didn’t change, Brain..." He heard himself whispering and wanted to beg for understanding. For his closest friend since childhood to love him again. "You just never saw."

"Can I get a hand in here?" AJ shouted, breaking the moment. Brian looked at Kevin sadly, then turned away. Kevin left, wondering if AJ had heard them – most likely – and done it on purpose.

He took his time going down to the lab, taking the stairs one at a time. If these were going to be his last minutes of freedom, he wasn’t going to spend them rushing.

"Train?" Dr. Jeffers was waiting when Kevin got to the lab. He was feeling anxious and edgy, not a good combination.

"Who’s it look like?" he snapped, then regretted it when the man made a notation on the chart.

"We just want to do a baseline, to measure against in case anything changes..." With one hand on Kevin’s back he ushered him into the examining room, and shut the door. Kevin wondered just how well it would stand up if he tried to leave, and was heartened by knowing he could break it down.

Just what, exactly, where they expecting to change?

***

"You know what you did was wrong, Mr. Richardson," There were seven people on the committee. The same people that had been on it when it formed. A year before they were brought together as a team.

Speaking now was the Honorable Senator from New York, a lady Democrat. She was outnumbered and outgunned but held her own. Now Kevin met her eyes knowing she was the only person there he could really say was on his side. Besides Heidi and Jack McCoy, the lawyer Lenny had called.

"My client has the right to not incriminate himself," Jack spoke up, a hand on Kevin’s shoulder to stop him.

"This isn’t a trial, Mr. McCoy. Just a simple little Q&A, trying to figure out where we’re gonna go from here. I’m afraid the people upstairs are demanding answers. They want to blame this mess on somebody –" Temple looked around the room, and Kevin didn’t need to hear him finish the statement. "That somebody may well be you, Richardson, if you don’t start cooperating."

"That’s not true!" Fed up, Kevin stood. "Polls show that the majority of the population *approve* of what we did! They want us out there, helping them, not stuck in a lab or a recording studio making public announcements about drinking!"

"Please control yourself, sir." Another member spoke up. He was one of the ones that seldom spoke, so Kevin listened. That, and Jack had a hand on one arm, Heidi had him by the other.

"Things have progressed beyond what we planned for. There are extenuating circumstances to every situation..." He paused, then smiled. It wasn’t a nice smile, but Kevin didn’t know what it meant.

"You were very young when we found you, especially the others," someone else said, and Kevin thought he was beginning to see a pattern. They’d discussed this, planned it beforehand. They didn’t care what he had to say. This was all for show. "We may have committed an error in judgement, putting you in charge of four such impressionable youth."

More insinuation. Did everyone think he was a pedophile?

"Additionally, we weren’t given accurate information on some issues." Temple added smugly.

"Why don’t you just say it?" Kevin ground out, pulling free of Heidi and Jack. "You’ve just been waiting for this chance ever since I came out! *This* government can’t stomach a gay hero!"

"You’re being so emotional. Sit down and calm yourself."

"No. I’m done. If you want to charge me with something, you go ahead. But if you think you can actually *arrest* me, you better look at my specs again."

"Was that a threat, young man?!" Temple shouted after him as he stormed out, his footsteps making the room shake. "I’d be careful about threatening the US government!"

"Not the government," Kevin mumbled to himself as he searched for the way out of the maze. They’d had the meeting in the complex, but for some reason he was having trouble seeing.

"Not the government..." He took a left turn and found himself in yet another corridor that dead-ended in a locked door. He could break it down, but what would be the point? They would hear it and come after him... maybe even find him.

Just a bunch of stuffed shirts with his life in their hands. This wasn’t what he’d signed on for. He was supposed to be a *hero*. Supposed to save people.

With heavy heart, he walked to the end of the hall and sat in the corner by the door. His eyes itched and burned; when he rubbed them he realized he was crying. It had been a while.

That was all they needed - to find the resident fruit bawling his eyes out like a girl, on the floor yet. He tried to make himself get up, tried to shame himself into movement, but all he wanted to do was curl forward and hide his face in his arms and weep.

His shoulders shook and his nose ran, he snuffled the snot back, tasting it wet and thick at the back of his throat. Brian hated him, AJ wasn’t getting any better, Kristen was so far away...he was going to get kicked off the team or, worse, turned into a vivisection experiment....

It had been years since he cried like this. Not since the night he’d told his mother and brothers that he was gay. Long before he’d told the team. His mother had cried, his brothers had argued with him, and it had hurt so much because they all still loved him no matter what. Even if he was a freak and gay and just really fucked up.

He stopped fighting it, and just let the storm come.

There was no telling how long it took. Eventually he took a breath and didn’t lose it in a sob. At some point his teeth unclenched. He noticed how much his throat hurt, and how hot his eyes were sometime later.

When his body was quiet, at last, he felt... peace. Not safety, he didn’t know if he would ever feel safe again, but he was more accepting. Ready to face what was to come. Or at least think about facing it without collapsing into a puddle of tears.

He lifted his head. There was no one around. He’d escaped unseen. A blessing.

It was so hard to stand up. His joints creaked, his muscles ached in ways they never would have from being beaten.

He used the end of his shirt to scrub his face, getting it blotchy with tears and mucus. He’d probably never get another concealing coat. It had gone to good cause, but he mourned it anyhow.

That was pretty gay. Between that and the crying-on-the-floor-like-a-girl thing, he’d probably just raised his pink triangle quotient a dozen points.

Sometimes it was just too hard to be the tough guy.

He made it upstairs without anyone seeing him. There weren’t a lot of people in the building, after all. Which was why it was so quiet. Unless....

Suddenly worried, he took the stairs four and six at a time, basically leaping up each flight in a bound or three.

What if they’d done something while he was gone? Moved in on the others – without Train there to protect them! There were ways to take out the others, even Brain and Nick. Knockout gas, something in the food – They could be cutting AJ up right now! Because he’d taken the time for a good fucking cry!

"AJ!" He screamed as he barreled out the door at the top of the stairs. "AJ!!! Nick, Howie, Brian!"

"Kev?!" Nick’s voice was like music. The door to Kevin’s own room opened and the blond came out. "What’s wrong? What are you screaming for?"

"Train?" Howie was right behind him, both of them coming to him. Remembering how he must look, Kevin stopped and wiped at his face with his arm, trying futilely to undo the damage. "Heidi called. Where were you?"

"I - I got lost..." He didn’t have time to finish the sentence because Nick was there, in his arms, hugging him fiercely.

"I thought you left us!" He held on so tightly that Kevin had to hug him back. "I thought you ran away and left us!"

"Nicky, Nicky..." Kevin stroke d his hair and patted him, glad that the teen wasn’t crying. "I would never do that to you... I will never abandon you, I swear it."

It took a few minutes to get him calmed down. Over his shoulder – he had gotten so tall – Kevin saw Brian’s scowling face in the doorway.

"You should have called or something," he said, turning and going back in.

"Is everything okay?" Kevin asked, keeping Nick beside him as he walked with Howie. "How’s AJ?"

"Okay. We got some dinner, finally, and then Heidi called. He started spiking right away, but Brian and I were able to sooth him and it stopped."

"That’s great!" Kevin smiled a little. "I mean, that you were able to get him to stop. Has he had anything to drink tonight?"

"Brain wouldn’t let him. Says he doesn’t need it as long as we’re here."

Kevin sighed. Brain didn’t seem to realize that just because he was willing to sacrifice himself to AJ’s care, that didn’t mean it was a viable option for others. Howie just couldn’t do it. Too much exposure eroded his control, and then they would have two semi-invalids. Because Brian’s power was so self-contained, he didn’t see that it didn’t work that way for others.

"I helped," Nick told him brightly, but Kevin could see the worry lines cut into skin too young for them.

"I know you did."

They went into the bedroom, and Kevin sighed. Furniture had been moved, his bed pushed into a corner, the larger TV brought out and set on his dresser where the smaller one had been.

"I was thinking we need to dance," Howie said, looking at him, his expression almost ridiculously peaceful. "It’s been a long time since we did that."

"It’s silly," Brian commented from his place on the floor. AJ was once again in the hammock, his eyes bright and dark as he watched them all. Kevin went to him and took his hand.

"I’m sorry you were worried," he said softly, before looking at the others. "I’m sorry to all of you. I didn’t mean to scare anyone. I just – needed some time alone."

"So you could cry without anyone seeing you?" Nick frowned. "You’re not supposed to cry alone, Train."

He’d almost forgotten they could see what had happened, right there on his face. Instinctively, he rubbed at it again, that made his eyes hurt worse.

"I wasn’t crying," he denied without offering any other explanation. "I need to wash my face."

He went to the bathroom and did that, with cold water, then sat on the toilet and held a wet cloth on his eyes with his head tipped back. Music started in the bedroom and he knew Howie wasn’t going to give up on his plan.

"Hey."

"Speak of the devil..." Kevin sighed. The cloth pressed harder on his eyes as Howie took over, and it felt better. Kevin let his hands drop to his lap. "Thanks."

"And he will appear." Howie stepped close, his body between Kevin’s spread knees, his chest almost touching Kevin’s. It felt – good. Comfortable, but not at all sexual. Kevin wondered if that was Howie’s doing. If he was projecting something to do that.

It could just be *Howie*.

"Remember in the beginning?" Howie’s voice so quiet and clear. "We’d mess up our timing during training sessions and everyone would come home pissed. The first time I said we needed to dance together, I thought Nick was going to faint."

The idea of dancing with guys had horrified the 12-year-old.

"Then we tried it. We got that video and we tried it. And we tried it again. We got sillier each time, but –"

"But our timing got better. We watched each other and learned how each other moved," Kevin remembered.

"We’ve forgotten that, Train. We’ve forgotten how each of us moves individually. That’s why our timing is off."

He was probably right. They had let themselves drift apart as the novelty of being what they were took hold for real.

"Okay," he said when Howie lifted the cloth and tenderly bathed his face with it. "We’ll dance."

When they left the bathroom it was clear it had been decided. Brian glowered, but didn’t protest when Kevin lifted AJ from the hammock and set him on his feet while Howie set up the old video they’d used so many times. Nick was practically vibrating – it would certainly do him good. Kevin had to smile at him.

"Let the rest of us catch up, Kaos."

AJ seemed steady and sober. It was a nice change. He was only wearing a pair of shorts again, so Kevin couldn’t help but notice that his skin was smooth and sleek. Brian had fixed him.

They lined up, just like the band did on the tape. It had taken them ages to get the steps right, but it had been lots of fun, and good for them, too. Just bubble-gum pop music, with no redeeming value except that it was fun and cheerful.

They lined up; Howie, Nick, Kevin, AJ, Brian. Only this time Brian got between Kevin and AJ, leaving Kevin alone at the end. He was used to being in the middle, but didn’t say anything, half afraid Brian would refuse to participate. His authority as team leader felt chancy right now.

"We don’t have to remember the steps," Howie said before he turned it on. "We just have to remember why we used to do this."

The video started. Kaos was moving with it withing the first minute. Kevin couldn’t help but grin at his enthusiasm. And he was pretty good, too. If he hadn’t been a superhero, dancing might have been his other profession. His mother would have loved that – she could have pushed him into auditions and carted him to agents to her heart’s content.

He had to cut off that line of thought. Whatever Jane had done, she was still his mother, and the teenager needed her. Recently he’d been drawing back a bit, and trying to help his younger brother Aaron hide his new powers to protect him from her, but she was *still* his mother, and he still loved her.

Howie was off in his own world, the movements coming to him smooth and easy, like he rehearsed daily. Beside him, Brian was less steady but his energy was rising. Kevin liked seeing that. Howie had been right. This was a good idea. They shouldn’t have stopped doing it.

After half an hour, it was like they hadn’t. Their movements all got smoother, the energy was high in the room. They synchronized like they’d learned to do, and it was like they could take themselves to the Garden and they’d be a hit.

The tape was a couple hours long. Feeling like he could breath a little easier, Kevin wanted to do the whole thing. He knew that was how Howie felt and hoped they could keep the others at that level. It was cleansing. To move as a group – it reminded him of a game they had played in the swimming hole when he was a boy; Amoeba. A pack of ten-year-olds, sun-browned and toasted red, arms around each other’s shoulders, legs kicking together, trying to move as a group. It had been mindless fun. The best kind.

He danced. His hips wiggled, his arms pumped, he felt more graceful than he had in months. Near him AJ was giggling every few minutes, the giggle becoming an inexplicable scowl once in a while. Kevin wondered just what he was thinking about. And gave himself a few minutes to admire the lithe brown body as it turned and shifted, abdomen rippling.

And if AJ was good to look at, Howie was heaven. His hands traveled his body seductively, his stomach and chest writhed, it was far too sexy for a man who’d never experienced physical pleasure. Of course,

he didn’t know Howie hadn’t. Before his power got so strong, he might have even. Kevin was certain he hadn’t touched anyone sexually in the last five years. What a waste.

Distracted by watching AJ and then Howie, Kevin still didn’t miss the way the atmosphere in the room changed when the second-to-last song came on. It was the favorite, hands down. They wiggled their way into a circle, then, with their arms in the air, wriggled some more. All grinning, even Howie. Brian looked radiant. Kevin could have sworn he saw an actual glow around him.

The circle on the screen broke up as the band members went off to do their own thing, some of it very suggestive. Kevin pulled back, wanting to see what the others did, but AJ followed him and started dancing in front of him. They’d done this a thousand times at clubs, Kevin went with it.

AJ put a hand on Kevin’s shoulder and gyrated himself toward the floor, hips thrusting forward, knees wide. Thinking he was going to overbalance and fall, Kevin followed him down. AJ’s hand slid down his chest to his waist. It felt like a blatant caress – Kevin sucked in a breath and stared at his friend.

Watching him with dark eyes, sweat shining on his smooth skin, AJ licked his lip. It was deliberate and sexual.

Kevin slowed his dancing, even though the music hadn’t changed. AJ brought his free hand from his thigh and ran it down his own chest, then reached to touch Kevin’s again. Kevin let him, his feelings so confused at that moment he couldn’t have reacted if he’d wanted to.

When AJ’s other hand came to his waist and they both squeezed, he tried to pull away. But everyone else were still dancing; Howie and Nick were actually as close as they were, and Brian was near them. Kevin didn’t want to ruin this for them with a bad moment. There was only one song left.

They split apart without anything said but, as he turned to reform the line, Kevin distinctly felt AJ’s hand slide across his ass. He blinked at him, shocked, and then his brain started working again.

He’d been drinking, of course. Supposedly the others had talked him out of it for the night, but there was no telling what he had hidden under the blankets of the hammock or in the bathroom. Suddenly angry, Kevin kept his distance from AJ as they finished the tape and the others collapsed onto the floor, laughing and gasping for air.

"I’ll get some water and towels," Kevin said, going into the small rec room to gather bottles. He dropped them off on his way to the bathroom. Closing the door behind himself, he felt the tears of earlier threatening to rise again. He had to breath deeply and slowly until the urge passed.

AJ was at least tipsy; he hadn’t known what he was doing. It had been meant in fun. Maybe he’d been trying to tease Kevin a little bit, but not in a mean way.

It felt mean, though. To Kevin, aching for someone to touch and hold, needing to be held, it had felt pretty fucking mean. Like AJ was taunting him with something he could never have.

No one came after him, so he had a few minutes to get himself together. When he went back out he handed out towels, then excused himself for a bath. Seeing AJ get up as if to follow him, he locked the bathroom door behind himself. It wouldn’t hold against any of them, but he needed at least the semblance of privacy.

He didn’t bathe. Just ran the water and sat against a wall, with his knees drawn up and his arms around them. He didn’t cry, either. In some ways, this hurt too much. That AJ would play with him like that, drunk or otherwise.

He tried to be honest with himself; he might have misread the situation completely. In AJ’s twisted mind, that could have been acceptable behavior. Even friendly. The fact he’d never done it before didn’t mean anything.

A long time ago, when the group was still new, Kevin had a crush on a team member. Howie. His beauty and the peace he exuded... the combination had made Kevin ache, and touch himself in the night. He’d understood, though, even then, that he couldn’t have him. Even before he’d understood that Howie didn’t want him. Not him or anyone. And part of it was probably that Howie was the only other adult on the team. AJ had been only 14 – rough and ready, arrogant and capable, but still only 14.

He’d grown up, all right. Into a sexual man. But also into a man that was hurting, himself and the people around him. It was pain that drove him to it, but Kevin was going to have a hard time forgiving him for this one.

After some time, he drained the tub and took a fast shower. If they were listening and they wondered, that was okay. They wouldn’t ask.

By the time he went back out into the bedroom it was dark. Only the light of the TV gleamed. He could see AJ as a mound in the hammock. He made himself go over to check on him.

"Bone?"

"‘m ‘kay..." He seemed to be asleep. As he got closer Kevin could see that it was happening again. Several fresh spikes glistened red on his arm, dangling down.

He went to bed and sat with his back against the headboard. He would be woken up soon anyhow, to sooth AJ and try to help him through this again.

He hoped he could do it without showing the hurt in his heart.

***

"Kevin!"

Pulling his pillow over his head, Kevin tried to tune out AJ’s shout. He’d been up with the younger man most of the night. It felt like he’d only been asleep a few minutes.

"Train! Train! Train!!!" Using his codename was one way to get his attention. Growling, Kevin rolled out of bed and stalked to the hammock. AJ was pushed half up, trying to get out of it. The TV was playing loudly.

"What? Are you hurt? What do you need, Bone?"

"You gotta watch - I can’t - I can’t tell -" he was waving the remote around and trying to get Kevin’s attention on the TV. With a sigh, Kevin pulled him out of the hammock and put him on the bed. He went to sit, too, but AJ moved closer to him so he slid down to the floor instead, his back to the bed.

"This better be important."

"Just *watch*," AJ sounded exasperated. Kevin wondered if there was any way he could get a cup of coffee.

The TV really was loud – if he hadn’t been so tired it would have woken him up. With an effort he focused on what was being said. It was the BBC World News, which came on early in the morning. Which meant it was just as early as he’d been afraid it was.

There were two reporters, a man in black and a woman in red. She looked slightly Asian. He was the one taking, though.

"Despite predictions of comic books and science fiction writers, everyone seemed

surprised by the development of actual metas in the late 20^th century. The US

government was the first to propose that metas could be useful; they held auditions

and put together the world’s first and still the best-known superteam, BSB."

They showed footage of the crowds that had gathered for the auditions. Most of them had been fakers, or people with tiny little useless powers hoping to get famous. Still working at Disney as a stunt man, Kevin had gone to one as quietly as possible, afraid he wouldn’t be taken seriously, worried about being laughed at. He’d had to give up some of his dreams when his body changed; professional ballroom dancing was no longer an option, and acting, well.

The interviewers had been stunned into silence when he’d demonstrated some of what he could do. They said things like ‘Superman’ that half-frightened him. He’d been offered a contract that very day. Excited, he hadn’t read it well before he signed it. He knew it was for ten years – but hadn’t realized how much control over his life he was giving up.

AJ brushed his hand over Kevin’s shoulder. Kevin got up and went to stand by the window.

She took over, "The first team was chosen over a period of months, and then it

took three years to get them into the field. No expense was spared."

That part was true. After he signed up, right at the end – he just hadn’t been sure he wanted to do that at all, he’d found they already had Howie and AJ and Nick. They’d almost refused Nick, he was only 12, and his power – no one could prove it actually *existed*. Sure, stuff happened when he was around, but it might have happened anyhow... to this day he thought Nick had been signed on to make his mother, Jane, shut u p and leave them alone. She’d written congressmen, called constantly and made just a huge nuisance of herself, even after he was part of the team. The reason Nick told Aaron to keep his power a secret; he knew his mother would push the younger Carter as hard or harder. Yes, Nick loved his mother, but he was realistic, too.

"Not long after their first mission, there was the infamous kidnaping attempt

on Nick Carter, the young man called Kaos – from right outside his high school

– by Arab terrorists who wanted to put him to work for them. Kaos managed to

escape on his own, but the committee - "

"That would be the Congressional Committee on Metahumans –" he interrupted,

"- decided it would be safer if all the sanctioned metas lived in the same place,

and so the famous ‘Complex’ was built. It now houses not just the one team, but their

successors as well, Team NSNC – like BSB, the acronym has never been explained –

was chosen only two years ago, but have already begun taking field missions."

"This is all old news," he growled harshly at AJ.

"It’s fuckin’ BBC News, man, you think they ain’t gonna say something important?!" AJ snarled back. Kevin was instantly sorry he’d been mean. It wasn’t AJ’s fault he’d been hurt last night. AJ hadn’t meant anything by it.

"Though their powers are, overall, not as impressive as the BSB team, NSNC

seems to have gotten off to a smooth start and the world expects great things of

them soon." the man picked it up again.

Kevin felt like he was watching a very slow tennis match.

"And we mustn’t forget the lovely women; the two stand alone heroines,

Glowy Girl Brittney and the amazing Christina, who will each be assigned a

whole city to protect and serve, and the first all-black team, Destiny’s Child,

led by charismatic Beyonce Knowles."

"Don’t know why Yonce can’t be on her own too. Those other girls are wimps, why can’t she be on a team with Brit or Chris?" AJ grumbled. Kevin glared at him. They all knew the girls, of course. They lived here in the complex too. He’d even heard a rumor that Brit and Timberlake were dating. That probably made Temple wet his shorts; there were no children born of meta parents yet. He knew they wanted him to have kids with Kristen, but there was no way in hell he’d expose a child of his to this insanity.

"But things have taken on a darker light in this brave new world." With the

ominous statement he nodded to his partner again. She took it up, her voice

more serious, her expression grave.

"After their highly successful mission to Cuba, after which the US was praised

for putting aside political concerns for human ones, rumors began spreading that

BSB Team Leader Train – aka Kevin Richardson – well known as the strongest man

alive, has been neglecting his duties. Sources say he refusing to train or participate in

team activities and that he’s even become physically violent with team members in

recent weeks."

There was a particularly unflattering picture of him on the screen. He looked like a barely-contained gorilla.

Hardly able to breath, Kevin slid to the floor, feeling his eyes huge in his head. AJ got up and was coming to him, but Kevin avoided and went to the phone.

He wanted to call Howie, but it was so early he was probably still in his water-filled trank tank. A sort of sensory deprivation chamber it had been designed to help burn patients. In it Howie could seek respite from a world filled with emotions he had to feel, that he could change if he wanted to. He set an alarm and wouldn’t wake before it went off unless one of them went to get him.

It was too early for Brian, too, but he called him anyhow, his eyes on the TV, hardly listening to his cousin grumble. He told him to turn on BBC America, then went to sit on the floor again.

"There have always been concerns about metas choosing evil over good,"

the woman was saying now. "The UN has drawn up resolutions in the past

designed to deal with the situation if it ever occurs, but this is the first time

there’s been a hint that it might actually happen."

"At a press briefing this morning, the White House Press secretary read a prepared

statement about the situation."

The screen shifted. There was the podium, the flag, the man in the suit looking far too young for his position. He wasn’t looking at the camera, really. Just at the reporters seated in front of him.

"To answer the rumors and restore public trust, I’d like to read this statement:

Kevin Richardson, Train, is still the leader of the BSB team. However, this could

change shortly, with very little notice. Discussions are being held and decisions made

concerning the future of not only the BSB team, but the other American hero teams

as well. Our safety and prosperity might be better served by a reorganization of all

teams. Should Mr. Richardson decide that he no longer wishes to be a part of this

organization, all necessary steps will be taken to protect the public from him. Measures

have been in place since the formation of the teams; the Complex scientists know how

to deal with all of our national metas."

Kevin barely had time to roll over and prop himself up before he started heaving. His empty stomach could only produce bitter bile that pooled on the carpet. He felt AJ’s hands on him and pushed him away, then reached for him as he sat up. But AJ was hurt, too, now. When Kevin grabbed his leg he spiked it and Kevin was forced to let go rather than hurt him.

"Asshole," AJ muttered, turning back to the TV.

Back to the male reporter, with his educated accent.

"It’s really sad, that someone with gifts like that, living the way he does, would still

want more, and at the expense of others."

"Really. They get a generous salary and luxurious living quarters, you would think

that and the chance to do good would be enough for him..."

Kevin choked, unable to breath. Sure, they’d been given nice enough rooms in the complex, but everything they had was subtracted from their salaries. Housing, food, clothing, transportation and even uniforms; they had to pay for it all, which left them basically broke. It was like being a migrant worker and buying from the company store. They didn’t get any of the revenue from the t-shirts or pictures or action figures that were sold with their likeness. And they weren’t given a choice about *any* of it. He could certainly find a house he liked for less than he was forced to pay here.

"Additionally, it’s being said that Richardson is an avowed homosexual who mislead

the Committee about his preferences. His marriage to Kristen Willits is said to be a

scam that he financed himself."

The door burst open and Nick barreled in. He threw himself at Kevin, who wrapped him in a hug, feeling the boy’s desperation.

"Kevin, they can’t - I won’t let them - what -" He was sobbing and shaking, and Kevin rubbed his back soothingly, hating that this was scaring him so much. Brain came in after him, not bothering to close the door, and stopped a couple of feet in front of them. AJ, still by the window, came over and bent his head to bump it into Brian’s shoulder. He was spiking, but slowly for the moment. Brian rubbed his head like a puppy’s.

"Nothing’s going to happen to me," Kevin soothed Nick. "I won’t let it. You won’t let it - not any of you." his eyes met Brian’s in challenge. He was grateful to see agreement in them.

"What are we gonna do, Train? What are we gonna *do*?!" Nick seemed on the verge of complete panic.

"We’re going to quit."

They all looked up as Howie spoke. He was framed in the doorway, still wearing the shorts he slept in. Dripping mineral water on the carpet.

Kevin thought he should ask him to drip over the puddle of puke.

"We can’t quit. We signed contracts!" Nick wailed.

"I think this would justify breaking them. If we can prove that they’re spreading lies about us..." Brian was in thinking mode.

"They won’t let us go," AJ straightened and snorted. "They’re going to have him and me locked up tight before you guys get a chance to make up your minds. We’re never gonna get out of here."

"Bullshit! We will get out – we’ll get out and hide and -" Kevin didn’t know what he was thinking. He handed Nick off to Brain and went after AJ trying to grab him and hug him, needing to offer solace. AJ backed away until he was at the wall, then crossed his spiked arms at the wrists in front of him defensively.

"*HIDE*?!" he seemed to be choking on bitter laughter. "You want me to *hide*? Tell me, how, Train - just fucking tell me HOW!"

"We’re not made for hiding." With Nick tucked up against him, and already taller than him, Brian spoke calmly. "We have friends outside. I’ve been thinking for almost a year now; this isn’t what God meant for me. For us. To be the personal playtoys of a corrupt government. He meant us to help people. Whoever needed it, whenever they need it."

Howie nodded, he came in and shut the door, turned up the volume on the TV and motioned them all into a huddle.

"I felt you," he said, looking at Kevin, then at AJ. "I was asleep and the alarm hadn’t gone off, but I felt you. Even in the tank. I knew I had to come to you."

"Thank you," Kevin wasn’t sure what to say, but that felt right.

"Shhh," Howie grinned. "I’m not done. Brian and I have talked about this a lot. We sort of already have plans in place. We knew this day was coming -"

"We all knew it, even if we weren’t ready to face it," Brian added.

Kevin felt briefly guilty, because he hadn’t been ready to accept this. Still wasn’t. But here it was, and they were gonna deal. As a team, the way they always did.

"I’ve talked to Heidi. She said that when we were ready to go, she’ll go with us. Lenny’s on our side."

"He got fired," Kevin objected.

"He’s a tremendously loyal man."

"We act like nothing’s wrong. Today when you see the committee, they’ll try to spin this; try to make you think everything’s okay and they’re dealing with it. Just press as usual."

"But we know better. We don’t have to see it to know it," Brian sounded so sure of himself. Kevin felt the knot in his stomach start to ease.

"Don’t let them get you to the lab," AJ broke in.

"We’ll take care of everything, cuz," Brian put his head under Kevin’s chin and hugged hard. "You just keep acting normal and trust us to fix this."

He breathed deeply. The huddle closed into something more like a hug and he felt himself being held and patted on every side.

How could he have thought he was lonely?

Quick plans were made. Brian and Howie settled themselves in his room, ostensibly to look after AJ. Nick placed himself at Kevin’s side, to ‘learn by observation’. By the time the committee called for him, he thought maybe he could get through this day.

***

"We thought it would be polite – " The congressman slid a sideways glance at Temple as he spoke, " – to tell you what we think we’re going to do. How we’re going to deal with this ‘situation’, and get your input on it. You’ve been the leader of tem BSB for five years now. It’s understandable that you would eventually feel overwhelmed and begin making mistakes."

"I didn’t make any mistakes," Kevin leaned to growl in Heidi’s ear. On his other side Jack touched his shoulder; a signal to keep quiet. Kevin had explained to his lawyer everything they had seen and heard and what they planned to do. Even the Senate couldn’t get it out of the man, because he was Kevin’s attorney.

This man seemed to be on his side - somewhat. But Kevin knew he couldn’t trust any of them. All they cared about was public perception, and Temple had successfully manipulated that. Against him.

"It’ s been suggested before that the teams be broken up and re-organized. Perhaps into three smaller teams that can each take a shift, leaving the others with more personal time. No more on-calls, except for emergencies."

Kevin couldn’t see how that was different. They’d been on-call for emergencies since they started. It was all about emergencies.

"If we send you for a break – say, six months somewhere pleasant – there would be nine members to make three teams of three. We could bump Brain up as leader for one of them, and Chris as leader for another."

That just showed how stupid they could be. Howie was older and more experienced than Chris – and not borderline psychotic. He knew they’d chosen him over Howie because they believed Chris would still be loyal to them. And they persisted in thinking of Brian as a good little soldier, easy to manipulate because of his beliefs.

It was good to know what they had planned, but he certainly had questions. He raised a hand and got Jack’s nod, then the chairman recognized him with that mildly-disgusted drawl. Just to be an ass, Kevin answered with his own, which was more legitimately southern than Temple’s any day.

"Ah was wahnderin just what kin-nd of place you plan on sending me to? If Ah’m gonna get a six-month break, I’d rather spend it with mah family."

"It wouldn’t be safe for them to have you around, Kevin," the almost-nice one smiled at him, and now Kevin saw the shark in his eyes. "Besides, you *are* under contract. We can’t just let you run off and play for months on end. But we’ll find you something interesting to do, I promise..."

I just bet, Kevin though. He turned his head far enough to see Nick, sitting in the first row of seats. This was a private meeting, but he’d insisted the teen be here, and they’d backed off without much of a fight. Apparently some people still didn’t think his power was real. From private practice sessions over the years, Kevin knew it completely.

Nick gave him a nod, too serious for his age, and closed his eyes. Kevin wished he could look down, under the dividing half-wall, and see if his feet were moving.

Suddenly, for no apparent reason, the sprinklers set into the ceiling opened up and began spraying. People jumped up, shouting. Several committee members ran for the doors. Looking just as surprised as anyone else, Nick came over the wall to Kevin and took his hand.

Kevin squeezed. Heidi was on his other side, her fluffy dark hard getting plastered to her face.

"We’ve got things to do," she whispered loudly over the sound of water. "It’s just as bad as Brian said it was."

He nodded. Taken out between Nick and Heidi, Jack trailing behind, his briefcase wrapped in his coat, they passed Temple, who was on his cellphone and shouting at someone.

The look he gave Kevin made him shiver.

It was time to go.

***

"So, what’s the plan?" They were well away from the meeting, Jack had been on the phone and Heidi wasn’t saying anything. Nick was pressed up against Kevin’s side like he wanted to meld or something. He had a careless arm over the teen’s shoulders to comfort him, but it was for control, too. In case Nick decided it would be a good idea to blow up the complex or something equally unfixable.

"Yes, it happened just the way predicted," Heidi was speaking rapidly, the words stilted, as if they were awkward coming out of her mouth. Kevin reflected that she’d never make it as a spy. "I know it’s an imposition -" She was quiet for longer than Kevin was comfortable with, then just said "Thanks, bye, see you soon." and hung up.

"What was that all about?" he asked, bending to get near her ear as they walked. Not too fast and not too slow. They didn’t want to give the impression they were in a hurry, but they really were.

"Nothing. Look, we went ahead and scheduled that hospital visit for tonight." – They were passing people in a hall, he thought he recognized it as close to the one he’d sat and cried in – "In case they decide you shouldn’t do that sort of thing anymore," He stared at her like she was crazy, they couldn’t go to a hospital at a time like this, especially Bone... "The other guys have packed up all the gifts you’ll be taking."

It was starting to make sense. They received a lot of gifts in the mail. Much of it was stuffed toys and things from kids. They tried hard to send out a reply to every child that wrote them, not worrying as much about the adults, but the toys built up. Usually Brian took them on his sneak hospital visits, and passed them out on the children’s ward.

If she was talking about packing, then they were going to take stuff with them. He wished they’d had time to sit down and talk about this. They could be accused of stealing. Not that they hadn’t earned everything – it would be said. But it would probably be said if they only took the clothes on their backs, and some of that stuff was just *theirs*. Gifts from family and friends, personal items.

He closed his eyes for a minute and hoped Brian had packed his, because his cousin would know what was important to him and what wasn’t. The box of cards and letters from his mother, brothers and nephews – he couldn’t leave that behind. The Bible his father gave him before he died –

"Heidi – " He wanted to stop her. They were headed right for the lobby. He wanted to go upstairs and make sure all the things he really needed were packed, and safe. Safe from prying eyes. There were letters, email he’d exchanged with gay men, gay websites... if that was released, his mother would be embarrassed. "I need to be sure –"

"They got everything, Train." She patted him on the back as they passed the two security guards in the lobby. The ones that hadn’t been there this morning. Or ever before.

One of them stepped up and held an arm out.

"We can’t let Mr. Richardson leave, ma’am. He’s under orders to stay inside the building."

Damn, that happened fast.

"He has a scheduled engagement," Heidi pulled out her clipboard and showed him the highlighted paragraph.

"Train..." Nick was beginning to panic.

"You go ahead, kid, I’ll wait while they clear this up." He gave him a pat and sort of pushed him at Jack. The attorney looked startled, but led Nick out to the waiting truck.

Heidi glared at the guard.

"I want to see a copy of those orders. Who issued them?"

Kevin watched Jack getting Nick to the truck. Several sets of hands grabbed and pulled him in.

"Senator Temple, over the phone."

"Then you call him right now and he can give them to me. I’m their handler – if I don’t get the orders they don’t exist. Senator *Temple* does not decide what these boys can and can’t do."

Jack came back in, cellphone to his ear. He spoke to the guard like he was beneath notice.

"Is this man under arrest? Is he being held in suspicion of any illegal activity? Have the police been notified?"

Taken aback, the guard held his ground. He must have known he couldn’t stop Train, but he was determined. Seeing the faint sheen of sweat on his brow made Kevin sad. He didn’t want people to be afraid of him.

"I have my orders, sir."

"Since when do you take orders from a Senator?" Heidi asked.

"Ma’am?" He looked startled by the question, and looked at his partner for the first time. The other man shrugged. It didn’t seem he was going to get involved.

"Did you get this from your commanding officer or from the Senator himself?" She made ‘senator’ sound like a dirty word.

"He called himself," he seemed impressed by this.

"So you’re received no official orders of any kind in relation to this matter." Jack seemed to be clarifying. "I don’t think that’s right, soldier."

Now looking confused, and even a bit worried, the man looked at his partner again. The man shrugged again, but followed it up with words.

"I told you it sounded hinky. These guys are our heros, why would he want them stuck here?"

"But if I let him go I’ll get shit for it."

"Not from your commanding officer, I assure you," Jack told him. "Trust me, I’m an attorney." Kevin bit back a laugh at that. But it seemed the guard had reconsidered, because he stepped out of the way.

"I’m sorry for the delay ma’am," he said apologetically. "There are things going on here that I just don’t understand."

They started to walk out, and the guard walked beside Kevin.

"Just wanted to tell you, sir, that I think what you do is great. I would never have tried to stop you, I just thought, with the phone call and all..."

"It’s okay," Kevin reassured him, seeing how young he was. How had he drawn this posting? Important relations, maybe. That could protect him. "I understand."

"Thanks, man." His relief seemed out of proportion to the exchange, but Kevin was too busy letting himself be pulled into the truck to comment or worry about it. Jack gave him a slap on the back and promised to call later, after he found out what was going on.

He was shoved to the back, where AJ was curled alone, the others unable to touch him. Climbing over to gather the younger man into his lap, he realized he was almost stepping on boxes and suitcases stuffed under the seats. He craned his neck to look behind his seat, the last one, and saw that it was packed. And on top of everything stacked there was a bundled-up mess shedding fluff – AJ’s hammock.

AJ moaned when he lifted him, and Kevin gagged on the alcohol fumes. Howie looked back at him, Nick lying with his head in Howie’s lap.

"We didn’t know what else to do. So we let him drink."

"Where are we going?"

"I’m not sure," Howie’s face was tight and Kevin realized that there was one important thing they couldn’t have packed; his trank tank. How was he going to get along without it? "I was getting everyone packed. Brian and Heidi made the arrangements."

He could trust them. Wherever it was they were going, they would be safe. At least for a little while.

They drove longer than he’d expected. When Brain pulled into the long, winding driveway, he thought they were in the wrong place entirely. There was a gate with a keypad; Brian typed without looking at any notes. Kevin tried to see what he was doing, but couldn’t move too much without upsetting AJ.

"Where are we?" For one deathly moment he thought Heidi had betrayed them and brought them to some politician’s mansion. Then they went around a curve and he saw the collection of houses and breathed a silent sigh of relief. It was just a gated community. Large houses, expensive – not his style at all. Then another thought came to him.

"How can we be safe if there’s a lot of people living here?"

"The houses are still vacant. The developer is caught up in a lawsuit – he won’t be able to move the property for months."

"Does he know we’re going to be here?" From the looks of it, he seemed to be the only one that didn’t know what was going on.

"We’ll be staying at his house." Heidi half-turned and gave him a scolding look. "We’ll explain once you’re all safe inside. I don’t know how long it will take for them to start looking for you."

"Shit." Kevin took in a deep breath. "We really did it?"

"Save the panic attack, Train." Brian scolded him. "There’ll be plenty of time for it later."

Used to being in charge, he was bemused as they parked and Brian got out the others out, telling him to stay where he was.

"We need to check the floors and see where you’re going to put AJ."

Cuddling him Kevin just watched. A handsome dark-haired man came out of the house. He wore a suit but was barefoot. He gave Heidi a kiss and took some boxes from Nick, who was shadowing Heidi because Howie was still getting things out.

Eventually the only people still outside were Heidi and the man. Kevin struggled to get out with AJ limp in his arms. The truck was big, but so was he, and the burden wasn’t helping.

"Let me get that," The man got the second side door open and held it. Kevin gave him a grateful grin and climbed laboriously to the driveway. "Is he okay?"

Looking at AJ’s tense face and feeling the way the spikes bit through the blankets and tried to eat at Kevin’s skin, he had to answer honestly.

"Not really."

"Tony, this is Kevin. Kevin Richardson. Train," Heidi said, and it seemed she was slightly embarrassed. Kevin wondered if this was her boyfriend. He hadn’t known she was seeing anyone. "Tony is my brother’s partner."

"Excuse me?" Good manners were bred in, thankfully. "He’s what?"

"My brother Page – Tony is his partner, Train. That’s one of the reasons I asked him for help. He’s on your side."

"Partner?" Kevin felt suddenly stupid.

"I’m Tony, Kevin," The man offered a hand and he juggled AJ to shake it, gently. "I’m gay."

"Your brother is gay?!" He turned on Heidi, then backed off when she took a step away. "What am I, then? Some kind of - of - project?"

"We can talk about it inside. There’s food and I’m sure we can find a place for you to put him down," Tony hesitated. "If you want to."

"I’d love to eat." Nothing had set well in his stomach since he’d seen that BBC report. "But unless you want your furniture shredded..."

"We’ll figure something out," he said again. He seemed determined to welcome them and make them feel at home. He reminded Kevin of his mom.

"Inside would be good," he agreed after a second. "I could do inside."

"I hope the door’s wide enough..." Tony said, leading the way, and Kevin saw he was teasing. It seemed like a good beginning.

It wasn’t. Going in sideways, Kevin came close to bumping AJ’s head. Tony grabbed for it before Kevin could warn him, and came away with bloody scratches on his hand. He stared at it as Kevin stood in the middle of the living room, trying to decide which sofa was safe to sit on. He finally chose the big leather one and gathered AJ more compactly so he wouldn’t tear anything.

"He has spikes in his hair?"

"Sometimes he has spikes everywhere," Kevin wasn’t paying attention as he answered, but looking around. He could hear Nick chortling somewhere nearby but out of sight. "You don’t, by any chance, have a Playstation?"

"And an X-Box," Tony rolled his eyes. "Page loves them."

Knowing Page was Heidi’s brother – he’d even seen pictures in her wallet – Kevin gave her a look. He was irritated that she’d kept information form him but it wasn’t any of his business, really. He had no right to be angry.

Brian came in and looked at them. He was almost smiling. Kevin was relieved to see that.

"We’ve got rooms sorted out, cuz. Tony, I need to know if you have a problem with some minor structural modifications?"

"We can’t pay you for any of this –" Kevin felt he had to speak up. "We come essentially as beggars."

"You’re not going to have to," Tony came over and ran one finger very carefully down AJ’s cheek, where he wasn’t spiked at the moment. Kevin wanted to move him away.

"How’s that going to work?" He knew he sounded ungrateful and untrusting, two things his momma never wanted him to be. But trust was stretched too thin after the last few weeks.

"We can talk about it later," Tony tried to reassure him, but Kevin felt like arguing. He would have, too, if AJ hadn’t woken up with a moan and Heidi hadn’t given him such an exasperated look.

"Put me down, asshole," AJ said as soon as his eyes opened.

"Yeah, you’re welcome," Kevin sighed as he did. AJ teetered for a minute, but then straightened.

"Where am I and who the fuck are you?" he glowered at Tony, who looked startled.

"Your host."

"Why aren’t we at home?" AJ turned in a slow circle, checking the room out. "Nice digs."

"We left," Brian came back in and took AJ’s hand like he was an idiot child. "Remember?"

It wasn’t often Brian stepped wrong, but AJ was apparently still drunk enough to take offense at this. He yanked his hand back without caring if it hurt Brian, and stalked toward the front door.

"This is cracked. I’m going outside."

"You can’t." Kevin went after him and caught him by the arm. Immediately it spiked. AJ bristled aggressively.

"You gonna stop me, nancy-boy?"

Kevin was aware that everyone was staring. Howie and Nick were at the nearest doorway. Brian looked hurt and a bit angry.

"You can call me names, Bone, but you can’t go outside."

"What is *with* you, Train?!" AJ was shouting at him now. "You need to make up your fucking mind – either you *want* to hang onta me or ya don’t!" He pulled free with an effort, Kevin too startled to stop him, and stalked up the stairs, looking for all the world like a pissed-off porcupine.

"What was that all about?" Brian demanded.

"Kevin..." Nick was on the verge of crying again, so Kevin went to take care of him. He exchanged nods with Howie, who went up after AJ. "Don’t fight, Kevin, please don’t fight..."

"I’m not fighting, Nicky. Just sorting things out with Bone. He’s having so much trouble right now, he forgets who his friends are..."

"Like the way you forget who *you* are, Kevin." Tony was speaking to him and Kevin looked up, not expecting it. "You’ve let Temple and those others convince you that you’re personally responsible for every thing that happens with this team, and that they have the last word in every thing. You belong to the people, as a team, not some committee."

"I know that," he looked at Heidi, wondering if he had to listen to this guy to stay here.

"Not yet you don’t." Tony seemed amused. "But I’ll fix it so everyone does." With a small half-shrug, he followed Howie upstairs, gesturing to Brian. "Let’s see what kind of structural modification we’re talking about. Will I need to hire a contractor..."

They passed out of sight and Kevin was left with just Nick and Heidi.

"I’m going to go see if I can find something to make for dinner," Heidi said brightly. "Nick, would you like to help me?"

"Yeah!" He didn’t get many chances to play in the kitchen. Kevin wondered if he could make more than cereal. "Maybe there’s stuff for cheeseburgers..."

That was more encouraging. Not knowing exactly what to do with himself, Kevin sat on the sofa again. He was tired; he tried to lie down, but there was no way to get comfortable. Some part of him hung off no matter what position he took.

Taking a throw pillow with him, he lay on the floor, right in front of the sofa. There was a large window in the side wall. He’d been too distracted to notice it before. The curtains were almost drawn, but the crack they were open showed a slice of green grass and a hint of shimmer-blue. There might be a pool out there. He’d love to get in a pool. They hadn’t had one at the complex. Well, there was one, but they weren’t cleared to use it except during tests. Never for recreation.

He’d tried to explain, once, how it made him feel better to be in water. Jeffers had pointed out that he didn’t feel pain, so what did he mean by better? That had been in the beginning, and Kevin was confused by his attitude. Now he understood that he’d been there for Jeffers’ convenience, not the other way around.

But pool... if they were staying here he bet Tony would let him use it. He’d wait a few days to ask. See how things went.

Thinking about floating, he dozed off.

***

"Can I have the rest of your fries, Brian?"

A soft laugh and then; "Yeah, help yourself."

Kevin lay still and listened, marveling at what he was hearing.

Happy sounds. Peaceful eating sounds. A ‘bloop’ as a ketchup bottle farted, and a bit of laughter, quickly shushed up.

"Let him sleep." A warning, low-voiced and peaceful. Howie.

"I kept him up most of the night." AJ, sounding vaguely guilty.

"Most of the last month," Nick put in. Kevin could tell he had his mouth full. "Hey, can I have one of his burgers if he’s gonna sleep all night?"

"I’m awake!" Kevin said, slightly slurred. It had been years since he slept in the daytime. Naps weren’t on the approved list. And not really in his nature, either. There was a burst of surprised laughter from the others. He opened his eyes slowly, rolling over. "Don’t let him eat my food..."

"Sleeping beauty," Howie teased.

"Hang on, who kissed him?!" Nick looked affronted. "I didn’t kiss him – AJ, did you kiss him?!"

"Nu-uh, not me! Must have been Brian!"

"I don’t think so...." Brian was shaking his head. He pointed at Heidi. "She did, of course. She’s the only girl here."

"And that matters why?" Heidi asked dryly. She put out a hand for Kevin to grab. They were all on the three sofas, and there was something showing on the bigscreen TV. He’d rolled away from the sofa while he slept and was now in the middle of the floor. He took her hand, grinning a little because there was no way she could begin to lift him. It was a nice gesture, though.

"Are there any fries left?" He saw a fast-food spread on the large square granite coffee table in front of the second sofa.

"We saved you some." Brian pushed a bag toward him.

"It was a team effort," Howie teased, with a nod at Nick. He was polishing off another greasy box of french fries.

This was one of the things they weren’t allowed to eat. The strictly controlled diets had made all of them angry at one point or another. Except for drinking when they went out. No one seemed to care about that. It was what American heroes did, after all. But not letting them pick a menu or stock their own groceries? Like they were children that would eat junk all day if given the chance. Well, Nick, *was*, but he’d grow out of it. And how would he learn if he never had the chance to make those decisions?

Brian had once observed that even prison inmates got more choice in food than they did. That included the guys they put away.

Stuffing half a cheeseburger in his mouth, Kevin sighed with pleasure and reached – Howie placed a dripping beer bottle in it, and he washed the mess down with several swallows.

"Ah, that’s good," he sighed again, and ate the other half in two bites, followed by a handful of fries. A large handful, because he had large hands. They were almost cold and really kinda greasy and he scarfed them up like candy. Which he also wasn’t allowed to have. But not anymore.

"Are there any M&Ms?" He ate the second burger, looking around hopefully. Early on Jeffers had decided they could slim his bulk by not giving him as much as he wanted to eat and he’d spent nearly eight months hungry all the time; the others had started giving him a portion of their meals to ease the strain. Hearing of it, Jeffers had thrown a fit, then the committee as a whole had decided that unless one of them was actually overweight, they should be allowed to eat as much as they want. They didn’t know how *much* someone like him needed to eat, after all. It was just another of Jeffers’ attempts to use them as his personal guinea pigs. Even with the decision Kevin had trouble getting enough to eat. The hunger lingered like the memory of a sore tooth.

"We did stop at a store..."

Kevin noted that the curtains were open and it was dark outside. There was a pool, a shimmering hint of movement beyond the house lights.

"I went to Wal-Mart!" Nick crowed. "It was great! They have *everything*!" He scrambled off the sofa and behind it. There was plastic rustling and he came up triumphant, a brightly colored plastic box in hand. "It’s Legend of Dragoon!"

"You took him to WalMart?" Kevin asked Heidi carefully.

"There haven’t been any reports of you missing. We’ve been watching the news all day. Just turned it off to eat," Tony said.

"He’s a kid, he wanted to go to the store," Heidi wasn’t justifying it. "He’s not that recognizable out of uniform."

Seeing the happy expression on Nick’s face and that there had been no adverse consequences – except maybe tonight when he tried to get the kid to go to bed – Kevin let it drop. He didn’t think it was safe, but he wasn’t as in charge now as he had been.

He ate the third burger more slowly than the others, and finished a second beer. Finally, he felt full. And like he could breath a little bit.

He lay back down on the floor, pulling the throw pillow over under his head and looked out the window toward the water. Brian and Heidi cleaned up the after-dinner mess. Nick dropped a giant economy-sized bag of M&Ms on his chest. Kevin smiled.

"We should check the news again," Heidi said, coming back from wherever she had been. The kitchen, Kevin thought.

Nick had gone into the other room - the playroom, Tony called it – with Brian, and sounds of glee stuttered out at irregular intervals, interspersed with dismay.

Howie was on the sofa alone now. Kevin thought about getting up and going to sit with him, but remembered that he didn’t have a tank now. Maybe staying away was the kindest thing Kevin could do.

Sitting near Tony, who hadn’t helped with the clean-up – it was his house, after all – AJ moved when Heidi picked up the remote. Sliding to the floor, he crawled over to Kevin, who got a chance to look him over, as he was wearing only sweat pants.

"Kevin?" He stopped near him. Kevin noted the lack of spikes with relief. But he still looked tired and edgy. He didn’t smell like beer, either.

"Hey, Bone." He tried to be welcoming.

"I’m sorry. For what I called you."

"Well, they say truth hurts." He gave half shrug, not wanting to move. He was more comfortable on this floor than he’d been in weeks.

"But your friends shouldn’t hurt you." AJ came closer and sort of sat beside him. Sort of because he didn’t really relax into it. Like he was afraid Kevin would push him away. Bothered by that, Kevin reached for him, and was surprised when AJ leaned into the embrace, lying across him and hugging him tight. "You’ve been taking such good care of me." AJ muttered. "And I’ve been a real shit to you."

"Yeah, well. It’s in your nature," Kevin said softly. He didn’t feel up to dealing with another emotional scene today. Though today seemed to be mostly over. Maybe it was already gone. "It’s okay, AJ. You did some things that I didn’t understand, said some things that hurt – but I understand that you’re hurting too. More than I am."

"That shouldn’t be an excuse."

"We can let it be. Just this once." Kevin lifted him and shifted him so AJ’s head was on his shoulder and his body was close to Kevin’s but not touching it. "We’re going to watch the news now, okay? Everything’s fine with us."

"Not really. You’re just putting me off," AJ grumbled, but he lay still. Except for his hand that was randomly patting and stroking Kevin’s leg. He could barely feel it through the heavy leather of his pants.

"Yeah, well. It can wait, right?"

AJ looked around, Heidi had the TV on CNN and they were doing entertainment news. Soon they would get to headlines. If there was something about them, it would be there.

"What else did I do, Kev?"

"I don’t want to talk about it now. Is that okay?" He was pretty sure AJ hadn’t meant anything by his teasing while they danced. It wasn’t his fault Kevin’s body had reacted to it so strongly. "Trust me when I say I’m over it?"

He nodded, and snuggled closer. Kevin wasn’t sure what to do, so he opened his bag of M&Ms with his teeth and one hand and fished out a few. Popping them into his mouth, he was reminded of good things in life. Like lying on the floor with a friend. For whatever reason.

"Yeah, okay." AJ said and helped himself to some candies. "Can I have all the green ones?"

Brian came in, trailed by Nick and studied them for a minute. Nick was reading the manual he’d apparently also bought to go with the video game, unaware of anything else.

Kevin met those eyes, and they exchanged nods. Brian turned to the teen and tapped his shoulder.

"Time for bed, Carter."

He whipped his head around, eyes astonishingly wide.

"Bed?! Why?! I don’t have a bedtime here!"

Sometimes he acted more like 6 than 16. Kevin watched silently, glad he didn’t have to deal with it tonight. Though Brian was Nick’s favorite and they spent a lot of time together, discipline fell to Kevin; it was easier for Nick to have one authority figure when he was young. They hadn’t wanted to confuse him. Someone needed to do it — his mother wasn’t about to.

"Rules are still in effect," Brian told him. "You’ve got to get to bed at a decent hour."

"But we don’t have anything to do tomorrow!"

"That won’t always be true. No sense getting into bad habits. If we don’t have anything to do, you’ll have plenty of time to play the new game."

Nick’s eyes were red. Kevin thought about changing his mind, but he couldn’t say anything now because that would undercut Brian. And he was far too comfortable to get up and ask Brian to talk privately.

So Nicky was going to bed on one of the most traumatic days of his life because Kevin was comfortable. It wasn’t a fair world.

He hadn’t asked to call his mother. Or even his brother. That was kind of sad. This could be called kidnaping, if someone wanted to get stubborn about it. He was only 16. He’d be 17 in three weeks, but for the moment –

Brian had talked him out of the room, manual still in both hands, while Kevin was thinking. Now Heidi turned up the volume on the TV.

"Still nothing," she said, appearing put out. "What are they waiting for?"

"They probably think we’re just having a tantrum and we’ll come back soon. They think we’re completely brainwashed." Howie got up from the sofa. "I’m going for a walk. Don’t wait up for me, okay?"

"Everything okay?" Kevin asked from the floor.

"Just need to clear my head."

"It should be safe," Tony put in. "I’ll be up when you get back . Page is on a red eye, I always wait for him to come home before I go to bed."

Howie just looked them over, and nodded. Kevin gave him what he hoped was an encouraging smile.

Heidi turned off the TV and stood, stretching. "I’m gonna hit the sack. Are you guys going to stay there all night?"

"It’s not bad," Kevin said. "And I don’t have to worry about breaking anything."

"I’m good," AJ volunteered, proving it with a yawn.

"I’ll be out back reading if you need anything." Tony got up as well. He went to a hall closest and pulled out two pillows and a duvet, came over and dropped the lot on top of them. "It can be a little more comfortable, I think."

"Thank you," Kevin said, and knew it didn’t cover the situation. It was all he knew how to say, though. "We really appreciate it -"

"Good night, Train." Tony grinned at him, an expression that made him look years younger, and left the room, through the sliding glass door. He left it open a little bit and Kevin could smell the water and grass.

***

Kevin woke the next morning to muted sounds of video game mayhem. Nick was shouting, Brian was shouting encouragement and somewhere in there Howie was laughing.

He didn’t even open his eyes. There was warm weight and pressure along his side and a weight over his hips. Warmth between his legs. A few spots of pressure he recognized as spikes – they would have been pain for anyone else.

A blanket over him, the carpet soft beneath him.

He felt heavy, but in a good way. Solid and grounded. Surprisingly peaceful.

The television in this room was on, but not loud enough that he could hear it clearly. It sounded like sports.

Finally, he opened his eyes.

Lenny was sitting on the nearest sofa, a glass in one hand and a sandwich in the other.

"God morning, sleepyhead." He smiled at Kevin. For a moment it was almost as if Kevin’s father had come back and was smiling at him through Lenny’s tired grey eyes.

"I thought you were unemployed," Kevin said. He lifted the blanket to look beneath it, not surprised to find AJ wrapped tightly around him, his own arm holding the younger man close. He was showing only a few spikes. Kevin didn’t want to wake him.

"Your new manager called me this morning and offered me my job back – at a substantially reduced salary, of course." Lenny smiled again and took a bite of his sandwich.

"Thanks for accepting it." Kevin smiled again. It felt good on his face.

Lenny made an affirmative sound around his food. Watching him eat, Kevin felt hungry, but not enough to disturb AJ.

He must have felt safe here, too. He hadn’t slept so well in months. Kevin wouldn’t wake him for anything less than a world war.

Howls of indignation and bursts of laughter spilled from the next room. Kevin caught Lenny’s eye and nodded toward the door. Demonstrating once again his understanding nature, Lenny went over and shut it.

They watched the football game for a while. It had been a long time since Kevin had watched one. When he’d first changed, it had been too hard. He’d loved football. Until he turned 16 and became Train, his first goal in life had been to play professionally.

The second had been to get laid. His figured that was pretty typical.

AJ snuffled against him, his nose in Kevin’s armpit. It tickled. He tried not to squirm, using both hands to pat and sooth Aje back to deeper sleep.

"He okay?" Lenny asked.

"He’s good. Sleeping real good."

"He sleeps better when he’s close to you." Lenny finished his lemonade.

"I suppose."

"That should tell you something." Lenny was looking at him intently, but Kevin didn’t know what he was getting at or what to say back. "I know people think you’re a big dumb schmuck, but that’s me. You’re smart under all that muscle."

"Maybe. So?"

"So you should be able to see what’s right under your nose."

"You’re not making any sense. Are you sure that was just lemonade?"

"Scout’s honor." Lenny held up three fingers and Kevin smiled because he had the salute wrong. Kevin had actually *been* a Boy Scout.

"What else has our ‘new manager’ been up to?" he asked. The halftime show was on. Boring. There had been talk of letting Brittney sing at one. Kevin hoped they never did it. Her voice could grind glass.

"She’s been trying to find some work for you guys. There are a lot of people asking for your help. You’re going to have to hire staff just to sort out the requests."

Kevin was nodding – almost drifting off again, because he knew Lenny wouldn’t be offended – when the opposite door burst open and the room was stormed by armed men.

Well, not exactly. But it sort of felt that way when Nick, Brian and Howie, with Ed Green and another man Kevin didn’t recognize all came in at once, talking and laughing and arguing.

Before he could say "Shhh!" AJ woke up. Startled, he spiked out, climbing over Kevin in his half-asleep fright.

"What the hell?!" The stranger blurted out as the blanket was shredded, the pieces falling away and revealing Bone, in all his blood-dripping freaky glory.

"Train!" he shouted, crouched on the floor, fighting to free himself from clinging fabric. "TRAIN!!"

"Brian!" Nick shouted. Kevin rolled over in time to see Bri headed for them.

"Keep him back!" Kevin worked to get up. Too long in one position had made him stiff. "Let me handle this!"

"Train?!" AJ scraped his face with his hands. Blood dripped between his fingers.

"Sweet Jesus." Ed Green was holding back the stranger, a man Kevin vaguely noted was good-looking and well dressed.

Heidi down the stairs and stopped short.

The room was suddenly quiet. He wondered if Lenny had muted the TV.

"AJ, be still. Stand still." speaking quietly, Kevin got all the way up and took a couple of steps. He imagined he heard the floor creak beneath him. The stranger looked up at him, eyes comically round. Kevin waved them all off, though they weren’t close enough to be hurt. Unless AJ moved. For the moment he was being still. Like Kevin told him.

"AJ - what’s wrong with your eyes?"

"They hurt," he whispered. "I’m afraid to open them. Where am I?"

He sounded almost drugged. Kevin reflected that letting him sleep too long seemed like a bad thing, too.

"We’re at Tony’s," he answered, moving closer. "Remember? We came here yesterday? You and I, we fell asleep on the floor." He got between AJ and everyone else. Heidi was coming closer now, but the others were moving away, until they were behind the sofas and close to the wall.

"I slept with you?"

There was a snort of laughter behind them, but Kevin didn’t bother commenting on it. He couldn’t really decide how to answer that question, either, so he ignored it and went closer, touching AJ’s hands gently.

"Do your eyes hurt, or just around them?"

"Around them - I think. I’m afraid to open my eyes, Train!"

The bleeding seemed to have stopped. Kevin tugged gently on his hands.

"Keep them closed and let me look."

"I’m getting the first aid kit," Ed said. Kevin heard Nick give a choked giggle. Brain spoke up.

"You won’t need that. I’m here."

"Yes," Kevin leaned in close, letting his breath drift over AJ’s hair. The smaller man’s tension lessened visibly. "We’re all here, Bone. You’re never going to be alone in this."

The smaller man didn’t answer. This worried Kevin a little, but AJ let him move their hands.

It seemed everyone was holding their breath. He blocked the view from them with his body, wanting privacy for this moment. AJ needed that, and hadn’t gotten much of it lately.

Each dark eye was circled with a line of needle-sharp two-inch spikes, but they only surrounded the eyes. There were also dark circles in bruised-looking skin beneath his eyes, the spikes sprouting from them like some evil growth from a scorched field, but his eyes themselves were untouched. Before Kevin could ask, Heidi was there with a damp rag. He touched the skin and AJ shuddered.

"I know it hurts. Would a shower be better?"

Instead of answering, AJ grabbed at him. His hands were spiked, too, but the fact he couldn’t hurt Kevin was fast becoming a chorus of their life.

"You can use the master bath," the man Kevin didn’t know said. "It’s got the biggest shower." He pointed.

"Thank you." With an arm over AJ’s shoulder, Kevin started to lead him that direction. He glanced back over his shoulder as they entered the hallway, and he was surprised by the variety of emotions he saw on his friends’ faces.

Heidi looked worried, which was normal. Brain looked upset, but he was hiding it.

Lenny was looking - meaningful. Kevin rolled his eyes. He had to take care of AJ. There wasn’t anything more to this than that.

The master bedroom was made up of linen and copper, traces of black, fabrics rich with texture. Natural colors with an African feel. He thought he’d like a room like this. The bathroom was much the same, with a splash of green marble thrown in, and a two-person whirlpool tub. Kevin got the water going, with AJ leaning on him for support. He stood, watching the water pour in, and looked around. The doorway between the bathroom and bedroom was large, so he could see everything. For a few minutes he stared at the metal wall sculpture; strips of copped, some smooth-edged, some ragged, all at different stages of aging, bright through darkly tarnished, woven together into a shape he could almost recognize but not quite –

Someone came into the room, Tony. He nodded at them and went to a large wardrobe, opening a drawer inside and pulling out a set of sweats.

"He’ll need something to wear when he gets out." He carried them over to Kevin, standing in the doorway. "Will this do?"

"That depends on wether you want them back in one piece or not." Kevin accepted them and set them on the counter.

"It’s not important." Tony gave a little shrug.

"Thanks."

The tub was half full. Kevin thought he should start getting AJ undressed soon. But Tony was still there. Watching, though his face was kind and his smile gentle.

"I love the room," Kevin said, surprised to hear the words come out of his mouth. It sounded pretty gay to him.

"Heidi designed it. We told her natural colors, but no flowers or girly stuff. It’s my favorite room in the house."

"I didn’t know she did interior design." He felt stupid, he should have known that.

"She couldn’t make a living at it, but I think she’s talented."

Kevin looked around again, noting small touches, like the set of four woven hangings on the faux-suede wall over the tub. It was just enough, not overpowering but noticeable.

"She’s really good. I should have known she did that. She’s been with us for years, I should know she did this."

Tony frowned. "From what I hear, you spend plenty of time taking care of people, Kevin. Don’t worry about my sister. She can take care of herself. You have other responsibilities."

"I’m not doing too well lately," he sighed, unconsciously stroking AJ’s head, the little spikes pushing through his hair like some punk hairstyle.

"I think you’re doing great." Tony seemed to be watching him closely. It made Kevin wonder. He was feeling really paranoid lately. He shrugged and took his hand away from AJ. "You’re doing everything you can."

"Maybe."

"The hardest thing I ever learned, Kevin," Tony started, then sighed. "I sound like an old man, I know. But really. The hardest thing I learned was to live my life for myself and not worry what other people thought. It’s hard sometimes. My father still doesn’t understand. But in the end, that’s all you can do."

His mouth felt dry, but Kevin tried to answer.

"When you’re responsible for other people it gets harder. It’s like, everything affects everyone. Sometimes I feel like I can’t breath." It was hard to admit, and a strange place to do it; in this man’s bathroom, on the run.

Actually, it kind of made sense, in terms of his life so far.

"But you still have to live *your* life," Tony said with odd intensity. Kevin tried to understand what he was getting at.

"Yeah...."

"Look at him, Kevin." Tony pointed at AJ with a folded elbow, his arms crossed. "What’s he going to do if he can never touch anyone but you?

"He’ll get better." He felt AJ move beside him, burrowing closer to him. The pressure of spikes on skin warned him that AJ was going to hurt himself if he kept doing that. With the ease of practice he shifted the smaller man around to where it was more body-pressing, fitting himself there.

"And if he doesn’t? Will you make him go through life alone because some people don’t approve of what you could have?"

"What we – Tony, it’s not like that." Uncomfortable, Kevin wished AJ weren’t awake and listening.

"Maybe it should be. Don’t let anyone tell you how to live, Kevin. You’ve been fighting that for a while now. Don’t give in on this issue."

Leaving a stunned Kevin speechless, Tony left the bathroom, pulling the pocket doors closed behind him.

The tub was full – almost too full. He set AJ in the wicker chair and turned it off before starting to work off the shredded shirt.

"You know he’s right," AJ said suddenly.

"About what?" He wasn’t going to bathe with him this time. The younger man seemed coherent enough to do it on his own, and the spikes were starting to retract again, now that he was calm and didn’t feel threatened. Not that there was really any pattern to it, of course. Kevin knew that all too well now. But calm always seemed to help.

"I tried to tell you, but you, you didn’t seem interested." AJ twisted away from him, hands covering Kevin’s, stilling them. "When we danced, but you got mad."

With this shock added to his already unsteady emotional state, Kevin actually took his hands away from AJ’s and backed up like he was threatened.

He couldn’t say anything.

"I thought you’d like it. But you got mad," AJ said quietly. "Then I didn’t want to say anything, but you kept taking care of me and I woke up with you this morning...’

"I always take care of you," Kevin said automatically. "You don’t owe me anything for it."

"It’s not like that!" AJ shouted. Spikes immediately shot through his skin. He stood, swaying, and dripping blood on the soft thick carpet.

"You – you don’t know what you’re saying," Kevin protested, hearing the desperation in his own voice. "I, I take care of you –"

"If you don’t want me, just say so!" AJ was gaining strength and the spikes were everywhere again. "Look at me, Kevin! LOOK AT ME! I’m a fuckin’ monster! Nobody else can even touch me!"

He sat suddenly on the floor, sprawled, not crying, but angry.

"*Look*!" With his legs spread wide he poked at his genitals. "I’ve got fucking *spikes* around my balls!"

"They go away," Kevin said faintly. "Aje, they go away."

"What if they don’t? And they always come back... Kevin, you’re the only one that even wants to get close..."

"You’re not a monster, AJ, unless I am."

"I’m not gonna ask for anything you can’t give, Kev." Getting back up, AJ bent over to slip off the fragments of shorts, then tested the water. "But maybe it’s time I learn to deal with this on my own."

"You shouldn’t have to. No one should have to. That’s what I’m here for."

"Go on, Train. I’ve got it. You’ve got other important things to do." AJ gave him a flat, serious look.

Not understanding what was going on, Kevin nodded, and left, shutting the doors behind him. "Call if you need anything?" he asked through them.

"Yeah, ‘kay."

When he turned around, Heidi was in the bedroom doorway.

"It’s started. You may want to come watch a minute."

"I don’t think I can."

"Train, this is important. You’re team leader. This is your job."

"Okay," he sighed. He felt heavy and thick. Like the air had turned to molasses on a Kentucky winter day.

She led him back to the main entertainment area, where everyone was standing, looking stiff and angry.

More reporters, more bland faces that Kevin felt were secretly laughing at him.

"We have a prepared statement from the Committee, and then a brief interview

with the leader of the second-generation National Hero Team, NSNC and Scoop."

"The statement is very short. I’ll read: We cannot tolerate a meta-powered team

abandoning the principals our country stands for and taking the law into their own

hands, ignoring contracted obligations and debts owed. We believe several members

of the team to be unduly influenced by others who should be and will be considered

a danger to the American people. "

"Here’s Scoop, of NSNC, to comment on his team’s role in capturing the escaped

super powers."

Lance’s face, tight with anger, was onscreen, but he seemed to be trying to avoid the reporters that crowded him.

"We’ll do what we’re trained to do, and bring everyone in safely! That’s all I have to

say, no more, no comment, no comment!"

"He didn’t look happy." Brian observed dryly.

"Do any of us?" Howie was at Nick’s side, comforting the teen.

"They can’t make us go back, can they? Train, can they?"

Kevin looked to Tony who shook his head.

"No. We’re not slaves, Nikky. They don’t own us."

"This is just a public relations ploy, guys." Tony said. "I’ve already got a team putting together a response. There will be an exclusive article in the Times tomorrow detailing your living situations, your schedules and the demands made on you, as well as the perceived threats to the physical safety of Train and B-Rok and Bone. If that doesn’t sway people our way, I know it will impress the judge that’s going to be hearing the case next week."

"We have to go to court?!" Nikky sounded terrified.

"Only to establish that your contracts were civilian and not military," Tony soothed. "You were never sworn in or assigned a rank."

"Except as a position on the team..." Brian seemed hesitant. "Isn’t there a way to do this without a judge deciding?"

"Not unless you want to trust the Committee to admit it."

A loud sound came from the bedroom. Kevin turned, but Brain was already past him.

"I’ll take care of it."

"Yeah," Kevin said, thinking about the strange conversation he’d just had with AJ and how nothing really got said. "You should. Just don’t let him hurt you."

"What about us?" Nick watched as Tony turned off the TV. "What should we do?"

"I’m thinking a workout is in order. Something low-key, so it’s not noticed. But we need to move a bit."

"This is still what we do," Howie told him. "Isn’t it?"

"I guess so."

"Then let’s get out there and do something."

He tried to put Brian and Bone out of his mind. D and Kaos deserved his attention. If he was going to be team trainer as well as team leader from now on, he had to get used to this, and coming up with things to do. Not that they hadn’t all had ideas over the years...

Safely screened by mature trees the developers must have left when they built, he faced off against his friends. He had an idea he wanted to try, now that they had the chance. It wasn’t something he’d ever suggested before because if it worked, they really didn’t want the government to know.

"Okay, D - you stay by Nick and see if you can keep his power from working. Nick, focus on me and try to mess me up as I come at you, okay?"

"Use my power on you?! I’m not supposed to use it on people!"

"It’s okay, I don’t think you can hurt me, and I’m betting Sweet D can affect you so strongly it won’t work anyhow. I’m serious, Kaos, this is something we need to know. It could be important later."

He looked seriously doubtful, but nodded.

"I’m gonna start over there –" Train pointed to the far side of the large yard. "Give me two minutes and then start, okay?" He wouldn’t get far in two minutes.

In fact, just walking it took him nearly ten to get over to the other side. He missed being fast. Missed the rush of wind not accompanied by the thump and creak of his movement.

Howie took a position not far from Nick, who still looked unsure. Straightening and deliberately turning on the ‘looming’ effect he kept off most of the time – he didn’t like scaring people, really he didn’t – he faced them.

Nicky looked scared.

No, he corrected himself in his head. *Kaos* looked scared. Nicky wasn’t the person facing him. Kaos had years of experience. If Kaos got scared, he would deal with it. Without showing it. And his opponent would never know.

"Countdown," he shouted. Bellowed. Sweet D and Kaos snapped to defensive positions. It was the traditional start to a practice session. "5! 4!"

"Guys! Train!" Someone tried to interrupt from the back door, but they wouldn’t stop. That was against the rules.

"3! 2! - 1!" Train started his run. "Go," he whispered to himself.

Kaos began to dance. Smoothly and with talent, like someone on stage. Train let himself enjoy the site for 30 seconds before rejecting it. For the moment, Kaos was the enemy.

He felt the effect ten seconds later; the ground seemed to soften beneath his feet, grabbing at him, slowing him down... he staggered and struggled to stay upright. To keep going was out of the question.

It was too bad he was too busy fighting the ground to see what D did, but the ground didn’t get firm again. It didn’t get softer, either, and he was able to start forward again, turning his attention back to the two as soon as he realized he was no longer in danger of sinking.

The dancing seemed more languid now, more fluid. Almost like he was sleepy or drunk. Sweet D had his head down, staring at the ground, hands clenched at his sides. As Train freed himself from the quicksoil, he was able to gain speed again, though he had to start slowing down soon after, since he really didn’t want to run them both over.

He plowed to a stop and looked back with a wince; they’d torn up a goodly chunk of Tony and Page’s yard.

"Good job, D!" he said cheerfully.

"Train!" Brian shouted from the door again.

"How’d that feel, Kaos?" he asked the teen seriously. "Did you really notice it, or was it more like, I don’t know..."

"Kinda dreamy," Nick answered with a shrug and an embarrassed grin. "Like I was dancing and dozing off at the same time..."

"Train!" Brain sounded angry now. He was coming toward them.

"Did you mean to make the ground soft or did it just happen?"

"Just happened. I thought about slowing you down..."

"It worked great. Try to remember that one."

"Kevin, dammit." Brain was at his side, fuming.

"You know I couldn’t stop a session, Rok."

"AJ needs you. He won’t come out of the bathroom until you come."

Suddenly worried again, the successful session forgotten, Kevin turned back to the others.

"Sorry, guys, I -"

"Go already," Howie said. "We’ll work with Rok a while."

Without another word Kevin ran back to the house, avoiding the softened patch of ground. He wasn’t ready for another confrontation with Bone, but if he was needed, he would be there. It was weird, though; twenty minutes ago Bone hadn’t wanted anything to do with him, now he was pulling this stunt.

"Bone?" He knocked on the door carefully, not wanting to break it down. "Bone, it’s me. It’s Train."

"I don’t wanna talk to him."

"Bone! Brian said you wouldn’t come out until I came to get you. I’m here - what do you want?"

"I wanna talk to Kevin. Train hasn’t been so nice to me lately."

"Dammit, AJ! You know we’re the same person. I’m not some schizoid superfreak that gets mixed up about who he is."

"Kevin wouldn’t have treated me the way you have."

"I haven’t done anything to hurt you, Aje." Kevin leaned his head on the door, breathing out a deep sigh. "Come out and we’ll talk about it, okay?"

"Nah, you haven’t hurt me..." The door opened and Bone glared at him, but Kevin was quick to notice signs of crying. "You just let me get so close and no closer. I’m not good enough for you? You think you can get somebody, what? Younger? Cuter? Less prone to growing spikes all over their body in a bloody fucking mess?"

"No!" Kevin shouted back. "But, shit, you *can* do better, Aje! You’re cute and smart and sexy as hell – you don’t need to get stuck with somebody like me just because your power’s screwed up!"

"Someone like you?" AJ asked quietly, taking a step forward. Kevin took a step back. Then AJ looked past him and spoke to someone behind Kevin. "See what he thinks of himself? Ask him if he ever thinks someone will love him. *Ask* him if he thinks he’s going to be alone for the rest of his life."

"Who -?" Twisting his head, Kevin saw Brian, his eyes large and sad-looking, backing out of the room. "What? Bone, why’d you tell him something like that? You know he doesn’t want to think about me and what I –" the truth of AJ’s words hit hard and bit deep. " – what I can’t have."

Okay, so everything Bone had said was true. Kevin already knew all those things. It didn’t change anything.

"But you can. If you just let yourself." AJ moved closer, one hand on Kevin’s arm. He looked up, not realizing he’d sat down, on the carpet.

"It’s - it’s not right. I’ve known you since you were a kid, Aje. I can’t -"

AJ was on the floor in front of him, a hand on both arms now.

"I’m all grown up, Kevin. You did a good job. Now it’s my turn to help you."

He leaned in and pressed his mouth to Kevin’s, eyes closed.

"No...," Kevin pushed him away gently. "Not just for me, Aje. It can’t work that way. You know I’m right about this." And he would deal with the pain of this conversation later. Much, much later. When he was all alone...

"You’re an idiot, Kevin." AJ pushed close again, this time getting between Kevin’s knees and grabbing his shoulders. "I haven’t been able to touch anyone, not like this, not in years, man. You think I don’t want you?" He wriggled closer until Kevin could feel the heat of an erection on his stomach. "I know you think you’re just big and clumsy, but I think you’re handsome. Your eyes are so green - and I always know that no matter how bad things get I can look in your eyes and never see disgust or loathing. You worry about me, sure, but you’re never afraid to touch me."

"I don’t know what to say."

"Tell me the truth, big guy. You want this?" More wriggling and Kevin had a lapful of mostly-naked damp teammate. Completely spike-free. He tried to look anywhere but at the guy he was holding.

"I’m not supposed to want *you*. You’re young and beautiful and...straight."

"I can get pretty bent sometimes, Kevin. You know that."

"AJ -" Kevin looked at him now, and tried to really see him. To see why he would be saying things like this.

Eyes slightly swollen, skin still bruised beneath. But bright and open. Accepting. Ready for anything Kevin was willing to give him.

"Yes?"

"Come here."

"You’re sure?" For a second AJ looked way too young and Kevin felt like a pervert for even thinking what he was thinking he might allow himself to think. He gave a weak laugh and pulled his friend closer, up against his chest.

"I’m too stunned to be sure. But, yeah, Aje. If you want me, I’m yours for the taking."

"Whoa, let’s slow down a little bit there, big guy. Can we save the talk about ‘taking’ and decide who’s gonna do what to who a little later? Like when we’re not fugitives?" In direct contrast to his words AJ squirmed against Kevin, his arms around the thick neck.

"I’m not going to push, you know." It was important that AJ understand this. "I’ve gone without a long time, there’s no reason this can’t be enough."

"Get over yourself, Kev. If you think this is going to be some sort of platonic romance you better think again."

His mouth came down again, and this time there was wetness and tongue. Kevin groaned but didn’t let his hands tighten the way he wanted to.

Oh, he liked kissing. He missed it sometimes so much. The nearness, the taste and smell of another man in his arms.

"There’s no reason to rush, either," he said softly when AJ finally pulled away with a wet popping sound. "You still tired?"

"I think I got enough sleep..." Kevin watched as AJ got the gist of the question. "You know, I think I could use a nap. Someplace private and horizontal."

"I could do horizontal," Kevin agreed. He shifted his legs under him, getting an arm under AJ, and stood abruptly.

"Kev!" AJ yelped, grabbing on with both hands. "This is really high up."

"Like I’ve never carried you before," Kevin snorted, leaning to nuzzle in the thick short hair. He didn’t feel a single spike. With one arm under AJ’s ass he used the other to open the bedroom door. The one he had seen open when Brian was looking in on them.

AJ wrapped a leg around his waist and leaned into the carry, his head bobbing slowly on Kevin’s shoulder as they walked.

"Do you have any idea where we’re going?"

"I’m sure there’s a an empty bedroom in here someplace," Kevin said, cutting through the kitchen to avoid the main living areas. Only to find Heidi standing in the back hallway, arms full of linens.

"We’ve set up a place for you, Kevin," she said, her face stern. "You need more rest after this last week."

"Huh? Heidi, I’m fine."

"You were almost kidnaped and carried off to a mad scientist’s lab," AJ corrected. "Plus taking care of me twenty-four-seven."

"I had a lot of help taking care of you," Kevin protested.

"Not anymore. From now on, you’re my preferred caretaker." AJ tipped his head back to press his lips to Kevin’s neck. "As long as you’re with me, Kevin, I’ll be fine."

"Don’t think that," Kevin muttered, watching Heidi go into a bedroom and come back out with empty arms. "You can’t count on me to keep stuff from happening – I’m not that -"

"Not that strong? You’re the strongest man on Earth, Train. I know bad things’ll still happen, but I’ll have you with me to help me through them."

"Can we not talk about this right now?" Kevin asked plaintively, walking into the room and sucking in a deep breath.

There were two thick mattresses on the floor, pushed together to make one bed long enough and just wide enough for him to sleep comfortably. There was even enough room for one more person. Made up with two comforters clearly sewn together, stacked with loads of pillows, it was the most comfortable-looking bed he’d seen in ages.

"Yeah, man. Sorry." AJ looked over the bed too. A shadow crossed his eyes.

"What is it?" Kevin put him on the floor before beginning the slow process of getting out of his uniform.

"They went to a lot of trouble to make you a nice bed. Maybe I shouldn’t sleep in it – I’m just gonna tear up the sheets and stuff."

"We can find a way around that." Reaching out, dazed by the strength of the emotions in himself, Kevin tipped AJ’s chin up with one hand. "If you want, Aje. Only if you want to."

His friend caught the hand and turned it over to press a kiss to the palm. Kevin barely felt it, but the gesture moved him. Still wearing his leather trousers, he sat on the bed and lay back, sighing. The pillows offered support to his head, taking the burden from his aching neck.

AJ stood and watched him. Kevin let his eyes slip closed. He hadn’t realized how tired he still was. Emotional scenes drained him.

When he finally noticed AJ hadn’t joined him he opened his eyes and stared.

"It’s okay to change your mind." He knew only too well what he looked like. Handsome maybe, not that he thought so, but still – huge. Enormous, his shoulders the width of a double mattress, his legs thick and heavy.

"I’m not changing my mind. I’m wondering why it took me so long to just ask." AJ walked to the foot of the bed and sat down. "I knew about you but I never thought about it until it started to get bad. The way you held me, the way you bathed me and took care of me – I didn’t realize how you felt."

"I didn’t admit it to myself. All along Brian was right," he sighed. "I don’t think that’s going to be any comfort to him."

"Fuck Brian. He’s got the chance for a normal life. We don’t. If we can have something between us, then we deserve it, as much as he deserves his."

The vehemence startled Kevin and he reached for AJ, wanting to touch him. To calm him down before he spiked.

"Hey, it’s okay. He can be mad at me, it’s not going to change my mind. Only you can do that, okay? Come up here and let me hold you the way I want to. The way I’ve wanted to for months."

"Really?" AJ asked, his anger dissolving in front of Kevin’s earnestness. Their hands met, Kevin’s closed and pulled. Not too hard, he didn’t want to dislocate AJ’s shoulder or anything.

AJ sprawled on top of him, shifting until he was where he wanted to be; eye-to-eye with Kevin, whose hands stayed on AJ’s back until he was still.

"Really," Kevin whispered, suddenly aware that the light in the room only came from a shaded window. It was dimming fast. He slid a hand up to the back of AJ’s head, cupping the whole of it, and brought their mouths together for another kiss. For as many as he could get. He hadn’t been lying when he told that cowboy he liked kissing. More truthful to say he loved it. He could still remember the first girl he’d kissed in high school; the awkwardness of it, and the pull that settled in his groin during it.

Tonight that pull was the strongest it had ever been, and he ignored it.

All he wanted to do was lie here, in the nifty bed his friends had made for him, and kiss AJ, as long and hard as possible. It seemed AJ had the same idea, because he didn’t try to push things further. He just kissed Kevin back like they were the only two people in the world.

Kevin wasn’t sure, but he thought he cried a little before they fell asleep, exhaustion catching them again.

***

"Should we wake them?"

"They look really tired."

"He hasn’t looked happy in so long."

The words washed over Kevin, dreamy and not quite real. He shifted slightly, the mattress under him giving comfortably, and wrapped his arm tighter around the smaller body on his chest. It was warm and smelled good... he tilted his head and found a piece of skin close enough to kiss, so he did. With his lips pressed to warm, salty skin, he mumbled something like go away.

"Kevin..." Nick’s voice, teasing him. "Ke-vin..."

"I’d rather let them sleep, but this is important," Heidi’s voice, and she didn’t sound happy. Reluctantly Kevin forced his eyes open. He stared at the trio in the doorway, vision partially blocked by AJ’s messy hair.

His boyfriend slept on, limp weight and smooth skin, balanced securely on top of him.

"What?" he mouthed, no sound coming out. Heidi came closer, her heels sinking into the carpet and not making a sound.

"They’re sending NSNC – if you make any public appearance they’re going to show up and arrest you."

"As if," Nick snorted from the doorway.

Howie stayed silent, but Kevin could feel the subtle influence of his power. He grinned and shifted, rolling to his side, taking AJ with him. The blanket was big enough that it didn’t slip off. He remembered that AJ was naked; a flush ran through him.

"Do you need me for anything right this minute?" he asked, willing to play hooky for just a little longer. The curtains were drawn so he couldn’t see if it was dark out. "Nicky, shouldn’t you be in bed?"

"It’s not even seven, Train." He got a disgusted look for that. "Heidi’s gonna take us out to eat. Me an’ Howie. Brian doesn’t wanna go."

Brian is not my problem, Kevin told himself sternly. Brian is not my problem. He knew, deep in his heart, that his attention needed to be directed toward AJ right now. If they were going to have a chance of building a relationship, for as long as it might last, AJ deserved that level of attention now.

"Bring us back something?" AJ was starting to move under the comforter, sliding against Kevin, his breath hot on his skin. He nuzzled into his chest and Kevin had to hold his breath for a minute.

"Pizza or burgers?" Heidi asked. She was smiling gently, it looked like she was really happy with this development.

He shrugged and the comforter slipped, showing AJ’s head.

"Just lots of it, whatever it is."

"Of course," The smile grew wider. "We’ll knock before we bring it in."

Kevin blinked, and blushed. He felt his face heat and had to fight not to hide it.

"Get out of here," he fussed. "Nick, be careful. No dancing in public." They hadn’t had much experience being out on their own. "It might be okay to use a payphone to call Aaron."

"Really?" he looked delighted with the suggestion.

"Just don’t give anything away. His phone is probably tapped."

That subdued him more quickly that Kevin had intended, but he didn’t get the chance to say anything else as Heidi hurried them out, giving him a last smile and shutting the door.

Kevin stretched a little, then curled up more closely around AJ. He noted that his body could completely surround the younger man’s. That was more arousing that he’d expected. He moved to keep his growing erection away from him, not wanting to frighten him or put him off. It was one thing to think about sex with another man, another to do it, and as far as he knew AJ hadn’t done more than think.

"Don’t," AJ’s whisper was quiet. His hands found Kevin’s arms and squeezed them. "It’s okay. I kinda of expected it, y’know."

"Don’t want to push you," Kevin whispered back, his hands settling on AJ’s back, safely above anything tempting. "Want to go slow."

"How long have you been waiting for this, huh?" AJ’s hands were not staying in safe areas. They found the erection and mapped it slowly, making Kevin close his eyes and try to control his breathing. "Forever? You’ve wanted to be in love as long as I’ve known you, Kevin. Go ahead and let yourself go. I’m not gonna leave you."

"AJ..." Kevin breathed, pulling him closer, finding his mouth. "I want to...I want to.."

"What do you want, Kevin?" AJ kissed him, open-mouthed, hands moving surely. His skin was flushed, slightly sweaty. Kevin licked it, from his chin down his neck to his shoulder. "D’ya want to fall in love with me? Want to make love to me?"

"Wanna taste you," Kevin heard himself rumble thickly. "Want to touch all of you."

"Go ahead," AJ urged, letting Kevin roll them all the way over and straddle him, the comforter falling to Kevin’s hip. "You can do all of it, Kevin. I’ll be right here with you."

"AJ... Aje..." Kevin’s lips found a nipple, the skin around it blessedly smooth and spike-free. He suckled, a sense of contentment washing through him. His cock was happily nestled against AJ’s leg, AJ’s hands were stroking his back, dipping down to rub his ass. Kevin groaned and pushed harder against him. Not too hard, he knew exactly how much pressure he could use. All the years of training were good for something besides beating people up.

"God, you’re big," AJ told him, hands gripping his ass and pulling him closer. "I imagined what it would be like, with you over me like this, but it’s so much more."

"It’s okay?" Raising up on his arms, Kevin looked down at him. "You don’t mind?"

"Mind, hell, I love it! Nothing can get to me as long as I’m with you, Kevin. I like your big ass."

Unsure again, Kevin held himself away for a minute. "You’re not gay, Aje."

"I’ve been with a couple of guys, if that’s what you need to know." Hands urged him down again. "Nothing serious, just playing, but I know what to expect. And I love you, Kevin. You’ll never hurt me."

There wasn’t any doubt in Kevin’s mind on that score. He knew he wouldn’t. He’d never let himself.

"Now get down here and let’s fool around," AJ said, half-scolding. "It’s been a while for me, too, y’know."

"What do you want?" Kevin asked, settling more of his weight down this time. "What do you want me to do?"

"That tasting thing sounded promising...unh..." AJ moaned as Kevin took him at his word, licking a path down his flat, hard stomach to nuzzle in thick wiry hair.

His nose bumped AJ’s cock. It was heavy and hard, standing at an angle to his body. Thrilled to see this evidence he was wanted, Kevin licked it carefully, bottom to tip, and sucked on the head briefly. AJ’s moans were music to his ears. Lying all the way down, with his head propped on one hand, he slowly took the whole thing into his mouth, sucking gently. AJ twitched and thrust, moans rising. Kevin was so hard – he couldn’t remember feeling this way before. It was like his body knew it was going to go all the way this time.

He slid his free hand down to circle his own cock, rubbing it roughly. It was the only way he could really feel it, even there. He hadn’t even masturbated in months, afraid of being monitored or even taped. It only took a few pulls and he was on the edge.

"AJ," he gasped, pulling his mouth away long enough to look up at him. "AJ."

"Keeeevin, don’t leave me hanging!" The younger man took his head in both hands and stared down at him. His eyes were wide and dark, dilated with pleasure. "I won’t think less of you, I promise. This won’t be the only time we do this and I’m never gonna leave you. Okay?"

"Okay," Kevin agreed, breath hard to catch. He lowered his head to the unfinished business, sucking more strongly, saliva dripping at the corners of his mouth. The taste and texture were almost enough to push him over the edge, but when AJ gasped his name that way, and the cock in his mouth grew harder, he couldn’t stop. His stomach lurched and then tightened, his hand holding himself as he spurted helplessly, moaning around AJ’s dick in his mouth. AJ grabbed him again, thrust a few times, Kevin accepting it gladly, then AJ came in his throat, Kevin swallowing as fast as he could.

He lay, feeling lighter, for long minutes, his big head pillowed on AJ’s hip, which wasn’t particularly soft, but felt more like he belonged.

He felt more human than he had in months.

He became aware of AJ’s hands tugging at him, and managed to crawl upwards far enough to reach his mouth. With his head on AJ’s chest, tipped back to be kissed, he felt safer and more complete than he could remember since he first changed.

It was the first time he could remember anyone else holding him. The night he came out to his parents and brothers they’d patted his back and hugged him, but no one had *held* him. He’d cried alone.

There were tears in his eyes now, but he hardly noticed them. He opened his mouth, but didn’t know what he wanted to say. No words seemed like enough.

"You’re just a big mushball, Train," AJ teased sweetly as he kissed him, soft presses of warm lips. "I’m gonna tell everybody."

"Like they don’t already know," he managed to whisper.

"Are you gonna cry?" AJ looked interested and unconcerned. "It’s okay if you do. Someday I might too."

"Nah, not this time," Kevin raised a hand, surprised to see it was shaking, and wiped his eyes with a corner of the comforter. "This is only the warmup, after all."

"Yeah, only the warmup," AJ smiled at him and Kevin was struck by how young he looked. Without the spikes and blood, he looked even younger than 19. He was so small, compared to Kevin...

A knock at the door interrupted that line of thought. He flipped the comforter over them, it was cool enough in the room to be comfortable, and looked at the door expectantly.

(concluded in part three)

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