Sweet Memory Will Die
---------------------
Part 1
It had almost been a week since he'd been to the
hospital. Trying not to think of where James might be, Blair
couldn't help but wonder how long these missions usually lasted.
And if he was really okay.
He didn't know how many times he'd stopped himself from
calling the base for information, but he'd stopped counting after
a dozen or so. And that had been three days ago.
But ever since Doc Ross had told him that the legal
age of consent in Oklahoma was 17, he'd wanted nothing more than
to launch himself at the older man. But carefully, of course.
The feelings running through him were new, certainly, but
also exciting and a little frightening. He didn't want to be
going through this alone.
An almost-accident driving home from the hospital was proof
positive that he was stressed, but each successive day with no
news from James had found him a little less excited and a little
more worried.
How long was James going to be gone?
What if he never came back?
{Shit. Don't even think that.}
***
Blair was pretending to read a book, he wasn't sure
who he was trying to fool, but he certainly wasn't fooling
himself, when he heard the key in the door.
Sitting up, eyes fixed on the door, he let the text on Mayan
ritual practices slipping from suddenly nervous fingers.
Exhausted down to the last hair on his head, James pushed
through the door. He could hear the beer in the fridge calling
his name.
Off the couch in less than a second, the younger man hit James
like a small freight train, his arms slinging around his waist as
he held onto him too-tightly.
Landing back against the door with a loud thump, James'
arms came up automatically to circle the lithe body. He slid
slowly downwards, not even the door offering enough support for
him to regain his balance.
With a delighted laugh Blair followed, landing on his
hands-and-knees over the solid body.
"Welcome home!" he giggled.
And, while James was still staring at him, Blair kissed him
hard. Open-mouthed and hungry.
It wasn't something he'd exactly planned to do it, but,
*damn*, it felt right.
Surprised, tired, and needy, James' body overturned his
mind's ruling. Arms encircling the small body over his, mouth
opening to accept the questing tongue, he kissed Blair back.
Startled and excited and a little nervous, Blair opened his
mouth further and let James invade it with his tongue, marvelling
at the sensation. He kept his elbows locked to keep some room
between them and his hair hung around their faces like a draped
scarf.
Losing himself in the taste of the younger man, James'
hands slipped down to cup his ass and bring their hips together.
The feeling of his cock against Blair's groin slammed reality
back into him.
He quickly rolled them over and rose to his knees,
hands holding Blair's arms at his sides.
"Christ, kid! I thought we talked about this!"
Panting harshly, he glared down at the young man trapped
beneath him.
Lying still, Blair couldn't help a small wiggle as he
replied, in a small voice;
"But it's okay, James. Doc Ross said that seventeen
is legal here. And the base restrictions don't really apply, do
they?"
"Doc Ross... 17..." James stoop abruptly and wearily made his
way to the couch. {what the hell is going on here? I go away
for a week and a half and I come back to Alice in Wonderland.}
"Beer first, explanations second." He looked up at Blair
expectantly from his seat on the couch.
The kid looked worried. Scared, too. But before James had a
chance to comment on it he had turned and jogged into the
kitchen, returning with the requested brew and handing it to the
older man.
He took the armchair, didn't join James on the couch.
James could see the wheels turning in his head.
{That was stupid.} resting his elbows on his knees and his
face in his palms, Blair let his hair hide him from James'
eyes. {So *incredibly* stupid. Sure, you know you're
falling in love with the guy..} he swallowed, mouth suddenly
dry, {But that doesn't mean you're ready to jump his bones.}
Taking a long swig from his beer, James leaned back into
the couch and sighed.
His body was tired and aching, he had a splitting
headache, and the debriefing had been hell. And despite all that
he could feel his body throbbing where it had been in contact
with that sweet young lithe body.
Opening his eyes at the thought.
"What were you talking about, Doctor Ross and it being okay
'cause your seventeen. When did you see the doc?"
Then he winced as he heard himself inside his head. The kid
was sitting over there hurting and this...interrogation was the
best that he could do.
{Get over yourself.}
He lifted an arm and tactlessly patted Blair on the back,
reaching across the narrow space between them awkwardly.
{Great, now I'm treating him like the family dog.}
Blair shrugged off the arm, feeling mildly offended. He
didn't look up when he replied shortly.
"I went back for a check-up last week." he seemed about to
say something else, but clamped his mouth shut, the full lips
pressed into a tight line.
"Shit Blair, I'm sorry.
The words sounding lame, even in his own ears. His laughter
barked out around them, it wasn't a happy sound.
"Seems all I'm doing lately is apologizing to you. I've just
never been good at all this...you know, emotional stuff." He
paused, looking over at Blair for some sign that he was on the
right track.
Both slender hands came up and rubbed briskly at the angled
face, still hidden by the hair.
"I guess I shouldn't've sprung it on you like that. I was
just so happy to see you...to know for sure that you're okay..."
He sighed deeply, then took a deep breath and held it
for a second before letting it out slowly.
"It's okay, man."
But he still didn't look at James.
Sighing, James tried to sort out the thoughts running through
his mind. He ruthlessly shoved aside the one that urged him to
throw Blair down to the ground and nail him to the carpet. Not
that he'd ever done that to a man before, he just knew he would
know how. Some things came naturally.
(Like feeling this way about him. There's nothing perverse
or disgusting about it. It feels natural.}
Taking another long swig of his ale, he decided to deal
with the technical details first.
"What's all this about 17 being okay?"
Finally the kid looked at him. His eyes were suspiciously
shining, but he seemed okay. Although his hands were moving
restlessly across his legs.
"Dr. Ross told me. Seventeen is legal age in Oklahoma,
for everything except drinking. He said that there wasn't any
legal reason for you to push me away."
Those weren't the exact words the pediatrician had
used, but close enough for government work.
Looking at his lap again, the kid got quieter. "I
just really like you, James."
There was a brief pause and then more soft words. "I've
never liked anybody the way I like you."
James felt his stomach drop away. Despite the law, he was
still 10 years older than Blair. As the elder of the two, he
really should take responsibility and look out for Blair's best
interests.
But he didn't even try to stop his reply:
"I've never like anyone the way I like you either, kid."
Taking the younger man's face in one hand he tilted it up to look
into his eyes. "I really didn't know the law in Oklahoma said 17.
But...I - I probably should still send you back to school
before this goes any further."
Leaning into the light pressure of James' fingers,
Blair stared at him. The liquid hurt in his eyes seemed to
overflow.
"I *am* ten years older than you...But so help me, I don't
think I can."
"It's more than liking you, James." Blair whispered.
"I..I..." he was unable to finish the sentence.
"Sh. It's okay. I...I know..." James ended in a whisper.
{It's true, I do. I think I have since the day I met him.}
Leaning forward, he slipped to his knees in front of Blair.
Bringing up his other hand and cupping the handsome face in front
of him, he leaned slowly in, taking his time.
His lids fell just as his lips touched Blair's.
The kiss stared out gently, tender and caring, solicitous.
It rapidly exploded.
And he found himself trying to devour the younger man's
mouth from the inside out.
{Oh god oh god.}
Shocked by the strength of the feelings rushing through
himself just from a *kiss*, Blair trembled bodily. His hands
sought purchase and he clenched them on James' shoulders and held
to him like an anchor.
A low, half-frightened moan worked it's way up from
his throat and spilled into James' mouth as he practically
dislocated his jaw to get it wide enough to satisfy the older
man.
The sound penetrated James' lust-crazed mind and he
pulled away with a gasp.
"Oh *god*." he moaned, leaning his forehead against
Blair's. He peppered Blair's face with gentle suckling kisses
before managing to connect the sound with the appropriate
emotion. "Are you okay?" sitting back on his heels to move
himself away from the sweet temptation of those passion-bruised
lips.
Then he smiled as he noted Blair's gaze. Slowly, the older
man licked his lips, leaving his the tip of his tongue resting
against his top lip.
Running his hands down Blair's back, he lightly grasped
the younger man's waist and pulled him off the chair to kneel
with him.
"You're okay, right?" the words were breathed into the
kid's mouth as he leaned in for another kiss.
Less frantic, the hunger banked somewhat, this kiss was
a long leisurely exploration of the other's man mouth. Pulling
the lithe body in front of him closer, which left them touching
from shoulder to knee.
Trying to relax, knowing deep in his heart that this
was what he wanted, Blair tried to relax into the embrace. The
hard evidence of James' arousal pressing into his stomach made
that a little difficult, but the deep hot kiss, a gentle contrast
to the last one, made it easier.
Heat seemed to emanate from the larger man and he found
himself moving even closer, putting his arms around the him and
holding him in an intimate embrace.
It felt strange...but so good.
Still somewhat frightened by the intensity of what he was
feeling, he knew he could hang onto James until the fear faded.
He could hang onto James and kiss him and rub his back and
just feel him for the first time. Feel this good for the first
time.
Feeling the younger man sinking into him, James ran his
hands down the sinewy back. He could feel the muscles there a
testament to the long-ago years of daily training.
Moving his hands down further, he cupped Blair's ass and
pulled him tightly against his straining erection. Grinding his
hips into the younger man's he began a rocking motion as his kiss
became carnivorous once again.
Blair withstood it for several minutes, but then it was too
much. He tore his mouth away from James' and his hands spasmed on
the broad back as he gasped.
"Sss...slow *down*..." Shivering, the teenager froze, not
knowing what to do.
"Christ." Standing abruptly, James swayed as a tired wave of
dizziness flowed through him. "Shit, kid. I'm sorry. I
just....you..."
He searched his tired brain for the right words.
"You just feel so good. And it's been so long since I've
felt anything this good..." Leaning down he offered the young man
his hand and pulled him up to his feet.
Hugged him tightly for a moment before stepping
back, still swaying slightly. His voice was soft, a caress.
"I know I came on too strong. I know from what you've told
me you haven't had too many lovers, and I'm guessing I'm your
first guy. I didn't mean to scare you."
He took Blair's hand in his, not yet willing to completely
sever the closeness.
The teenager swayed like a young tree in a breeze.
His hair was more disheveled than usual and his eyes
gleamed. James could hear the racing of his heart and almost
taste the stench of his arousal.
Which made the next words so much more shocking.
In a whisper that no normal man could have heard, Blair
confessed the truth, terrified that James would hear it and
reject him.
"First person."
"Hmmmm?" James' free hand moved up to gently tangle in
the curls, fascinated by them. His eyes locked onto Blair's
mouth. "What was that?"
He sounded distracted, like the words were secondary to
the feelings coursing through his body. Despite his fatigue he
*wanted* this *man*.
Blair shuffled a half-step closer, and closed his eyes, very
slowly rubbing his head on the grasping hand. James imagined he
could hear him purring.
"You'll be the first person." he repeated, no louder
than before. The fading adrenaline rush had left him tired and
James' warm presence and current gentleness soothed him. He
wasn't as afraid when he said it this time.
"The first person?" James felt like he was missing something
here, something important, but he couldn't get his mind to wrap
around it. "The first person to what?"
"Hmm?"
Opening his eyes again, Blair stared at James sleepily.
"It's been a long night, man. You wanna crash?" He took
another two steps and leaned into James' chest, cuddling close.
This part didn't frighten him. It made him feel warm and safe and
loved.
As long as he had that, he knew the rest would come.
The bad pun drew a sleepy giggle.
"Bed never sounded so good."
Putting an arm around the kid's shoulders James turned them
towards the stairs. Stopping as his foot hit the first one he
gazed down at his companion.
"You are coming up, aren't you? Cause if you're not, I'll
sleep on the couch with you."
"I..." waking slightly, Blair stammered nervously, pulling
back slightly. "I'd like to sleep....in your bed, James." it was
obvious he was anxious about it, but he sounded determined.
Grinning tiredly, James joked "Well, I didn't mean for you to
take the tub."
Blair smiled timidly back at him.
Pulling the young man close to his side, James ushered his
soon-to-be lover up into his room
***
Waking, disturbed by the even breathing by his side, where
there was most often silence, it took James a couple of moments
to orient himself.
They were on a jump into ... no wait, they were back.
He was home.
In his bed.
With Blair.
Looking over at the little ball of heat, James felt a rush of
tenderness.
He reached over and gently ran his hand along the soft-rough
cheek. The morning stubble contrasted sharply with the silky
skin above it.
The face beneath his hand turned, with a sigh, and the kid
slung an arm over his chest before settling in closer to him.
Suddenly wanting to do more than just softly touch, but
not wanting to do it while the other man slept, James leaned
forward and placed a gentle kiss on the oh-so-tempting lips
Getting no more response than his touch had, James deepened the
kiss, his tongue stealing across parted lips while his hand raked
down his back, the thin t-shirt doing little to disguise the heat
of the body curled into his.
With a deeper sigh those lips opened and the body shivered
once, a velvety tongue coming to meet his own tentatively.
"Blair..." the name was soft on his lips, both affirming
and questioning. He wanted the young man *awake* for their
lovemaking.
"James." the lips pulled back and round blue eyes stared at
him from an inch away. The hand on his chest spread and then
tightened. "James?"
"Yeah. I'm here." Smiling as he spoke, his hand once again
caressed the soft face.
"Yeah, I, uhu, I can see that." a small voice. The return of
last night's anxiety?
"You are the most beautiful creature." James' voice was calm,
reverent. "Like a butterfly I can't quite believe has deigned to
light upon my hand." James wasn't sure what possessed him to say
the words, he only knew he wanted to. Wanted to somehow express
how wondrous it was to him that this exotic creature wanted to be
with *him*.
Leaning forward again, James captured Blair's lips and began
a gentle exploration. As his cock hardened, so did his kiss.
After a few seconds the kid pulled back.
He was breathing hard, but looked more frightened than
excited.
James' body followed his, but something in the look rang a
bell at the back of his brain, and he backed off slightly to get
a better look.
"Blair...Last night, you said..."
Those blue eyes were as big and round as any he'd ever seen.
Bigger.
"You said I would be the 'first person', what exactly did
you mean by that?" James had a pretty good idea he knew exactly
what Blair had been trying to tell him, but he wanted to be sure.
He'd managed to miss it last night.
Because it was close to terrifying.
And too important to dismiss.
Nervously the kid touched James' face with the fingertips of
one hand. Not stroking, just laying them there, like the wings of
the butterfly James had waxed poetic over.
He took a deep breath, visibly gathering himself to say the
words.
"James." he sighed the name as if it tasted sweet on his
lips.
Staying quiet, James just looked at him, not wanting to
interrupt.
"Last night....what I said..." he stopped again, free hand
gently squeezing James' shoulder.
James' hand came up to gently grasp Blair's, 'go on' his
eyes urged.
"It's not important." the whispered words sounded
anything but confident.
Sitting up abruptly and pulling the smaller man with him,
James suddenly looked very angry.
With a gasp the kid pulled away, moving to the side of the
bed, on his knees, arms around his chest, staring at the bigger
man, the fear in his eyes clear now.
"Shit."
Blair flinched as if the word had hit him.
James got out of the bed and marched over to tower over the
small figure.
"Look at me!" he demanded.
Blair scrambled to the other side of the bed and gained his
feet as well. He met James' eyes anxiously.
"God damm it Blair, don't do *that*!!"
It suddenly occurred to James that he was shouting. The kid
was taking it, standing his ground, but he didn't look happy
about it.
In a softer tone the older man continued;
"Don't put yourself down. You don't think that what you have
to say is important here? That what you think isn't important?
Do you think I'm the kind of man who just wants to possess you?"
A shrug, and the barest ghost of a smile before Blair tried
to answer him.
"I - I, um, I want..." realizing that he wasn't actually
saying anything, Blair shut his mouth again and hugged himself
tighter.
"Christ, Blair, I'm 100 pounds heavier than you, at least
half a foot taller, and ten years older! What kind of a bastard
would it make me if I didn't care about your feelings in this as
well?"
The booming voice had slowly dropped as he spoke, walking
softly over to Blair until they were standing face to face, only
a few small inches separating them.
"As it is most people would say I'm robbing the cradle."
"I'm old enough to know what I want..." Blair whispered,
looking up at him with those eyes.
Big hands coming up to cup his face, thumbs stroking like
magic across full lips.
Sighing, James brought his lips within a whisper of Blair's
and softly spoke.
"Tell me what you want."
Blair's voice shook and broke softly as he answered in a
whisper.
"I...I, you - I want you....*James*."
"Are you *sure*, Blair? You have to be sure."
The thumbs were rubbing faster now.
Laying his hands very deliberately on James' waist and
gripping gently, Blair nodded. His eyes slid closed as he savored
the touch of the big hands.
"I am. I'm sure." the words were convincing but the voice
was still shaky.
James let his lips gently fall onto Blair's. He flicked his
tongue along them, momentarily ignoring the inviting cavern
beyond.
With a brief grin he pulled back and rubbed noses, with
Blair, Inuit style, before the grin faded and he concentrated on
seduction, running his lips along the contours of Blair's face,
barely touching the younger man.
"Mmm."
The hands on his waist gripped tighter.
"You like that." half question half statement, it was
breathed into an ear before James' tongue snaked through the small
hoops on the lobe.
A nod and a tiny gasp.
Catching the silver bauble between his teeth, James tugged
gently.
Another gasp, caught and held in.
Continuing his gentle exploration, James breathed along the
soft neck, stopping to lick the pulse that fluttered wildly.
A tremor ran through the slender frame, and the kid wasn't
moving.
Hands moving with deliberate slowness along Blair's arms,
they caught the hands gripping his waist and held them up to his
lips as he pulled away.
"Maybe we should wait."
The blue eyes flew open, filling with hurt. The rejection
was easy to read on the expressive face as the kid stared at him
in disbelief.
"But you...I..." he seemed to slump then, into himself,
looking at the floor.
"okay."
Gathering the smaller man to his chest the larger gave him a
quick squeeze.
"I don't want to hurt you." he said gently. "I don't want to
scare you. And I think I'm doing both."
It happened again. A damned whisper he shouldn't have
heard but *did*.
"It's okay if you don't want me..."
Shuddering as the words cut through him, James moving away
slightly. Grasping Blair's hand he gently, but firmly pressed it
against his erection.
"I want you Blair. Oh god, how I want you."
The hand in his own jerked, and then caressed
tentatively.
"But this isn't just about me."
"You do? But, I'm, not, you know..." a shrug. "I'm not
beautiful, James. You don't have to say things like that to me."
Quivering from the gentle touch, breathless as he tried to
stay in control, James laughed noiselessly.
He laughed at the incongruity of this angelic man
before him thinking he wasn't beautiful.
Drawing back, Blair glared.
"You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I'm
afraid to touch you and find out you're not real."
"Then why are you laughing at me?" the way he said it gave
James the impression that he'd been laughed at before.
The curtains were open just a crack. A single ray of dawn
light -- too pale and watery to be true sunlight -- floated into
the room.
It added to the surreal sensation of the scene.
Standing in it, the kid was a presented paradox.
The very beauty that had made him scorned by the older
teenagers he'd had as peers was all too vivid to the man who
watched him now.
Catching his breath, he pushed the younger man in front of
the
full-length mirror on the closet door.
"Look," he said, standing behind him. Hands pushing the face
up.
Reluctantly, Blair stared at his reflection, startled at how
unhappy he looked.
{No wonder no-one's ever wanted too really look at me.} he
sighed softly.
"Do you see what I see?" James asked softly, urgently
leaning to whisper the words into the perfect ear. Smoothing his
hands over the bold features, he began to enumerate.
Waxing poetic had never been his strong suit, he'd had
enough dates ended to tell him that. But Blair brought it out in
him.
"Mahogany curls. They look like they'd be silky to the
touch."
Hands moved back to snare themselves in said curls.
"But they're not. They're softer than silk. And they frame a
face that I'm sure you're mother stole from a painting or a
statue."
He smiled suddenly, inspiration striking.
"You know Michaelangelo's David? You remind me of that. I
read the book about him in high school, for a report. Somebody
asked him where that David came from. He said that it was already
there, in the marble, he just saw it."
The smile faded as he studied the doubtful blue eyes in the
mirror. His fingers tenderly stroked warm skin.
"Your beauty has always been there, Blair."
The younger man blushed faintly.
"I just saw it."
James finished with a kiss to the top of the head he held in
his hands. A fine tremor ran through the slender body.
"Do you *see* what I see?" forceful quiet words, insistent.
Staring, Blair tried...he tried to envision James'
words.
Seeing himself there, the bigger man behind him, the
larger body framing him, the hands on his face pale against his
slightly browned skin...he saw the light in James' eyes.
And the light in his own.
"I....um, maybe? A little..." he sighed and closed
his eyes.
Lowering his head back down to nibble at an earlobe
James whispered "I'm going to make you feel it."
"James..." Blair whispered, sounding afraid. "I think I love
you." His hands clenched into fists on his thighs.
Arms coming around the younger man's chest, squeezing
him tightly to his own, James whispered.
"oh Blair."
Quaking inside, the teenager leaned back into that
strong embrace, and opened his eyes to see the older man's
expression.
"I'm never letting you go, butterfly."
Their eyes met in the reflection.
"You don't need to be afraid"
"I'm sorry, I can't seem to help it..."
James nodded, he thought he understood.
He led Blair to the bed and gently pushed him onto it.
Leaning over the younger man, encasing him with his arms, he
spoke.
"I'm the first person..." he let the words trail off
wanting, no *needing* the younger man to finish the sentence.
They *both* needed to be sure that this was the right
time.
Looking up at him with those big eyes, Blair allowed
himself a moment to study things, needing to imprint this on his
memory.
The room, the bed, the man.
The room was pretty basic, off-white walls and average
furniture.
A plain double bed with white cotton sheets and a boldly
striped comforter. Lots of pillows, two beneath his head and
shoulders now.
But there was nothing basic or plain about the man
above him.
He was wonderful. Everything Blair had ever dreamed of...
when he'd dared dream of taking a man for a lover.
His fantasies had always been equally divided between
the two genders, his mother's influence, no doubt.
Strong. Generous.
Brave. Smart.
Kind.
"Blair." The soft voice held a hint of amused warning. "I
can wait here all day."
Blair swallowed slowly.
Patient.
He wanted to look the man in the eyes when he made this
confession, but at the last second it was too hard, and he
focussed on his own hands, resting lightly on the sculpted chest
above him.
"You're the first person...I've ever touched this way." he
wanted to say it firmly, but a whisper came out.
His eyes flickered up, ready to panic.
"You're a virgin."
It was a quiet statement, not giving away the emotion behind
it, and James waited for a confirmation.
Blair just stared, searching the other man's face for
something that would tell him how James felt about it. Apparently
he found it, because he also found the courage to answer.
A small, tight smile and a shaky breath.
"Yeah."
"And you're giving this gift to *me*?" James' soft voice
was incredulous and ecstatic at the same time. His eyes closed,
suddenly afraid that Blair would change his mind, deem him
unworthy of the precious gift of his innocence.
"Nobody else ever wanted it."
James recoiled as though Blair had slugged him. A pause and
then a stronger thought.
"I never *wanted* anybody else."
James ran a gentle hand down Blair's face.
"I want you, Blair. You are beautiful, and I want you. But
if you aren't ready for this, I can wait. We have all the time in
the world."
He moved slowly away from the younger man sitting up in the
bed next to him.
His expression was regretful but sure.
Moving off the bed, his hand lingered lightly on Blair's
arm.
Shaking his head, Blair reached for him and tugged on the
muscled arms. He was grinning slightly, half-afraid but eager.
"No, No, James, Jim...I want this. I do. I've never felt
this way before..." he blushed scarlet but kept looking at the
older man as James spoke again, knowingly.
"And it's new and it's powerful and I don't want to take
advantage of it, of you."
Blair had to protest, tried to explain through his
embarrassment.
"I've never got, you know, hard, just looking at someone.
And there's so much more to it....!" he cut off suddenly, feeling
foolish. {Oh, God. I sound like *such* a baby. He's never
gonna want somebody like me.} the thoughts were clear on his
mobile face.
"Christ, Blair, you are making it impossible for me to
do the right thing here."
The faint pattern in the comforter now absorbed the
teenager's interest.
"Its hard enough to resist you, lying there in my bed. In
*my* bed. But then you go and say something like that..."
Wide eyes.
Slightly parted lips.
The surprisingly strong small hands clutching his arms.
"It's new and it's powerful and it feels so good, James."
He lay back and opened his arms, ignoring the shiver that
ran visibly through him.
"I-I want more." he said bashfully.
James shuddered, the soft demand running through him. His
eyes flowed over the young man, the tight t-shirt clinging to
finely muscled arms and chest, the soft smell of sweat almost
sweet in his nose.
Blair had slept in James' baggy sweats, but they couldn't
hide the insistent push of Blair's cock and James' own erection
surged in response
Falling to his knees by Blair he put mouth and hands to
work.
He gently ran his fingertips around the waistband of
the sweats, pulling the t-shirt loose.
Blair shivered again and dropped his arms to his sides,
smiling gently at James, who pulled the t-shirt up and gazed down
at the lightly-furred chest.
"You are beautiful, you know, butterfly."
Taking his time, James pulled Blair up and slowly removed
the shirt, letting his fingertips trail along behind it.
Another shiver and a sigh. Tentatively a small hand stroked
the broad back bent over him.
"I like it when you touch me." wanting to encourage him
without making him more nervous, James breathed the words softly
across Blair's abdomen.
Shyly; "I want to."
Continuing to explore Blair's chest, placing gentle kisses
here and soft licks there, never resting too long in one place,
James found that his hands were drawn irresistibly back to the
wonderful curls.
He returned to Blair's mouth for another kiss, letting his
chest drape over Blair's, pressing lightly into him.
"ohhhh." Blair moaned softly, shifting his hips slightly.
The hand on James' back stilled and gripped slightly. "I want.."
he panted faintly. "I don't know what I want."
"S'okay Butterfly, I know..."
James stood and placed his hands on the waistband of the
sweats. Pausing, he looked Blair straight in the eye. "I can
stop anytime you want. Just say the word."
A nod and then Blair closed his eyes, as if he couldn't
watch while the older man did this.
His abdomen fluttered as he tensed and then tried to relax.
Gently, ever so slowly, pulling down the sweatpants, breath
catching as he realized the younger man wasn't wearing anything
underneath them and his cock sprang free.
"Oh my god, Butterfly. How could you ever have believed
that you weren't beautiful, weren't desirable." James breathed in
deeply, the scent of Blair's arousal seemed heavy in the air,
heavier than he remembered it ever being with the women he'd
brought home.
His hand instinctively moved to touch the ample weeping
cock, but he pulled it back.
When Blair spoke it was in a small voice, nervous again.
Even a little frightened.
"You really think I'm....you really want me? I'm okay?"
The eyes opened just a little and the kid stared at him from
beneath his lashes, looking unknowingly sultry.
"Okay?" James managed to choke out the word. "Okay?" he
repeated. "You remember David...you make him look like one of
Michaelangelo's failures. I *really* want you. And yeah, you're
*okay*." a thought ran through his mind. {Understatement of the
century}
Moving around the bed, James slipped in on the other side,
curling slightly around the lithe young body.
"Jim...can I call you Jim? I like it better."
He put one arm around Blair's shoulders and let the other
one run from chin to navel.
"Yeah, butterfly, you can call me Jim. I like the way it
sounds on your lips."
Blair put his arms around the larger man and held him
gingerly.
"I can touch you, right?"
James moaned his answer. "Oh yeah...you can touch me."
The room was heating up as the southern sun rose.
But Blair shivered again as James caressed him.
James tightened his hold against the young man's shoulders,
offering something solid for the younger man to cling to. The
delicately strong hands spread flat on the broad smooth back and
he leaned to nuzzle at James' shoulder, tentatively kissing there.
James shuddered at the sensation, his skin felt on fire from
the heat pouring from his companion's body and soft lips felt
strong enough to bruise him.
He could feel each individual hair on the chest under his
fingertips.
The small hands stroked more confidently, moving down his
spine and hovering sat the top of his ass before sliding back up
to touch the soft bristles of short hair on the back of his neck.
"so good." James whispered as he pulled Blair's lips into a
gentle sucking kiss. He let his hand stray lower.
Blair was enjoying the kiss, but stiffened when the hand
ventured below his waist. The now-familiar shiver raced through
him.
"Shh, Butterfly." the hand resumed its chin to navel sweep.
"Do you want to stop?"
A mute head shake, then Blair's face below his chin, nuzzling
where neck met shoulder.
James was grateful, he would have stopped if it had been what
Blair wanted, but it probably would have killed him. He let his
hand drift a little further down Blair's abdomen with each sweep
of his hand. A stronger shiver, almost a shudder, echoed his
movements.
Whispering soft meaningless words into the small ears, he
let his fingertips brush the straining cock.
A small moan warmed the skin of his neck. Then words
dribbled out.
"You - you're touching me....ohhh."
Emboldened, James let two fingers run carefully up and down
the velvet length of cock.
"Oh!" a true shudder now, and the kid was pressing himself
closer to James. "That feels *good*!"
Pleased beyond anything he had to compare it with, James
slowly wrapped his hand around the erection and began, ever so
slowly, to pump, wanting to elicit more of the little moans and
breathy words.
Regular spasms quaked that body in his arms.
The kid panted into his neck and clutched him.
"Jim...I -- it --"
Replying;
"I know, Butterfly, I know." James sped up his motions.
Another shudder, and a definite whimper. It sounded more
like apprehension than pleasure.
"Is it...this...am I...?"
Pressing the young body into himself, speeding his hand
another notch, James whispered again.
"S'okay, Butterfly. You're okay. I know it can be
overwhelming, but I've got you. You can let go. Just let go and
enjoy it. I'm not going to let anything but good touch you
here."
His answer was a low groan and a tremor that started at
Blair's feet and worked its way up his body.
Jim's name bubbled from his open mouth just as his body
stiffened and his cock splashed his semen over the man's hand
and his own belly.
"Jim!"
Jim held the trembling body tightly against himself,
his own raging erection throbbing but ignored.
Blair relaxed suddenly, so completely he sagged in the
embrace. Stunned, he moaned softly into Jim's skin.
"Blair?" It was a question, an embrace, a benediction.
Shudder, gasp, twitch.
The body is his arms was still reacting.
"I never knew..." he sighed at last, barely moving to nuzzle
at the strong neck and shoulder. "*Jim*...I felt...it was..."
squeezing his arms tight around Jim, he tried to express it when
words failed him. "Your hand...it wasn't just on my...all of me,
Jim, even inside."
Then he was quiet, absorbing the experience.
Jim held him close, knowing he'd made it beautiful for Blair
aroused him even more and he had to consciously restrain himself
from rocking his hips into the body in his arms.
A snuggle, another nuzzle.
A sigh.
Jim's body stiffened with effort.
And then Blair was pulling back, looking at him, so
delightfully sweet and shy and abashed.
He touched Jim's mouth with his own, and opened it, inviting
him in.
After a long kiss that went from sweet to hungry he pulled
back again and smiled bashfully.
"Can I do that to you? Will it make you feel as good?"
He was eager but worried. Jim could read his face well
enough now to define that quickly.
Jim shuddered at the words, his self control vanishing in
the light of Blair's question.
Shifting, stripping down his sweats, he held Blair's eyes
with his own.
The blue eyes grew round again as the kid watched, flicking
downward every few seconds and then returning resolutely to Jim's
face.
"I think, maybe, I'll do it this time, butterfly. You
takes notes." he teased gently.
The smile faded, replaced by something almost comical;
relief and disappointment and hunger all mixed together.
Jim lay back, pulling Blair to the crook of his arm and
wrapped his hand around his erection.
Blair stared, unable to relax into the embrace.
Unable to hold off any longer, the big man began to pump
himself slowly.
"I should do that." it wasn't a very strong objection from
the teen.
"Touch me, butterfly." Jim urged gently. "Just do whatever
you want, what feels right. Whatever you do, I know I'll love
it."
"I want to..."
"Just do it, please." Jim tried to keep the desperation out
of his voice, not wanting to scare the younger man with how much
he wanted that touch. His skin waited, willing to turn the
lightest caress into fire.
Snuggling closer, Blair laid a hand on Jim's taut abdomen.
One finger trailed around the well of belly-button.
"Can I kiss you?" it was asked nervously, in a soft voice.
The kid leaned close like he was anticipating the answer.
"Yesssss." the whispered answer trembled with need.
Once again the warm lush mouth closed over his. The velvet
tongue slipped into his immediately and stroked the inside of his
mouth as the kid learned his taste.
The hand on his belly slid lower.
When slender fingers brushed the beginning line of crisp
hair it paused.
Jim's hand increased the pace. He was so close.
"please.." the whisper barely audible. Blair shuddered with
pleasure at the word and the tone and closed his hand carefully
over Jim's, unsure.
Breaking the kiss long enough to whisper an anxious
question;
"Like this?"
"*Yes*!" came the hissed answer.
Jim's hips rolling off the bed with each stroke
With that confirmation the kid's hand closed tightly and
stroked with him, the mouth returned to his and they were
together in this.
"Oh god, butterfly...YES!" he came, spilling his seed over
their hands.
Collapsing back onto the bed, he pulled Blair down on top of
him. The younger man just curled closer to him and burrowed into
his chest, his hand still holding Jim's wilting cock.
"i love you." the whisper wasn't meant to be heard, he just
needed to say the words.
But Jim heard and replied with an unseen smile.
"I love you too, butterfly."
***
Jim came awake by stages. It seemed as if all of his
senses were coming online one at a time....the first thing he was
aware of was the weight....and the warmth. Of the compact body
tucked close to his side, shoulder under his arm, face nuzzled
into his neck.
Warmth, weight, the contrast of smooth skin and morning
bristles.
And then the scent hit him, all the more powerfully because
it seemed to be coming from a silent darkness.
Ejaculate and sweat were predominant. Beneath them was the
innate sweetness of the kid's scent.... with that came sound.
Soft, even breathing.
The rustle of curly hair on the pillowcase where it trailed
off his shoulder. Silent rasp of sheet to blanket as his chest
rose and fell in time with Jim's.
The young heart thudded peacefully.
It was peaceful.
That surprised him. After the revelations of the night
before...the legal age, Blair's virginity, and their mutual
declarations of love....
{Shouldn't I be a bit more confused here? At least
questioning?}
Opening his eyes, he added sight to the mix.
It was just past dusk, there wasn't much light in the room
and what there was was gray and dim...But he could see the young
man in his arms clearly.
And he was heartbreakingly beautiful.
And so, so young.
{Too young for me.} Jim thought with a stab of guilt.
{I've ragged on guys in my unit for doing this with girls his
age. I can't make allowances for myself.}
The soft breathing quickened and he stroked his fingers
through the soft hair, listening as it smoothed and slowed again,
like magic.
Lying there, trying to rationalize this to himself, Jim
slowly became aware of other things.
He could hear cars on the street.....several blocks over, at
the convenience store.
The scent of Italian food seemed to fill his nostrils for a
minute, overpowering Blair's sweetness, but the nearest Italian
restaurant was at least ten blocks away.
It faded even as he thought about it and then Blair was
stirring, small movements, deeper snuggle, and a sigh just before
he opened those eyes.
Brilliant, depthless blue that smiled up at him without an
ounce of worry or regret to cloud them.
"Good morning." a faint blush, the hand on his chest moving
restlessly in place.
"Good morning to you." a chuckle. "But it's evening."
"We slept all day?"
"I was tired from the trip...you must have been tired from
worrying about me."
"Mm. Or maybe this just felt so good I didn't want to wake
up." a grin now, with shadings of....naughtiness?
{Definitely naughty.} Jim thought ten seconds later, when
the restless hand slid down his stomach, fingers dancing across
ribs, to stop and play momentarily at the navel before sliding
lower.
"I can't believe I'm here." the kid whispered into his ear.
"That I'm doing this." Tenderly, he kissed Jim's neck, then
licked tentatively.
"Ohh." a short groan, Jim tried to restrain himself, but
knew the battle was already lost.
"Kid...Blair..."
"Call me what you called me this morning, Jim." Blair purred
into his ear, the exploring hand becoming braver, one slender
finger gingerly running the length of Jim's rapidly-hardening
cock. "I really liked that."
The finger retraced it's journey and Jim clutched the kid
to his side.
"*Butterfly*." he breathed before turning to his side to
cover Blair's mouth with his own. With the taste of him came the
hunger for him.
Not wanting to scare the kid, striving for control but not
quite finding it, he found himself once again trying to devour
the luscious mouth
The hand on his cock trembled as the lush mouth opened to
him. Then it released him and slid to his hip, rubbed warm
circles for long breath-stealing minutes.
Blair gave himself up to that kiss.
Feeling his young lover surrender his very self in their
kiss, Jim grasped his hips and pulled him tightly against him.
Their cocks touched and Blair broke the kiss with a gasp to stare
at him for a split-second before grinning and diving back in.
Some part of his brain recognized the lack of fear at the
new sensations on Blair's face and Jim let go, rocking the body
in his arms, rubbing their erections against each other in a
dance of heat and friction.
After a few minutes the kid picked up the rhythm, the hand
on Jim's hip tightening as he began to participate, using it to
anchor himself. The kiss grew somehow deeper. He made a low noise
in his throat, it sounded pleasurable.
Jim pulled his mouth away long enough to throatily moan.
"Oh butterfly."
"Jim?" the kid did sound a little worried now...his
movements slowed and then stopped as he panted harshly. He rested
his forehead on the broad shoulder and tried to gain some
control.
Jim reluctantly pulled away from the beautiful mouth.
"What's wrong, butterfly?" his voice was harsh but he knew
Blair would know it wasn't from anger
"It...it's so strong, Jim. I don't know if I'm supposed to
feel like this."
Jim laughed, it was a light, joyful airy sound.
"I hope it always feels like this for you."
"I've never felt anything like this." the kid sighed and
then, shyly, kissed the shoulder before peeking up at the older
man.
"To tell you the truth, neither have I."
"It's supposed to be like this? So big and powerful
and...and wonderful?"
The blue eyes were huge pools, darkened to purple, so
dilated they seemed to be almost all pupil.
"Oh, I've made love before and it's been great, just never
this good. But I can tell you that yes, this is the way it's
supposed to be."
"So it's only like this if you're on love." he said it with
sweet innocence, as if that explained everything.
"We're two of the lucky ones, butterfly."
"Wow." there was a hint of hero-worship-awe in the tone.
"Wow back, butterfly, wow back." Jim wanted to make sure
Blair knew it wasn't one sided. He gently tilted his lover's face
and smiled down at him.
Blair beamed back up. He was still blushing faintly, still a
little shy. But he so very happy.
"Do you think we could get back to feeling this *Wow* here
butterfly?" Jim rocked his hip once again against Blair's as he
said it.
"Oh! Oh, yes, of course...*Jim*." The older man heard
Blair's breath catch in the back of his throat as their cocks
slid along each other. The hand on his hip tightened again and
eyelids fringed with extravagant lashes closed over those eyes,
blocking them from Jim's sight.
Grinning, the older man grasped Blair's hips again and
started rocking. With a soft moan Blair opened his mouth, the tip
of his tongue dancing in the air just past his lower lip. He
rocked in time with Jim without hesitation.
"I want it to go on forever..." he panted. "But I can't wait
for it to end!" he didn't sound upset by this confusion.
Jim just reached down to kiss that beautiful mouth and suck
on that slippery tongue. Blair grunted and suddenly pushed harder
against Jim, his body stiffening.
"Oh yeah, butterfly, come for me." Jim whispered into his
ear.
"I'm ..I'm not...I *am*..." he tore his mouth away and hid
his face at Jim's neck again as he came, pumping his seed over
Jim's groin. "Help, Jim, oh god it feels..."
His cock stopped throbbing and he relaxed completely.
"oooohhhhhhh...." eyes closed, his head lolled back, hand
slipping from Jim's hip. Laying in Jim's embrace the slender body
quivered with aftershocks.
Unsure, Jim began again to gently move against the young
body, his own erection screaming for release. But he didn't want
to overwhelm his young lover. The glide of his cock through the
semen was wonderful.
It roused the teenager somewhat. He snuggled close to Jim
again, licking at his neck and shoulder and then, bravely,
dipping his head to run his tongue over one tight, hard nipple.
Jim jerked and began to rub frantically against him, moaning
from deep inside.
Intrigued, Blair closed his mouth over the tiny nubbin and
suckled. He moved his hand, intending to grip Jim's hip again,
but the sweat and splashed semen made him slippery and it missed,
slipped right between them where the hot brush of Jim's cock
rubbed against it.
Hands gripping his lover's hips, Jim began to moan out
"Butterfly... butterfly... OH GOD BUTTERFLY!" his moans
turning to a shout as he felt the hand at his cock.
With this enthusiastic approval, it took no thought for
Blair to turn his hand and wrap his long fingers around the
sticky, straining length and hold tightly.
Jim's cock pumped through his hand rapidly.
His grip on Blair's hips tightened and with another shout he
came.
The last of the dusky light slipped behind the cover of
darkness.
The room was black and cold.
Oblivious, the two men lay, holding tightly to each other.
Peppering little kisses along the older man's face, Blair
snuggled further into his big lover, seeking reassurance as much
as warmth. Finally, Jim dropped a light kiss on his forehead and
tried to disentangle himself.
Clutching at him, Blair objected softly.
"Don't go."
"I'm not going anywhere, Butterfly, but if we don't do
something about this stuff we're gonna stick together like glue."
Grinning and chuckling as sudden inspiration struck him, Jim
pulled back from the warm body in his arms. "Why don't we share
the shower?"
Blair's stomach rumbled before he had a chance to answer and
he dissolved into a fit of happy giggles at the unromantic sound.
"uh, sorry.." he managed before Jim's mouth came down to
cover his.
"Here's the plan, butterfly -shower first, eat second, is
that okay?"
"Sure Jim." Sounding less than sure.
"What's wrong, Butterfly? I thought I already told you I
want to hear whatever you have to say, don't make me start
repeating myself" Grinning to make it a joke, Jim nonetheless
looked steadily at Blair, waiting for his explanation.
Looking at his hands, which were running nervously up and
down the large chest, the kid answered softly.
"I've never showered with anyone before."
Jim wasn't sure what to make of the statement. He didn't
quite see what the problem was. Here they were after all, naked
together in bed, how could a shower be that much different?
"I don't see..." he let it peter out, not wanting to admit to
Blair that he didn't understand.
But the young body shrugged, as if he'd known what Jim
didn't say.
"I know it doesn't make a lot of sense, okay? It just
seems, well...more intimate for some reason to shower together."
It's like your supposed to be naked when you make love and sleep
together, but you don't have to shower together. Is this making
*any* sense?"
Running a soothing hand through wayward curls as Blair
became agitated, Jim thought over what he'd said.
"Well I don't know how logical it is, Butterfly, but then
feelings aren't logical, are they? Or we probably wouldn't be
here together now. So if you don't want to shower with me, I'll
understand. I'd rather you did though, because I don't want to
let you out of my sight for even a couple of minutes." Jim looked
sheepishly over towards the window, distracting himself by trying
to see through the crack in the blind.
Grasping the big man's shoulders, Blair pulled himself
closer.
"It's not that I don't want to Jim, it's just that I'm a
little nervous about it. I know you said you thought I was
beautiful and all, and really you do make me feel beautiful..."
he added hastily. "But that's while we're making love, this will
be, well utilitarian."
Choking in an effort to keep back his laughter, Jim's
embarrassment over needing to stay close to his new lover faded.
"Utilitarian, Butterfly? You think this shower is gonna be
*utilitarian*?"
His voice dropped an octave to a low husky purr. "We may be
getting clean in this shower, but that's not why we're taking
it."
Blair's body flushed hotly, his hands stilling briefly
against Jim's chest.
"Oh..."
Feeling the sudden heat against his groin, Jim pressed his
body against Blair's.
"Already, Butterfly? You're going to kill me at this rate."
Blair ducked his head, "I'm sorry. You just make me
feel..." he trailed off, now red from embarrassment.
"Aw, I didn't mean it like that. I was just surprised."
Taking Blair's hand and placing against his own cock Jim
continued. "See, I want you again too, but this old flesh is
quite a bit slower to respond even -" he broke off in surprise as
Blair's hand wrapped around his penis and pumped it rapidly to
fullness.
Blair laughed delightedly and Jim cut the sound off with a
hungry kiss.
"Come on, Butterfly, let's take this show on the road."
They made their way to the bathroom, their progress greatly
impeded by Blair's constant stopping to kiss and admire his
lover's muscled form.
Hooking his hands under the younger man's arms, Jim dragged
him up from his knees, where he'd dropped to lick at the thigh
that had caught his eye as Jim walked next to him.
"You keep that up and we won't make it to the shower at
all."
Blair giggled quietly.
"I wasn't sure you'd like that."
Snorting as they finally made it to their goal, Jim gave the
young man a loving look.
"You touch me anywhere you want, Butterfly. I can pretty
much guarantee you I'm gonna love it."
Hit by a flash of inspiration, Jim turned and rushed to the
door.
"Wait right there!" he ordered.
He came back a moment later, two candles in hand, raided
from his emergency box. Setting them out on the counter he lit
them and looked, abashed at the maudlin romanticism of the
gesture, at Blair.
The kid was bouncing slightly in place, almost vibrating,
and he looked so inordinately pleased that Jim vowed to imbue as
many moments with romance as he could, whether or not it seemed
trite.
Letting Blair set the temperature and settle into the shower
first, Jim fished out a couple of clean oversized bath towels.
Stepping behind the curtain, he wrapped his arms around the
small form, nuzzling his neck. Feeling suddenly vulnerable, Blair
stiffened, and then tried to relax into the embrace.
"Jim." he said softly, as if he was reminding himself.
Gently grazing a nipple with a single finger, Jim licked at
the bejeweled earlobe.
"I'm here, Butterfly." he breathed over the ear.
"Oh!"
They hadn't spent much time on foreplay yet, and he was
startled by the feelings Jim's caress invoked. "I - that feels
good." it sounded like a confession. His cock was getting
very hard and he shifted, one hand moving as if to cover himself,
but not quite making it.
Continuing to lick around the slender neck in front of him,
biting gently against the corded sinews the older man began a
gentle seduction.
"Ahhhhh." hanging his head forward, Blair invited him to
continue. Whispering little nonsense sentences just above his
skin, Jim continued his exploration of his lover's neck and back.
One hand flicked at each nipple in turn, the other wandered
over the flat planes of furred stomach and long-muscled thighs,
deliberately avoiding the straining cock.
Blair shivered. The hand that traveled his body was cooler
than the water that streamed over his front and that made him all
the more aware of it.
Jim's hard length pressed lightly against his lower back.
Another shiver rose as Blair realized just how large the older
man's cock really was. Much larger than his own. Instinctively
Blair spread his legs for balance. He tried to subdue his
shivering, tried not to think about what he - what Jim - what
they were doing.
Shifting lower, Jim ran his tongue down the line of the
younger man's spine, stopping to twirl gently in the small of his
back. Jim hands stopped on Blair's hips as he sank all the way to
his knees.
Now Blair's hand did cover his own organ, but that only
served to make it throb hungrily.
And Jim knocked his hand away, gently turning the enticing
body in his arms.
Blair stared down at the older man, eyes so wide, too many
things in them for Jim to read clearly. Lust, love, fear,
embarrassment...and more that he couldn't even begin to
name. He was faced with the proof of Blair's desire and he leaned
forward to place a gently kiss on the tip of the younger man's
erection.
It was becoming a cliche, but he loved to watch those eyes
widen and darken like they were doing now. Looking up to watch
his lover's face, Jim slowly took the head of his penis into his
mouth and ran his tongue around it.
Blair gasped, and blinked, and then touched Jim's head
hesitantly. "Y-You don't have to do that, man."
Jim moved back long enough to reply;
"I want to." before swallowing the beautiful head once
again.
The strong, slender hands framed Jim's face and tugged
gently on it. "I mean, Jim, ...."
Hands moving back to grasp the firm ass cheeks, Jim slowly
sank his mouth forward on the straining erection. It wasn't
something he'd ever done before, but he knew what he liked.
Shuddering his legs spreading even wider, Blair pressed
forward, the hands on his ass making him more nervous.
"Jim...man, you don't have to..." he groaned.
His hands slid from his lover's head to the broad shoulders,
where they clutched and then dug in.
Smiling was out of the question, but Jim knew Blair would
like this. Few of the women he'd slept with were willing to do it
and it had always seemed very special to him. Something he wanted
to give to the kid. So with great enthusiasm he ignored the
younger man's protests and moved his head backward and forwards,
sucking in with his cheeks.
With another groan Blair felt his hips buck. Jim's mouth was
so *hot*....he could feel the pressure building in his cock, but
wasn't familiar enough with the sensation to know how close he
was.
Jim hands moved to grasp the hold hips still, gagging
slightly as the hot cock hit the back of his throat. He sped up
his movements, suddenly wanting to taste his lover, full
strength.
"*Jim*...oh, man, you don't..." Blair panted and moaned
pieces of words. He dared glance down and stared.
The big man was kneeling before him, and *his* cock was
thrusting in and out of Jim's mouth...
"Jim, don't, man..."
He was getting too close. He knew he was going to come now,
and he really didn't want to do that to this man.
"*Don't, Jim, please!" the hands on the shoulders pushed
slightly, not wanting to knock him over but definitely wanting to
break the contact before it was too late.
Jim froze, the kid's cock still buried in his mouth.
He slowly moved back, letting it slide out, looking up with
concern at his young lover.
"I - I don't want you to do that...." Blair whispered,
ashamed. His erection was wilting. He couldn't look at Jim.
Confusion and worry filled his voice
"Blair..."
"It doesn't feel like something you should do." A red heat
flowed over the kid's lithe body.
Not willing to give up his prize, Jim stayed where he was,
hands still clutching the smaller man's hips.
"I want to do it. I want to taste you."
Blair shivered, his eyes closed.
"I'm doing this because I want to make you feel good."
"It's kinda...it's weird, man. Okay?"
Standing abruptly, feeling suddenly cold despite the hot
water flowing over them, Jim tried not to let the sting of
rejection color his voice.
"I'm sorry."
"I don't like seeing you...like that." it was as close to
explaining as Blair could get.
"Sure, fine. Whatever you want." Not really paying that
much attention to the younger man as he tried to keep the hurt
from his face and voice. It had been a long time since he'd
fumbled with a lover. But he'd forgotten how sensitive the kid
was. As soon as the words left his mouth Blair paled. He reached
a hand toward Jim, but then hesitated and drew it back again, but
only a little bit. It hung in the steamy air between them as he
tried to make Jim understand.
Misinterpreting the look Jim tried to cleared his face,
pushing his hurt to the background.
"It's *okay*, Butterfly. I won't do anything you're not
comfortable with."
"I don't mean I didn't like it..." he mumbled, his youth and
innocence all too-obvious at this moment. "I just...I don't want
you to do anything...gross, y'know? I mean, you can't like
that..."
He looked younger than his meager seventeen years now, his
slight body soaked, the hair slicked back from his face.
Almost gasping in relief as Blair's words penetrated, Jim
leaned his forehead against his lover's face.
"Oh Butterfly, I *did* like it." He shrugged diffidently as
if it had only now occurred to him to be embarrassed by it.
"Jim?" hesitant. He patted the older man's back awkwardly.
"But...how? It's..." Now Blair wrapped his arms around Jim,
holding him as much for his own comfort as the larger man's.
"What? Dirty? - we're in the shower butterfly, you're
clean."
A quick, almost abrupt shrug.
"Your body is a beautiful thing to me. And you tasted so
good, I wanted to taste everything."
And a shudder.
"It was-" the words cut off sharply as he clamped his mouth
shut again.
Jim pulled back slightly. "I really have to break you of
this habit of claming up, Butterfly -- you are my *lover*, you
can tell me anything. Anything."
Blair pulled back and stared at him for a long minute, the
blue eyes wide again.
"Your lover...wow, I like that." a broad grin split his
face. His cock was staging a revival.
Jim grinned back, loving the way the kid's smile lit up his
face
"Don't change the subject. What were you going to say? I
want to know everything that goes on in that beautiful head of
yours."
"I saw you..." the grin faded and he looked serious now. "it
just didn't look right, y'know? For you to be on your knees like
that...It made me feel strange." He shivered. "Not a good
strange, either."
Running a soothing hand along the kid's back, Jim smiled
gently down at him.
"I know just the thing for that." His smile turned into a
sudden grin. "Next time I'll do it while your lying on the bed,
that way I'll be towering over your, instead of on my knees in
front of you. How does that sound?"
Drawing in a deep breath and holding it, Blair could only
goggle at him for a minute. When he could breathe again he
practically stammered a reply.
"Uh, yeah, that-that would be, like, o-okay, i guess...."
Diving in for a quick kiss, Jim ran his tongue along the
inside of Blair's mouth before pulling back.
"This is something I really really want to do for you." He
suddenly hung his head.
Blair followed him when he pulled back, trying to maintain
the contact.
"But I won't if it makes you feel uncomfortable."
"I want to do whatever you want, big guy."
"It's not about me, Blair, it's not even about you -it's
about *us*"
"So we aren't going to do "whatever I want" we'll do
whatever we're both comfortable with, okay lover?" Jim used the
endearment again, happy with the results from the last time he'd
said it.
The kid looked at the floor for a minute, and then back up
at Jim, nervously.
"What if I don't know what I'm comfortable with?"
"That's okay, I'll just go with what I think we both want
and you just let me know if your not comfortable with something,
like you did just now, okay?" Jim was anxious to make sure his
smaller, less experienced lover wasn't bowled over by him.
"I think I should tell you when I do like something, too."
now the mischievous glint was back in his eye. "Just to be sure
you'll do it again."
"Oh yeah, Butterfly, you do that. It turns me on so much
when I make you whimper with pleasure."
The kid blushed from his waist to his hairline, faster and
hotter than Jim would have thought possible. It made his voice
drop back to that throaty purr and he nibbled on the delectable
ear in front of him as he asked his next question.
"So what would you like me to do to take care of that?" His
arm slid down and lightly grasped his lover's erection for a
moment before letting go and awaiting instructions.
Unable to meet his eyes, still blushing furiously, Blair
answered in a choked stammer.
"Um...uh, um, yeah...please, Jim?"
Neither of them were aware of the water that still streamed
down on them, growing less warm with every minute.
"What, Butterfly, tell me. You can tell me anything. Tell
me how to make you whimper." Undulating gently, his own erection
aching, Jim waited breathlessly for his answer.
"oh god...I can't...um...t-touch me? With your hand,
Jim...." the words faltered and the body in his arms shivered
again. "Jim..."
"Oh, yeah, Butterfly..." Jim's purr almost turned into a
whimper of its own as he grasped Blair's cock and began to pump.
The heat of it seemed to burn his palm.
"Jim..." it wasn't a whimper, more of a surprised squeak,
and then Blair began to move. Forward into his hand, pressing
back against his cock.
The water droplets were stinging as they beat down on his back
and he increased the speed of his hand, suddenly wondering if he
was going to come before the kid did.
Blair was pushing harder back against him, adding a wanton
wriggle of his ass to the mix. He moaned, long and low, a truly
adult sound.
"unghhhhhhh...."
"Bu...bu...Butterfly!" Jim cried out as the sensation of
that sweet ass pressing back against him, coupled with the joy of
holding that heavy heat in his hands spiralled him over the edge
and he came.
The big man's hand tightened reflexively on Blair's cock and
he felt Jim shudder behind him....trying to catch a breath, he
was surprised by the force of his orgasm when it
rose in him. Both of the earlier times he'd hid his face at Jim's
neck, but this time there was no place to duck. Throwing his head
back, he thumped it on Jim's chest and his hands clutched back at
the big man's hips, scrabbling, fingers digging in.
He was silent, no air left to moan.
Then he began sliding down Jim's body as his knees gave out.
Bringing his arms tightly around the collapsing form, Jim
allowed his own knees to sink as he cushioned the younger man
from the floor of the tub.
Blair flopped like a rag doll. Panting, he couldn't form a
sentence.
Jim's head fell forward and he gently kissed the beautiful
neck exposed in front of him. Shivering, he finally noticed the
water was close to cold. The thin chest in his arms was heaving,
the body beginning to shiver.
Quickly, with speed and efficiency born of years of military
communal showering, he washed Blair and himself.
Blair seemed to come to recover, but didn't say anything. He
was pliant but not really responsive.
Turning off the water and stepping out of the shower, Jim
gently lifted him out and wrapped him in one of the bath tower.
"What do you want on your pizza?" he asked, toweling the kid
off. He was clean and sated, now it was time to eat.
"Anything but pepperoni. Or sausage. And that Canadian bacon
stuff is awful.." finding his voice with a vengeance, Blair
snapped his mouth shut and leaned into Jim's arms. Nuzzling to
his chest, he spoke quietly, as if afraid the sentiment wouldn't
be returned this time. "Jim...I love you." he sounded exactly
every day of his seventeen years.
And not a day more.
"No meat?" Jim cried out, sounding scandalized. "I love
you too, Butterfly, very very much. A whole lot of bunch. There
isn't another soul in the world I'd be willing to have pizza with
no meat for."
Tilting his head back and risking a small smile, Blair's
eyes were shining.
"It just isn't right, but for you I'll do anything." with a
smile Jim teased.
"Hamburger's okay..." the kid seemed startled by it but
willing to enjoy it.
"Hamburger." Jim sighed with relief. "Thank you butterfly,
I do love you, but I'd hate to collapse from hunger for
it." He tousled the kid's hair before heading for the phone.
"It's...I mean, I'm Jewish, but not really, and that's not
why I don't want the rest of it...it's the way they treat the
pigs before they kill them."
Deciding that this wasn't the time or the place for that
discussion, Jim led him back to the bedroom and held him for a
while.
After ordering the pizza, settling his lover comfortably in
bed and donning a robe in anticipation of the food's arrival, Jim
returned to sit on the side of the bed.
"So you're Jewish. Tomorrow's Saturday, that means it's
Passover already, doesn't it."
Blair was watching him, wide-eyed.
"Do you need to do anything? We could probably find a
temple for you. I'm not sure which town has the closest one
but..."
A shy smile brightened the young face.
"I, um, it's not like I'm orthodox, man. It's more of a
blood thing."
"Well, if you, you know, need to do anything or go anywhere,
just let me know."
"But that's like, way nice of you. If I wanted to go, would
you go with me?"
"I'm not Jewish, would they let me in?"
"Well, you've got the right accessory." Blair grinned and
reached a hand to lightly stroke Jim's circumcised cock.
Breath catching in his throat as his cock exploded into
action from the touch, Jim was saved from embarrassment as the
door bell rang.
"Not so old as all that, are you, Jim..." Blair called after
him, giggling.
The teasing didn't help him get rid of his erection any and
by the time he was halfway down the stairs he was reviewing "An
officer's handbook" in his mind. He had no intention of
answering the door with a hard-on. The robe was loose, but there
was no sense taking any more risks.
His stomach, faced with the threat of no food chose that
moment to growl ominously, and his penis reluctantly deflated.
Paying for the pizza, he left the delivery boy a whopping
tip in his hurry to get the door closed and get back up to his
young lover.
A side trip to the kitchen for a couple of sodas and he was
climbing the stairs two at a time.
"Oh man, that smells good!" crowed Blair as he entered his
bedroom. Jim nearly dropped the pizza.
Lying on his side, propped up on an elbow, Blair had pushed
the covers off while Jim was downstairs paying for their food.
His body glimmered in the soft glow of the bedside light. He
grinned shyly at Jim and held out his hand.
"Hey, you didn't answer the door like that did you?" he
asked, as Jim's penis hardened once again. "Is this okay?" like a
switch was flipped he sounded young and nervous again.
Grinning, Jim put down the pops and grasped his hand.
"You look *great*, Butterfly."
Now normally I wouldn't allow eating of any sort in the bed"
he began "But I'm going to make an exception to that just this
once."
There was a new expression on the kid's face, something he'd
never seen before...
A pout.
Mild and sweet, but a pout nonetheless.
"And no, imp, I did not answer the door like this, it *had*
gone away. You brought it back with that sultry come hither
look of yours." he was teasing again.
More blushing. Blair was startled to find that he had enough
blood left for his cock.
"Let's just eat, okay." he mumbled, tugging on Jim's hand
bashfully and reaching for the comforter.
"No problem, I'm hungry enough for a whole barracks worth of
privates."
Snagging the comforter from the younger man's hands he added
"But only if you leave this off."
He shrugged out of his robe, putting them on an even footing
in the clothing department.
"Jim..." Blair protested softly. "I, um, I don't
wanna...um..." his free hand clutched at the sheets.
Looking immeasurably disappointed, Jim nevertheless let his
lover cover himself.
The kid was quiet when Jim handed him a slice of pizza.
"Butterfly? Settling in beside him, nude and nonchalant, Jim
snagged himself a pizza and studied the younger man for a moment.
"I'm sorry I pushed Blair." He stopped and considered his words
carefully.
Blair could be so enthusiastic about things that Jim would
forget that he had been a virgin just that morning and this was
all new to him. Since he'd apparently never even had a
relationship, *very* new.
"I just...like being with you, like feeling the heat coming
from your naked body, I like being able to look over and see you
there, spread out for me."
The last blush had barely faded and Blair groaned softly as
a new one spread.
"This is gonna kill me." he mumbled, studying his pizza
intently.
"You see.." speaking softly, Jim gently traced a finger
along the reddened cheek, "There I go again." Jim slapped his
own hand playfully "Down boy, *down*" he intoned in his best
master-to-bad-dog voice.
"I, I like...when you look at me." it sounded defensive. "It
makes me...I dunno, it's scary though, the way you make me feel."
"Scared is the last thing I want to make you feel." Jim
responded, voice suddenly serious again. Inching away slightly,
under the pretense of getting another slice of pizza, Jim gave
the younger man a bit more room.
"I'm not scared of *you*, Jim!" big eyes turned on him,
earnest. "Just, y'know, the way I feel. You say it's normal and
it's good, but I don't like feeling out of control."
"I like the feeling." Softly, his companion could hardly
hear him, Jim continued. "I like feeling so strongly that I'm
out of control. I don't give up control very often in my life.
I can't. But I feel safe doing it with you. I know you won't
trample over my love, Butterfly."
Rolling to his stomach diagonally across the bed and leaning
on his elbows, Blair rested his chin in his hands, ignoring the
blanket when it slipped down, exposing his ass. Jim's breath
caught at the sight, but he said nothing.
"How can you know that? How can you be so *sure*? I don't
have anything to compare it to..."
Jim shrugged, frowned slightly then shook his head as he
looked back up at Blair.
"I just know." He knew he spoke with a great deal more
conviction than he felt, but the kid needed an anchor and he
wanted to be it. There would be time enough later to cling back.
The kid closed his eyes, again looking very young. If it
weren't for the heavy stubble that shaded his thin face, Jim
would have felt very bad about himself at this moment.
"I want to feel that way...but I got this problem. I've
always had it...it's like, unless, like, it's something my mom
believes...I need proof, man."
His legs bent at the knees and he hooked his feet together
in midair and waved them slowly.
"Can't we just pretend your Mom believes in us?" Jim
couldn't help joking, it helped him focus on something other than
the limbs tossing about in front of him.
A blink, and then a smile.
"I am *so* not ready to go there, man." he grinned again and
rolled to his back, absently pulling the blanket up as it slipped
further, and reaching over Jim for the pizza.
"I thought you were hungry." he glanced at the uneaten piece
in the older man's hand.
Glancing ruefully down at his pizza, Jim held it up to
Blair's mouth.
"Wanna give me a hand here? I can't seem to get started."
Thickly fringed lid lowered seductively over ocean blue
eyes.
"Yeah." the kid almost whispered. "I bet it tastes better
that way." The full lips parted slightly and he waited.
Pleasantly surprised, Jim decided to push his luck. Taking a
bite of the pizza, he leaned forward and, putting his lips to
Blair's gently passed the pizza into the younger man's mouth.
Blair took it delicately, lifting it from Jim's mouth with
what was proving to be a very agile tongue. The expression on his
face was nervous, but intrigued.
They finished the piece of pizza, Jim alternating between
feeding Blair and eating himself.
Finishing the first piece, Jim leaned over to snag one of
the pop cans.
"Thirsty?" he asked, voice low, throaty, and promising.
Blair shook his head slowly.
"I really don't like the stuff." he said apologetically.
His hands moved restlessly, another sign that, as comfortable as
he appeared, he was still anxious. Jim grinned, letting him know
it was alright and handed him another piece of pizza, popping open
his can.
They finished eating quickly, both men really were hungry.
After his last piece -- three less than Jim ate -- Blair sighed
deeply and snuggled down into the pillows, closing his eyes and
laying a hand out on the bed, palm up, near Jim.
His erection had died down again and was showing no sign of
revival.
Finishing up the last piece in the box, Jim quickly cleared
the room of their dinner, taking it downstairs to the garbage.
Blair was watching the doorway when he came back into the
room, looking worried again.
The hand on the bed was curled up now.
Resisting the urge to get out the dust-buster and do a quick
vacuum of the bed, Jim slipped in under the covers and gathered
the smaller man into his arms.
Blair stiffened but then relaxed, almost deliberately.
Releasing a slow breath, he cuddled back to Jim and sighed.
Kissing his forehead, Jim gave him a small squeeze.
"I love you, Butterfly."
He answered with stunned surprise.
"Oh, man, I love you too. Like nothing ever." It was like
Jim's words were all he needed to reassure him. He closed his
eyes and was asleep in minutes.
Jim held him, watching him, listening to his heartbeat long
into the night.
By dawn it was beating in time with his.
***
Lifting his head off the pillow, Jim instinctively pulled
the warm body in his arms closer. He thought he'd heard...yes,
there is was again, the sound of a key scratching in the lock of
the door to the condo.
He shook his head, irritated with himself.
{There's no way you can hear a key in the door downstairs}
He strained for a moment longer anyway, concentrating, but
didn't hear the sound again. Settling back down happily, he
nuzzled his lover's neck, letting his eyes drift slowly closed
and his breathing slow again.
Another sound. The stairs creaking. Only this time he was
sure he heard it.
Trying to slip quietly from his lover's arms, he was caught
for a moment as they tightened around him. Finally easing away,
he strode over to the door, yanking it open.
And came face to face with Sgt. Eli Aredondo.
They stood, each man the picture of surprise, then Eli
looked *more* surprised.
Noticing the direction of his gaze, Jim belatedly tried to
block the view of the bed with his body.
Eli's dark eyes met his briefly, before shooting away.
"Aw, Fuck, Jim!" turning away he beat a hasty retreat down
the stairs.
"Get on some clothes man, and get your ass down here." he
called up, once safely on the bottom step.
Closing the door and turning back into the room Jim noticed
Blair stirring.
"Wha..."
"Hey, go back to sleep, Butterfly. I've just got to go
downstairs for a moment." He shrugged quickly into his robe,
tying it tightly around his waist and headed back towards the
door. The lid watched him with soft sleepy eyes.
Turning suddenly, he went back to the bed to place a hard
kiss on sleepy lips.
"Good morning, lover."
He waited for the blush and wasn't disappointed.
"I'll be right back."
Closing the door behind him he made his way slowly down the
stairs, trying to gather his thoughts while cursing himself for
having given Eli a key to the place.
Walking into the living room, he moved to stand by the
window, crossing his arms over his chest.
Eli was pacing back and forth by the couch. Every now and
then he'd look up at the imposing figure back lit by the sun
streaming through the window, open his mouth, then close it
again.
Jim just stood and watched, refusing to be the one to open
this can of worms.
"You know today's the booze-up, right?" Eli decided to keep
to neutral ground to start. "But I guess maybe you'd forgotten,
mind being occupied with other *things* and all." he fairly spat
the last words out, his resolve failing.
Face turning to granite, Jim remained silent. Eli swallowed.
He knew that look.
"The guys were anxious to get going, so I figured I'd come
and get you. I never expected...expected. Aw, *fuck*, Jim!
There's a *boy* in your bed!"
Letting the silence stretch in the morning haze, Jim fixed a
stony eye on his angry sergeant. The other man resumed his
pacing, unable to sustain eye-contact with his friend.
"Why didn't you ring the bell, Eli?" Jim's tone accused.
"Why the hell didn't you just ring the bell?"
Aredondo had the good grace to look embarrassed.
"I wanted to wake you." he mumbled. Gesturing over to the
gym bag that lay by the stairs, "It's full of jello." he
explained sheepishly. "The guys made it up last night, you know
-- thanks for getting us back in one piece and all that."
The gesture seemed suddenly childish and more than a little
suggestive in light what he'd seen in the lieutenant's bed.
Jim looked non-plussed. From the moment he'd walked in the
door two night's ago, he'd totally forgotten anything not
directly related to the kid. He'd forgotten his tired muscles,
and aching feet. He'd forgotten the traditional weekend
booze-up, which followed every mission, large or small.
And he'd certainly forgotten the requisite pranks that
ensued.
He sighed deeply.
The noise caught Eli's attention, he stopped pacing again
and waited for Jim's explanation.
"Look, Eli, I'm sorry you walked in on me - us. But,
really, it's none of your business. I'm in the privacy of my own
home. I don't need to explain myself to anyone."
Looking as if he'd been sucker-punched, Eli just stared at
him in disbelief.
"I don't believe you, man. Putting aside the fact that
that's just a *kid* in your bed, a kid, *sir*!" he stressed the
honorific brutally. "Let's not forget exactly whose army it is
you're in. There is no way people are going to ignore the fact
that you're a homosexual. "You know I don't care what you get up
to on your own time. And you're right, it's not my business, but
you have got to be more discrete!"
Pausing for breath, he didn't even look at Jim, just
stared at the wall past him. His lieutenant knew him well enough
to know that the way he was fisting his hands meant he was
struggling for control. All of the guys in his unit had problems
with their tempers...it made them brave soldiers. And intolerant
ones, as Eli reminded when he dragged a deep breath and
continued.
"What if the guys had been with me, Jim? Jesus, they'd
have dragged you and the kid out into the streets." he sounded
resigned now, less angry.
"Are you done?" More of a statement than a question, the
words were clipped, precise, quiet. Eli swallowed once, but
stood his ground. Looked his friend right in the eye. Jim felt
ashamed, enough to loosen his stern stance. Eli was right, he
should have remembered. At least long enough to make sure that
something like this didn't happen.
The guys couldn't really hurt him, he'd taken all of them
hand-to-hand more than once, but in a group....and what they
could have done to Blair...he ran both hands over his face and
rubbed briskly.
"I should have thought...thought it through better." he
admitted.
Eli took several steps closer, the earnest loyalty that was
his trademark clear on his face.
"I'll help you get him out of town. We'll put him on a bus
or a plane, send him down to that school he's supposed to go
to...he'll be fine and no-one will-""
"No! That's not what I meant!" Jim snapped, cutting his
best friend off. "I should have planned it better. Told you guys
to lay off this weekend. Hell, changed the damn lock!" realizing
that he was shouting, he took a deep breath and shook his head.
Eli was just looking at him. Being yelled at by Lt. Ellison
was nothing new.
"Everything I said and all you can say is you should have
changed the damned lock? With all due respect, *sir*, you're not
thinking with the right head here."
"Look, Dondo." the affectionate nickname resurfaced. "This
isn't a casual thing for me...I love him. More than I love the
army."
"That's good," Eli snarled, grabbing his bag of jello and
heading for the door. "because you *know* you can't have both!"
he slammed the door behind him when he left.
Jim went to the window and looked out the curtains as he
climbed into the truck with the other men.
Unconsciously he listened to their conversation, not even
thinking about how odd it was that he could hear it.
"Man, I expected to see Ellison on your tail!" the driver
shouted.
Aredondo dropped the still-full bag into the back seat.
"I didn't do it. He's not feeling too good." he said, his
face blank.
"Damn hippie kid made him sick, huh?" another guy smirked.
"Prolly gave him AIDS." Harper crowed. "You can get it from
living with them, y'know."
There were loud comments of assent and Jim caught a clear
glance from Eli. He knew his friend couldn't really see him but
Eli knew he was watching.
"Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out!" one of the guys
yelled. The driver turned the key and hollered as the engine
roared.
"Gimme a cadence!"
"I got it!" Harper bellowed as the engine settled and the
truck pulled out. At the top of his lungs he called the first
lines of a marching drill, ranger-style:
"My boots are too loose, ny pants are too tight..." and all
the other men in the vehicle, including a gamely smiling Eli,
shouted the response:
"My balls are swinging from left to right!"
"Sound off!
Jim leaned his forehead against the wall beside the window
as his unit drove down the street waking the neighbors.
"One, two three, four...!
Catching a noise from the top of the stairs, Jim looked up
to find Blair sitting there, wrapped in a sheet, arms hugging
himself tightly.
"How much did you hear?" he took the steps three at a time
to stop in front of the teenager and gently offer his arms. After
a second of indecision Blair stood and snuggled close, still
using both hands to hold the blanket.
"I didn't hear any of it. Just the door slamming. Who was
that?" A snuffled sigh against his chest.
"Eli. He snuck in to pull a practical joke. I forgot, I
should have called them and told them I wouldn't be coming
today."
Tilting his head back to look up at him, Blair looked
troubled.
"You should go if you want to. I'm okay here by myself. As
long as I know you're coming back."
"No way, Butterfly. Leave you alone today? You'll be lucky
if i let you use the john without an audience." rewarded with the
expected blush, Jim leaned to nuzzle at the slender neck, kissing
it softly. "Maybe, if you're really nice to me, I'll let you
escape for just a few minutes..." he knew the kid wasn't ready
to share the bathroom, not that he had any real desire to.
Teasing him was just fun.
It had been a long time since he felt like teasing a lover.
{It's been a long time since I was in love.} he corrected.
Then, surprising himself, he leaned and scooped the kid into his
arms.
"Aww, man!" Blair giggled. "Man, what am I, a princess?
C'mon, man, don't *carry* me..."
"You got the wrong equipment for a princess there, kid.
You're my butterfly, too beautiful to set foot to the ground when
you don't have to." he paused at the top of the stairs, just to
be sure. The kid was still giggling, he wasn't fighting in any
way.
{Yeah, he likes it.} Unable to resist, he kissed the
giggling mouth, tender brushes of lips on lips, until the grin
faded and was replaced by something akin to wonder.
"Wanna go back to bed?" Jim rumbled.
"Ohhh.....yes, please." he said it like a schoolboy and Jim
growled, giving him a quick, hard kiss, then carried them through
the door.
*****
When Jim went back to work Monday morning he was tense.
Though he really didn't think Eli would have done something that
low, it was still possible that his friend's sense of honor had
overdosed.
But there were no sideways looks, no mocking glances. Just
the usual ribald teasing about the women he'd missed and the way
his age was showing. Eli did avoid him, went to lunch alone and
skipped the workout he usually shared, leaving Jim stuck with
Harper all to himself.
He'd invited Harper to join them a long time ago, to bond
and set a good example for the loud-mouthed rookie. Now he was
stuck alone with him, and his snide remarks about Blair, for two
hours.
Somehow he avoided first degree murder, but it was a near
thing.
{Actually,} he mused driving home, {It would have been
second-degree...I didn't exactly plan it out. If the jury heard
that last crack about gutless hippie pansies, I bet I'd've gotten
in down to manslaughter. Involuntary, even.}
He grinned widely as he pulled into the driveway,
anticipating his homecoming.
After the fuss Saturday morning, the kid had again been
unsure and endearingly awkward. But he'd gotten over it pretty
quickly. Jim marveled at the ease he was adapting with.
He marveled over the fact that he was letting somebody call
him 'Jim.'
They didn't have much planned for the night. The kid was
making lasagne. Then they were going to watch a basketball game.
And then they would go to bed and Jim would teach his young lover
more about his body, and what it could feel.
***
It was like the days and nights were melting together. As
hard as he tried to lock them into his memory, they were all so
perfect he could barely tell when one ended and another began
Climbing out of bed sinfully late, even for summer vacation,
Blair stretched and sighed.
Turning in front of the mirror, he blushed although there
was no one there to see him. Jim had slipped out of the bed
almost seven hours earlier, just past dawn, not three hours after
they finally fell asleep.
The faint red marks on his hips reminded him too strongly of
the passion they had shared and they way Jim had made him feel.
Just kissing him and stroking his cock with his fingertips, for
what seemed like hours....
Blair had moaned and thrashed and finally begged....and Jim
had let him come.
Staring at those marks, which would fade soon, he decided
that he needed to do something to Jim.
{I've been passive long enough.} just the thought made him
swallow and blush hotter. {I can give that back to him, can't I?}
a long, hard look at himself in the mirror.
Without Jim standing behind him, Jim's strong arms around
him, he couldn't see the beauty the other man did.
Just a short, skinny kid...hipbones that protruded too much,
cheekbones that cut his face into sharp relief...who really,
really needed a shave.
That made him grin. His mom had always told him that he
could date as soon as he started shaving every day.
He'd started shaving daily at twelve.
{Too bad the rest of puberty didn't come with the hair.} he
sighed. It would be nice to be taller, to be heavier, to be
stronger.... {But Jim loves me the way I am. He sees things in me
I don't.} Shaking his head, his tangled hair flying in his face,
he decided that it was time he tried to give some of that back to
the man he loved.
Armed with his determination, Blair made his way to the
Lawton public library. Thank god he knew the library of congress
system, and how to read a card catalogue, he never would have
been able to ask a reference librarian for the books he was
looking for.
As it was, he armed himself with archeological reference
tomes before furtively gathering together the three gay love
titles the library carried and ensconcing himself in a private
corner. Checking frequently for invaders, he read quickly, making
mental notes as he went.
There was one scare when an elderly library volunteer came
right up to him and peered intently at his pile of books, but she
moved on without saying a word and he let his breath out in a
rush before increasing the pace he was reading at.
A couple of hours later he let himself back into the condo,
arms brimming with groceries, head overflowing with ideas. Groin
flooded with hot blood.
He had been a little worried at the outset, that he wouldn't
be able to go through with pleasuring Jim, but if his current
state was anything to go by, it wasn't going to be a problem.
He shivered again as his mind went over all the
possibilities presented to him in those three little books. He
never knew there were so many ways... Though some of them were
disturbing and some outright disgusting...
{Dinner.} he told himself firmly.
Spending the last of the afternoon chopping and slicing and
dicing, he let his mind play out several scenarios in his mind.
In each he was, of course, both beautiful and a brilliant
lover, making Jim scream out his name in abject joy.
He was just finishing up the rice when he heard the door
open and slam closed.
Blair waited for it...
"Honey I'm ho-o-ome!" ..and grinned as Jim called out to
him.
Bounding into the living room, he wrapped his arms around
the older man and leaned up to plant a sloppy wet kiss on his
lover's lips. Jim returned the kiss with enthusiasm, leaving it
up to Blair to pull reluctantly away.
"Stove on!" thrown over his shoulder as he went back into
the kitchen, to finish up the meal and get it on the table as Jim
helped.
Not tasting a bite, Blair ate sparingly, too excited and
worried about the upcoming evening. He abandoned, revised and
invented knew scenarios almost constantly. Looking for that one
with which he would be most comfortable. Now that Jim was sitting
across from him, he wondered at his own audacity.
{What did I know about making love?} Sure he *knew* the
theory, but this wasn't a classroom, it was real life, plain and
simple and complicated as that.
By the time he was doing the dishes, Jim quietly drying them
beside him, he had to work hard to keep his hands from trembling.
Dishes done, he was startled when the strong arms came around
from behind him and lifted him gently in the air, bringing the
delectable neck up to hungry lips.
As Jim whispered his own evening plans into Blair's ear, his
trembling increased. And he knew he would do this for his lover.
He would do anything for this man.
He would let Jim lead him up the stairs and into the
bedroom, but, once there, it would be his show.
****
Standing next to the bed they worked at each other's
buttons. It would have been easier to just do their own, but Jim
enjoyed unwrapping his *package* so much that they'd fallen into
the habit of doing it every evening.
Laughing nervously as his fingers fumbled more than usual,
Blair finally let Jim bat away his hands and finish the job
himself.
Using the small break he took several deep calming breaths
and let his mind focus on the muscled chest that was slowly being
revealed.
He closed his eyes, going over his outline one more time.
{You love this man, you can do this.}
Opening his eyes again to the heady sight of his naked
lover, Blair gently pushed the older man back onto the bed.
{Yes I can} he thought as a sudden calm enveloped him. It
was just...right.
Jim looked up at him in surprise at this turn of events, but
let the younger man place him. Giggling a bit nervously, Blair
clambered up over the older man, resting his knees on either
side of his hips. Going for sensuous and seductive, he figured
he'd have to make do with not falling.
Bolstered by Jim's obvious delight at being straddled by his
body, he began.
Raining butterfly kisses along the long neck of his lover,
he supported himself with one hand and let the other trail over
the older man's arm.
A little startled, Jim had to think for a few minutes about
this. He let Blair pet him and smiled at him encouragingly. Did
he mind that Blair was getting a little less passive?
Attempting to suppress a grin, not wanting to telegraph his
next move, Blair suddenly nipped at the older man's neck, where
it joined his collarbone. He quickly followed the small bite with
soothing licks of his tongue.
"Hey!" big hands rose off the bed as if to grab him, but
fell back. "What was that for?"
"um..." mumbling incomprehensibly only the last word was
decipherable, "contrast?" Backing away slightly, face closed,
Blair felt like he was 12 years old again.
It was that unsure look on his face that got to Jim.
{I don't want a toy.} he decided. Though he adored his
passive, shy lover, he was entirely willing to let his Butterfly
spread his wings a little.
"I like contrast." he whispered, bringing one hand up to
tangle in the dangling curls. "Anything else you want to try?
Fair game here, sweetness."
"You sure? You seemed so surprised." Feeling a little
better he snuggled a little closer again.
An easy roll of the shoulder under his head as Jim shrugged.
"And I wasn't sure, I mean the library only..." suddenly
realizing what he was giving away, his voice trailed off.
"More excited than surprised, I promise, Butterfly." a large
hand settled on his back, and Jim made a choked sound.
"Are you okay, man? Do you need a glass of water?
Straddling the older man again, this time out of concern, Blair
gazed down at him.
The choke became a reluctant laugh. Jim cuddled the young
man close again, not wanting him to be embarrassed.
"You went to the library to read about sex?" he sounded
more flattered than teasing.
"Well I haven't exactly had a lot of experience, you know?"
his voice defensive, slightly muffled against the broad chest.
Lifting himself on all fours again he complained "This isn't very
romantic. I wanted it to be romantic."
"I know, and I love it."
"I'm pretty pathetic at this, aren't I?"
Seeing the distress on the fair face, Jim settled back into
the pillows, smiling up at him.
"I'm sorry. I'm not exactly helping here. You're wonderful,
Butterfly. No one has ever given me as much as you do. I would be
happy if things stayed exactly the same... and I'm happy if you
want to do more." He hoped the words and the smile were enough to
soothe his young lover into continuing.
"I want...I want to make you tremble like you make me
tremble." Not looking at the older man, he made the confession
softly.
Cradling Blair's face in his large hands, Jim spoke
reverently.
"You do make me tremble." his eyes darkened as he spoke.
"When you kiss me, I tremble. When you cling to me and moan my
name...I tremble."
"Jim..." Soft, reverent, happy.
"When you just look at me -- with all the love in the world
in your eyes...I tremble so long and so hard that you can't tell
because I've been doing it since the first time you touched me."
A thumb stroked the length of a cheekbone. "And when you tremble
for me...ah, Butterfly." Unable to say more, the big man parted
his lips in invitation, not reaching to take his love, but
waiting to be taken.
Dropping his head slowly, Blair's lips met the ones that had
just made his toes curl. No one had ever made him feel so totally
the center of their universe like that.
Jim was pliant, letting him take control of the kiss.
Deepening the kiss, Blair began once again to run a hand up
and down a muscled arm.
Making an approving noise in the back of his throat Jim
kissed back harder, lifting his head from the pillows, but didn't
move otherwise.
Backing away slightly to soften the kiss again, the younger
man lightened his touch, using only his fingertips to feather
along a hard biceps. A shiver ran through the body beneath him.
"Mmmmm."
The shiver echoed inside him as a surge of confidence. *He*
made this man shiver. Pulling gently on the succulent lower lip,
he gently closed his teeth over it and slowly bit down.
Jim hissed but he didn't pull away. His eyes closed again
and his body tensed, hands moving restlessly on the bed.
Becoming more bold, Blair licked a path from lips to ear,
alternately nipping and blowing against the lobe. He sat his
weight back onto Jim and used both hands to trail gentle paths
from chin to abdomen.
Panting slowly, Jim had to do something. He brought his
hands
to rest on Blair's waist, holding lightly, just needing the
contact.
"That's wonderful, Blair. I love your hands...such delicate
hands, but so strong..."
Outlining each muscle on the older man's chest, Blair
occasionally lightened his touch to almost nothing, other times
he would rake his nails across the sensitized flesh.
Jim arched slightly with each rake and relaxed with every
feather-touch, panting faster now.
"You like this don't you?" whispering with something close
to awe, Blair lifted his head a moment to watch the effect his
hands were having on the older man.
"Yes - don't stop!"
Grinning, Blair did exactly that. He lifted his hips.
"Roll over" he urged. Jim did, without hesitation. His
earlier doubts about letting Blair be in control had faded
rapidly. Now the thought of his young lover making love to him
was the most exciting thing he cold think of. He would miss the
bashful boy he'd first touched, but figured he wasn't gone for
good.
Sitting on Jim's ass, Blair began to torture the skin in
front of him with his hands and his lips. Running his fingers
back and forth over the nape of his neck, he would swoop in every
now and then to suck the flesh into his mouth.
Jim's hips bucked and he grunted, his weight on his
engorged cock a secondary torture, nearly as pleasant.
"Yeah...like that, Butterfly."
Letting his hands trail down to run lazy circles in the
small of Jim's back, Blair licked and blew on his neck.
"harder." Jim whispered the single word, worried about
spooking the kid but aching to feel some real pressure.
"*harder*."
Taking Jim at his word, Blair bit down on his shoulder, hard
enough to leave teeth marks.
"Ah!" A bark and then a sigh. "Yeah..."
Moving to mark the other shoulder in the same manner, Blair
brought one hand up to barely touch the shoulder he'd just
bitten.
"god, you're good...god i love you..." panting, Jim tried to
tell Blair how much he liked what the kid was doing. "Just
knowing it's you touching me..." He was already close, and he
never came this soon.
Emboldened by Jim's words, Blair continued his strategy of
bite and tease, varying the strength and lightness of the touch,
as well as the order in which he dispensed it. Jim bucked and
groaned, fighting the urge to roll back over and grab the kid
close.
{This is his show...even if it kills me.}
Working his way down to the firm buttocks, Blair groaned as
his cock slid against the backs of Jim's legs as he shifted
downwards. He had been concentrating so hard on making Jim feel
good, he hadn't realized how hard he was himself.
Biting down on one asscheek, he let his fingers tease the
crease where cheek met thigh.
"Ah - Blair!" Jim's hips jerked and his biceps bulged as he
reached for the headboard of the bed.
"How am I doing man?" The question sending his breath
skittering across the cleft.
"Just fine, Butterfly. Just fine." he blew out an explosive
gust of air.
"*just* fine?" he questioned indignantly as he moved back up
Jim's body and laid heavily upon the older man.
"You're doing terrible, wonderful things to me." grinning
and turning his head as far as he could, Jim moved sinuously
beneath him. "And I'm loving every minute."
Grinning happily, Blair undulated a couple of times,
stopping abruptly when he realized that he was dangerously close
to coming.
"Ohhh.....keep going, Butterfly, please..."
"Turn over." he ordered, voice straining with suddenly
urgent need.
{Again?!} too far gone to argue, Jim flipped right over,
strength substituting for grace. He reached for Blair, grabbed
his hips tight, then stopped and grit his teeth.
"Your show." he panted. "You're in charge."
"Uh huh" mumbling distractedly, Blair rapidly aligned his
body so that his cock met Jim's.
The big body arched high, lifting him.
"God!" a bark of need.
Jim's fingers dug into the slender hips as he fought for
control.
Running over the clinical descriptions of various sexual
acts in order to distract himself, Blair began to thrust his
hips.
{I am not going to come before he does.} He told himself
distinctly.
Meeting every thrust, Jim knew he was too close to last
long. A single clear thought filled his mind;
{I'm going to come first and show him what he does to me.}
Varying the speed and strength of his thrust for only a
moment or two, Blair quickly abandoned that portion of his plan
for straight out friction. There was little lubrication, but that
didn't matter. All that mattered was the kid's thundering heart,
the surging tide of pleasure that was rising in him, and the
brilliant blue eyes that he locked his own with as he gasped his
love.
Gritting his teeth, Blair tried to hold the tide at bay. He
lowered his head and grasped a nipple between his lips and sucked
roughly.
Jim jerked, and gasped, and grunted, then shouted as release
pounded through him and he spurted all over the kid's cock and
belly.
"Blair! Oh, love!"
The splash of semen around his cock making him shudder,
Blair let himself go with relief, swallowing his shout with a
mouth full of Jim's flesh.
"Aaaaagh!" the move brought a last jerk and shudder from the
older man.
He collapsed onto the Jim's chest, panting harshly.
"Wow." speaking quietly, almost reverently, Blair's voice
was filled with awe. "I made you come."
"You *killed* me, Butterfly. I had no idea something so
pretty could be so dangerous."
"I made you shiver and tremble and loose control and shout
out my name.."
Extending a single finger, Jim stroked down the angle of the
kid's nose and over his lips to his chin, then applied pressure
to bring his face down.
"Just you, Butterfly. All it takes is you." he breathed
before kissing him, taking his mouth with gentle force.
Exhausted, Blair happily surrendered control of the kiss to
Jim.
And Jim kissed him senseless.
****
Although the next few days followed the same pattern they'd
established, there was a subtle shift in dynamics. No longer as
timid, his successful venture into the art of making his lover
beg boosting his self confidence, Blair was nonetheless, still
in his first sexual relationship.
Charmingly bashful, endearingly shy. Ten percent confidence
and ninety percent nerves.
He did, however, feel freer to make suggestions, initiate
Love-play. He would try to ignore the rush of heat whenever Jim
made him blush, teasing him. It didn't bother him so much as he
began to realize how much the older man loved it.
In fact, the odd time he found himself deliberately placing
himself in situations where Jim could tease him. Just to watch
the look on the older man's face as he blushed hotly.
"Come on Jim, it'll be fun!"
Jim watched his young lover bounding across the open
field, lips pursing as he wondered just how he'd been talked into
*this*.
"You do remember fun don't you old man?" Deliberately
baiting his lover, Blair stood poised, bouncing slightly on feet
ready to spring into action if Jim rose to the bait.
Arms folding across his chest, Jim took in the landscape,
if he could only keep himself distracted he could avoid being
backed into a corner every time the kid asked for something.
Scrub trees, red dirt, twisted mesquite, and a blue sky as
high and as wide as you could see.
And a blazing orange sun beating down, like some
magnificent radioactive pumpkin.
Eyes drawn back to the dancing figure in front of him, he
decided the day was too nice to waste arguing.
"Fine. We'll play hide and go seek, but it's a hell of a
way to spend my day off."
Blair jumped up and down excitedly in front of him.
"You'll like it Jim, I *promise*. It's just like when you
were a kid, only there's a couple of new rules."
Eyes narrowing, Jim softly repeated Blair's last words "new
rules?"
"Well...first of all, you're not allowed to use your Ranger
magic to track me."
"Ranger magic, butterfly?"
"Yeah, you know all that *stuff* they taught you how to do."
"It gives you too big an advantage."
Sighing deeply, Jim nodded tersely.
"Fine no magic, what else."
"Well, every time a you get caught away from "home" the
person whose it gets to remove an article of your clothing."
"In public, butterfly? I don't think so."
"Come on Jim, it'll be fun"
Holding up his hands, Jim shook his head.
"This is where we started, isn't it?"
"Yeah, yeah." Blair groused good-naturedly. "How come I knew
you weren't going to go for that one?"
"Don't you get enough at home?" Jim chided gently.
Blushing deeply, Blair looked at the ground for a moment.
He'd set himself up for that one -- without even meaning to. But
soon he shot his lover an impish look and shaking his head,
turned to run across the earth, shouting over his shoulder. "It's
your own fault, big guy! And you're it!" he added, laughing as he
heard Jim's shout of protest.
Closing his eyes, counting to twenty, still not quite
believing he was out in the heat playing this silly game on his
day off, Jim tried to remember the rules. The *real* rules. The
ones he'd internalized at about six.
{All I have to do to win is see him, right? He's got to make
it back to the free-tree and touch it saying...what was that
nonsense phrase again? Or wait, do I have to tag him?}
"Blair." Calling out was futile, no way was the kid going to
answer him and give away his position.
Jim tried to remember the rules. Sighing in the heat, he
looked around, trying to figure out in which direction the kid
would have gone.
{Olli olli all home free, that was it.} Shaking his head to
clear it of the childish voices sing-songing in his head, he
turned as he caught some movement out of the corner of his eye.
But when he turned to look he couldn't see anything.
From his hiding place in a patch of brush, Blair peeked. He
could barely make out Jim's form, standing still.
{Maybe I've made it too hard.} he worried. (I mean, I do
want him to find me...eventually.}
Narrowing his eyes, Jim concentrated as something moved in
the distance.
{Yes!} Grinning in triumph, he began to casually walk in
Blair's direction. It was only after he'd been walking a few
minutes when he realized that Blair was a long way off. And he
could see him as plain as day. {What the fuck?}
Hunkering farther down, Blair watched through a screen of
brambles. The ranger was heading in his direction, but he wasn't
coming the way Blair had, around behind the line of boulders...
{What the fuck?}
Shaking his head he looked over towards the brush where he'd
seen Blair. Nothing. Narrowing them again, sure enough there he
was. He stood there watching as Blair breathed, trying to figure
out what was going on.
{He can *see* me!} the thought bright a surge of silly
panic, and then doubt. {No way. I', like, a half-mile away.
There's *no way* he can see me. He's just looking this way.}
He imagined he could hear each breath as Blair took it. He
*could* hear each breath as Blair took it.
{No. No. No. No. No. Snap out of it Jim}
Maybe that sun was frying his brain faster than he thought.
He was sure he was imagining things. Blair was probably halfway
back to call out home free by now, having hidden in exactly the
opposite direction from the one he was taking. But just to prove
it to himself, he took off at a run, straight for where he'd
imagines the lithe figure of his lover.
{I better start getting around him.} Blair was choosing a
route when the big man broke into a run. He was only a blur on
the flat prairie to the younger man, but that blur was taking on
Jim-shape way too fast. {Aw, shit!}
On hands and knees Blair crawled through the underbrush as
fast as he could, going deeper into it and seeking a way out on
the other side before his lover caught up with him.
{How the hell did he see me?!}
Jim came to stop in front of the brush. He could see Blair
scurrying away from him.
{He's here. He's here and I fucking saw him from like half
a mile away. How-in-the-hell did I see him?}
Bursting from the brush on the other side, Blair threw him a
wide-eyed look and turned tail, running like a young gazelle, in
leaps and bounds.
"Blair?" Voice sounding weak and quavery to his own ears,
Jim sank slowly to his knees and put his head in his hands.
The lack of pursuit registered quickly and he stopped,
turned, panting, only to see his lover going to his knees,
looking distressed. His name floated on the sodden air.
"Wha - *Jim*!" he was beside him as fast as he could be,
tearing right through the bramble patch, tearing skin and clothes
in the passage. He slammed to his knees in front of the bigger
man and gingerly reached for him, but his hands paused in mid-air.
Now his head was filled with the sound of Blair's heartbeat,
loud and strong.
"Jim....man, what is it?"
Bellowing in pain, Jim's hands went to his ears. "stop
shouting..." he whispered.
"I -" biting back the automatic denial, Blair opened his
mouth again to whisper, as softly as he could, "What's wrong,
man? Did you get stung? Something bite you? Are you allergic to
bee stings?"
"No no no..." the older man was moaning.
One small hand went to the ground to support the slender
body as Blair leaned forward, the other brushed against Jim's
forehead, very delicately.
"Shhh...it's okay." Scooting closer, Blair closed his arms
over Jim's shoulders and held him, not tightly. "Tell me what
hurts."
"Everything is too much, it's all too much, colors, noise,
smells." Raising agonized eyes to the young man's face he begged
"Make it stop!"
"Jim, man, I don't understand." Still holding him, Blair
leaned back and kissed Jim's eyelids, just a brush of his lips.
He might be new to sex, but he was very comfortable with
Care-giving. "Look at me, please. Let me see your eyes." he begged
softly.
Shaking his head slightly Jim pouted.
"*hurts*."
"Okay, then. Just take a deep breath...c'mon, man, do it for
me..." Blair demonstrated by sucking in a great lungful of air
and holding it for a few seconds, then releasing it slowly.
Following the only thing that still made senses to him, Jim
slowly took in the breath before carefully letting it out again.
"Good, like that. Do it again, Jim." Blair urged, breathing with
him. His arms loosened and his hands slid over the broad back
soothingly.
This was strange. He knew he should be worried, be
frightened, but all he cared about was taking care of Jim.
{That's not strange.} his mind scolded. {That's love.}
Jim complied. Soon all he could hear was their breathing
together.
"Jim? You better now, man?"
Slowly opening his eyes, Jim gave a little smile when he
wasn't assaulted by the landscape.
"Yeah. Yeah, that's much better."
Blair's sweet, worried face hovered in front of his own.
"What...what happened? It was like you saw me...from that far
away..."
"I...I did." The confession was ripped from him.
"What?" Blair hadn't expected Jim to tell him *that*.
"All of a sudden, I could see you, as close as you seem now.
And I could hear your heartbeat, and your breath...And it seemed
like everything was assaulting me.
Running a soothing hand very gently up and down the bigger
man's back, Blair kept drawing in and out loud slow breaths.
He idly watched the rise and fall of Jim's chest as the older
man followed his rhythm, trying to wrap his head around what Jim
had just told him.
It seemed fantastic, and yet he'd sat here and watched it
happen before his very eyes.
Though he'd read just about everything he could get his hands on
for years, he'd never heard of anything like this.
"Look Jim, lets just get back home, we'll deal with whatever
this is in familiar surroundings."
Dropping back to his knees, he gently shook his unresponsive
lover.
"Jim. Jim. You still with me man?"
Becoming more than a little worried as the older man continued
to stare at nothing, Blair shook him a little harder.
"Come on, Jim, man. Don't make me hit you."
Blair did not want to have to slap the older man, but he could
hear his breath becoming shallower and he was really beginning to
worry about him.
"JIM." he shouted this time.
With a sudden gasping intake of breath, Jim shook his head
and turned towards the young man.
"Blair?"
"Jesus, Jim, you had me scared."
"What happened?" The older man seemed confused.
"You just kind of, oh I don't know -zoned out on me."
"Zoned out?"
"Yeah, you know, eyes glazed over, nobody home..."
He trailed off.
"Let's get home butterfly." Jim's rough voice interrupted his
thoughts and Blair bounded to his feet, pulling the bigger man up
after him.
"Yep, home Jim." Blair grinned briefly at his own joke
before sobering again.
"I'm gonna drive though, I don't want you flaking out on me
like that while we're doing 60 on the highway."
"I don't think that'll be necessary butterfly, everything's
back to normal again. I'm sure I'll be just fine.
But Blair hung back.
Tugging impatiently on his arm, Jim finally threw up his hands
and glared at the younger man.
"I won't get into a car where the driver has had too much to
drink, and I'm not getting into the car five minutes after you've
just spent several minutes staring unresponsively into space!"
"I don't see what one has to do with the other" complained
Jim.
"Either could get me killed." Blair snapped back.
Jim pursed his lips and frowned.
But when they got to the truck he wordlessly got in the
passenger side, passing Blair the keys as the younger man slipped
behind the wheel
Arriving back at the condo, Blair shut off the engine and passed
the keys back to Jim.
He spent several long moments just watching the older man.
Jim watched back.
After enduring the intense stare of blue eyes for countless
minutes, Jim finally broke the silence.
"What?"
"Nothing" replied Blair, "I was just looking."
With a grunt at that, Jim got out of the truck, slamming the
door loudly behind him.
Blair followed, trotting quickly behind him.
Closing the door behind him, Blair almost tripped over Jim's
t-shirt.
The older man had stripped it off and left it where it dropped.
Blair followed a trail comprising of the rest of the older
man's clothes all the way up to the bathroom.
Jim was starting the shower. At Blair's questioning look he
shrugged apologetically.
"Sorry butterfly, I'm just so dirty" pointing down to his mucky
knees to prove his point. "And my skin feels all crawly, like
I've got bugs all over me or something."
"Do you mind if I join you?" Blair asked softly.
Jim's warm smile answered him and Blair quickly stripped off
his own clothes.
Taking the washcloth from Jim's nerveless fingers, Blair soaped
and rinsed his lover.
His desire to comfort the older man soon led to passion.
Jim's pale face had almost returned to normal by the time they
ran out of hot water.
Blair towelled him down gently and let him into the bedroom.
"How are you feeling?"
Grinning, Jim grabbed the younger man by the waist, pulling him
into his body.
"Great now." he smiled his answer into Blair's mouth.
He laughed as he felt Blair's cock stir against him. "Don't
you ever get enough butterfly?"
Blair blushed on cue.
"I'm sorry.." he almost mumbled it, hiding his face on the
smooth chest. "It's just you. . .y'know, you make me feel....I
never felt like this before." he stumbled through an awkward
explanation and finally shushed.
Still chuckling, Jim changed the embrace into a hug.
"I love you butterfly. And I love that I can do that to you."
"What make me blush or make me..." he trailed off, the color
in his cheeks renewing.
"Both butterfly, both!" Jim was laughing again.
"Ah..." he sighed as his laughter finally faded.
"It's been a long time since I've been free to laugh like that
butterfly."
Blair smiled up at the bigger man and pushed him gently toward
his dresser.
"Get dressed." he ordered playfully.
"That's not what you usually say." Jim supplied his line
easily. "What have you got in mind?" he asked as he put on a
clean pair of boxers and shorts, leaving his chest bare in
deference to the heat. {Sure big guy, you just keep telling
yourself you're running around half-naked because of the heat}
He watched with enjoyment as Blair dressed, and tried not to
look too disappointed when the young man put on a tank tee,
covering the hair-roughened chest.
"Well," Blair spoke slowly. "I thought maybe we should try
and figure out what happened to you out there today."
He'd known that Jim would protest so he was ready when Jim
tried to downplay it.
"Think man, what are you going to do if this happens while
you're on a mission? If you freeze up like that again, Jim,
you'll be dead meat."
Realizing the sense in what Blair was saying, Jim acquiesced
with only a little bad grace.
"I thought we were going to test the springs on my mattress."
"We'll do that -- again -- later, big guy.: Blushing again,
but not rising to the bait, Blair took the older man's hand and
led him downstairs.
"Okay I'm gonna say something now, okay?" Blair yelled down
from where he'd climbed into the attic.
"Okay." Jim yelled back, feeling stupid as he sat on the couch
waiting for Blair to speak.
They'd been at this for over 20 minutes and he was, quite
frankly getting tired of it and more than a little annoyed
Blair had asked him a whole bunch of questions he hadn't been
able to answer, and then he'd started this ridiculous game.
Blair had been in the front yard, the back yard, the bathroom
with the water running...
And Jim had heard him in each place.
As amazing as that was, he was tired o fit now, and didn't want
to play anymore.
He perked up a bit as Blair's softly spoken words reached his
ears from the attic and he grinned as he felt his cock harden.
As if he'd known that Jim was getting fed up, he'd turned the
game into foreplay.
Jim was still grinning when he came bounding down the stairs,
dust and cobwebs trailing after him.
"So you heard that." It wasn't really a question as Blair came
over and gently patted the growing erection in Jim's pants.
"Hold that thought." He ordered before going on to begin
describing what he had planned for the next game.
Jim stared at him in disbelief as the younger man outlined a
batch of visual acuity tests.
"okay, butterfly, you can hold it right there. I think we've
done enough tests for today."
"But Jim..." cutting the younger man off before he could go
any further, Jim closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"I've had enough for one day. Okay"
Blair reluctantly gave in, but promised they would look into it
again when Jim wasn't feeling quite so edgy.
He flopped down on the couch next to his lover.
They spent the rest of the day lying all over each other,
munching popcorn and watching some of the golden oldies on
cable.
***
The next day Blair phoned his mother while Jim was gone. The
older man had been encouraging him to do so, not understanding
at all that Blair and his mother were very comfortable not
speaking to each other for months, with no animosity.
Indeed, he spoke of her with a depth of affection that almost
made the older man jealous.
Naomi scolded him for getting sick and was thrilled to hear that
he'd finally taken a lover, although she wasn't as pleased with
his choice.
"He's no gentle with me, Naomi." Blair sighed into the receiver,
the connection a little fuzzy. "He makes me feel special. No,
mom. he's not going to hurt me. He loves me."
"Yeah." after listening to her promises of candle-lighting
and good thoughts, he got ready to get off the line.
"Yeah, he loves me. Yeah, it's cool. I know I'll love him
forever, mom. I can *feel* it."
Another pause, and then he smiled at the empty house, playing
with a loose strand of his hair.
"Yeah, Naomi. I feel it *that* way."
That conversation kept him buoyant through the rest of the day.
He cleaned the condo, as much as it needed, and ran laundry,
before calling Texas A&M and speaking to the man who would be his
advisor.
When Jim got home he was practically bouncing, in such a good
mood that the older man couldn't help but be dragged into it.
"Jim!" bounding out the front door as Jim parked, the kid
vibrated in place while he got out of the Bronco and then
attached to him like a leech.
Uncomfortable with the public display, Jim gently disengaged
him, gesturing at his uniform.
"Let me get out of the camo, Butterfly. I'm sorry, I just can't
do that." understanding lit his blue eyes and he bounced at
least three feet away.
"How about we drive to Wichita Falls and catch a movie
tonight?" Jim suggested, eyes lighting with laughter as his young
lover's antics.
"We can have a nice dinner, and there's not much chance we'll
run into anybody from here."
"Really?" another bounce, this one higher. If the kid kept
this up he was going to fly.
"Yes, really." going into the condo through the door Blair had
left open, Jim waited until it closed and then scooped him into
his arms and twirled him into the living room.
"God, Kid, I've never been in love like this before! It's
amazing!"
"I know, I *know*.' Blair clung to him and then covered Jim's
mouth with his own.
Setting him down by the couch, Jim ruffled his already mussed
hair affectionately.
"So, can I take you out tonight?"
"I've never been on a date.." now Blair was bashful again, eyes
sparkling, hands going behind his back in an oddly demure
gesture.
Smiling more gently now, Jim gently pushed him back to the
couch and stood over him. he took Blair's hand in both of his.
"If this is a first, then I should ask properly, right?"
The blue eyes were as wide as he'd ever seen them....
as the kid stared up in disbelief.
"So, Blair, Blair Sandburg...I was wondering if you'd, like,
gout with me tonight? I could take you to a movie."
Memories of disastrous high school dates filled his mind as
the kid stared harder.
"Blair?"
"Y-y-yes!" the kid answered in a burst, as if he thought the
offer would be rescinded.
"So you go shower and get ready and I'll clean up down here and
then we'll go out, okay?"
The kid was still just staring.
Jim sat on the couch beside him.
Blair crawled into his lap, like a kitten, and snuggled close,
with a shiver.
"I'm tempting the gods here, man. Nobody can be this happy
without a price." he whispered the words against Jim's neck.
"Whatever the price, I'll pay it gladly." Jim answered just as
quietly. Then he kissed the top of the kid's head and set him on
the floor. "You go shower...I just need to change clothes. I'll
meet you at the door in forty-five minutes, okay?"
"Oh, yeah, man. Better than okay."
His energy reasserting itself, the kid scampered up the stairs.
***
In reality, it was more like an hour and ten minutes. And
then the kid still hadn't come down. Jimhad shaved at the
kitchen sink from his always-packed travel kit, and changed into
clean clothes from the stack on the shelf above the washer. And
then he'd waited.
And waited.
It didn't occur to him to listen, to see what the kid was
doing. Finally he stood at the bottom of the stairs and called
up.
"Blair? Hey, kid, are you okay up there? Sometime this
century, maybe?"
The voice that answered was more than usually nervous.
"Uh, yeah, Jim. I, just, uh..."
{Probably can't decide what to wear.} shaking his head,
briefly remembering his one serious girlfriend in college, Jim
started up the stairs, and then stopped, shocked at the thought.
{He's *not* a girl. What am I thinking?!}
Standing halfway up the stairs, safe in his home, more
deeply in love than he'd ever been in his life, JimEllison hit
a wall.
A *big* wall.
Built by years of social training and the industrial
strength military mindset he'd been immersed in for so long.
Jim Ellison was having a crisis.
Then his young lover spoke hesitantly, standing just outside
the bedroom door, looking down at him, worried.
"Jim? Do I...look okay?"
And it passed, with no more fanfare than an unnoticed good
deed.
"You're beautiful, Butterfly."
Taking the remaining stairs two at a time, he gently wrapped
the teenager in his arms and pressed his head to his chest.
Inhaling deeply, Jim nuzzled into the curly hair.
Blair put his arms around Jim's waist and snuggled into the
embrace. He looked much the same as always, but the shirt was
more conservative, a black long-sleeved knit, with a heavily
embroidered vest over it that tied with little leather strips.
The shirt made him look too thin, but Jim didn't care.
"Just beautiful." Pulling away, he rested an arm over the
surprisingly broad shoulders and steered him down the stairs.
"And I would have starved to death if you'd made me wait another
minute."
"I could cook something here." Blair offered immediately.
"I'm taking you *out*. That means you don't cook." grinning
widely, Jim stopped at the door to pull him close, slinging the
one arm behind his neck to hold him in place, the other grasping
his hip.
It was a possessive pose but the kid leaned into it and
opened to the kiss, delivered with the same aggressiveness. Once
again he found himself being devoured by the older man, as if Jim
was trying to brand him on every cell of his big body. Moving
closer, he whimpered low in his throat, trying to give Jim what
he wanted, everything. His hands clutched the heavy shoulders for
support as his head was forced further back and Jim's tongue
drove deeper. Then he was released, so suddenly that he almost
stumbled, Jim's hands moving to his shoulders to steady him.
"Why do you let me *do* that?" Jim looked shocked.
The kid just stared at him, eyes wide and soft, the full
mouth looking swollen, wet.
"You want it." a tiny shrug, a nervous sound, not a giggle
but not a complaint either.
"You'd do anything I want?"
Eyes still large in his face, Blair nodded slowly.
"I love you" He spoke the simple words quietly, matter of
factly, as if they said it all.
Jim's hand was shaking when he lifted it to touch the thin
face, just the back of his knuckles.
"I never dreamed of being loved this much, Butterfly."
"Well..." a small, shy smile blossomed on the kid's face.
"Now you are."
"You don't do anything halfway, do you?" aware that his
voice
was rough, Jim tugged at the shoulders and hugged him tightly.
"What did I ever do to deserve you?"
Not thinking that needed an answer, Blair hugged back until
the older man pulled away again and cuffed him gently on the side
of the head, like a big cat teasing a cub.
"Let's get out of here before we get distracted." he said
gruffly. The words were rewarded with a blush as Blair thought
them over and understanding dawned.
***
Parking in front of an upscale restaurant, Jim got out and
quickly rounded the truck to open Blair's door for him.
Blushing slightly, Blair exited the vehicle and rolled his
eyes.
"You gonna play Mr. Chivalry all night?" he asked as Jim
opened the door to the restaurant and ushered him in.
"You may return the favor when *you* ask *me* out."
Blair gulped while they waited for the maitre'd to arrive to
seat them.
"Isn't this kind of expensive Jim?" he fretted.
Waving a hand dismissively Jim smiled down at his young
lover.
"I realize that you're used to student fare, Butterfly, but
I think I can afford to spoil you."
The maitre'd finally arrived and raised a snooty eyebrow at
the two men before him.
"May I help you *gentlemen*?" asked in a haughty voice
Blair shrank slightly, Jim's arm around his waist the only
thing stopping him from turning to go.
"Yes." Jim replied in a no-nonsense voice. "Reservations
under the name Ellison, party of two."
The man's lips pursed as he slowly went over his reservation
list. Frowning slightly and looking back up again, he ran down
the list again, more slowly this time.
"Ah yes, here we are." His face clearly indicating that he'd
have been more pleased had he been unable to find the
reservation.
{You just lost any hope you had of getting a tip.} The older
man thought, though he left his face impassive.
Blair was squirming slightly on his arm. And it infuriated
him that this man was upsetting his lover. They were out on
their first date. And he wanted it to be perfect.
They followed the maitre'd to a secluded table in the far
corner of the restaurant. Jim was grinning by the time they got
there. The man was hiding them in a corner, little did he know
that tucked away was exactly where Jim wanted to be with his
lover.
"I hope Messieurs will enjoy their dinner" the maitre'd
barely looked at them as he began beat a hasty retreat.
Still smiling, Jim held Blair's chair for him.
"Monsieur." he intoned in a mock French accent.
Giggling at the older man's antics, Blair relaxed and
started to look like he was enjoying himself. Their waiter
appeared immediately. A fairly young man, he didn't appear phased
at all by the sight of two men, dinning alone together.
Rattling off the day's specials, he took their drink orders;
a virgin Caesar for Blair and a scotch for Jim.
Looking over the menu, Jim's attention turned to his lover
as he heard him gasp.
His breath hitched momentarily as he looked at his
companion. The restaurant was dimly lit, dark velvet covered the
seats and the walls were a rich dark color. Blair looked like a
sprite against the backdrop of the restaurant.
His skin seemed almost translucent and his eyes were bluer
than anything Jim had ever seen. He stared, transfixed, until the
younger man's voice broke in.
"My menu doesn't have any prices Jim!" he exclaimed.
"So? What's your point there, Butterfly?"
"That mean they are really really expensive Jim. Look, you
don't need to take me here. Why don't we just enjoy our drinks
and then go find someplace less expensive to eat."
"Butterfly. Blair. Just stop. You let me worry about how
much things are costing. I want to treat you to something
special, okay?" Taking the younger man's hand in his across the
table, Jim gave it a gentle squeeze. Blair's eyes became wider
still and a slow smile broke softly across his face.
"No one's ever treated me like this before." he admitted.
"You were made to be spoiled and pampered." Jim's words were
a caress.
Grinning at the older man, Blair spoke reluctantly.
"I didn't say I hadn't been spoiled or pampered...A lot of
mom's boyfriends figured the way to her heart was through me. So
they used to give me gifts and take me to games and stuff." He
shrugged, eyes far away, as if he was remembering. "But none of
them ever made me feel loved like you do, or that I belonged with
them. They were just putting up with me to get on mom's good
side." Jim squeezed Blair's hands.
"I do love you, Butterfly."
"And I love you, Jim."
***
Wiping his mouth on the elegant cloth napkin, Blair sighed
with satisfaction and sat back in his chair.
"I am so stuffed, man." he proclaimed.
"Considering how much you put away, I'll be surprised if you
can walk out of here under your own power." The older man
grinned to take any sting out of the words. "Are you ready to go?
We've only got a half hour before the movie starts." Standing,
Jim held out his hand to the younger man.
Noticing the snobbish maitre'd walking in their general
direction, Jim couldn't help but lean down and thoroughly kiss
the younger man.
"Come on, lover, let's head out." he spoke a little louder
than normal, and levelled a hard look at the man, as he'd come to
a full stop near their table.
They left the restaurant, not quite holding hands, and
strolled in the heavy evening air towards the movie theater.
"What are we gonna see?" Blair seemed entirely comfortable,
walking tucked close to Jim's side, even though it was still very
warm.
"There's a couple of new action flicks out...I thought one
of them. Unless you don't like that sort of thing."
"No, I do." Blair emphasized this with a quick step-bounce
combination that made Jim chuckle and grin. "Anyhow, you're in
charge tonight, big man. Whatever you want."
Tucking the younger man close again, Jim gave him a long,
loving look, and completely missed the disgusted stares of a
couple that passed them.
"I have everything I want, Butterfly."
Jim groaned and teased when Blair wanted a candy bar.
"I thought we were going for ice cream after the movie?"
"Um, both?" the big blue eyes were hopeful. Jim caved in
seconds, and got himself a coke as well.
The theater wasn't even half-full, on a weeknight. Every
other row of seats had a double on the end, and Jim led Blair to
one of them, nodding when the kid looked up, questioning.
"Man, I could get used to this." the kid sighed and snuggled
under his arm, his head on Jim's shoulder. They were just in
time, the previews started just as they got comfortable.
Blair was intrigued by the premise of the movie, and felt
the need to tell Jim so. Unused to being with someone who talked
during movies, Jim shushed him after the kid had whispered
several times.
Only a few minutes later, he glanced over, and saw that
Blair was watching the movie.
Sitting still.
Not smiling anymore.
{God, I'm an asshole.}
Tightening his arm around the kid's shoulders, Jim leaned
to whisper into his ear, kissing behind it softly.
"I'm sorry, baby. I'm just a jerk sometimes. Forgive me?"
A worried glance, and then a slender hand slid up to cover
his own. The curly head nestled closer on his shoulder and the
kid sighed.
"Yeah, of course. I don't mean to be annoying."
"You're not, I'm just a jackbooted jarhead, y'know? I love
to hear you talk." He emphasized the words with a kiss to the top
of Blair's head.
"It's just that sometimes I can't help it. My mouth just
seems to run on it's own."
"Well, I know how to keep it busy...but we're here to see
the movie. We can do *that* at home."
"Mmm. Home." Another snuggling movement, and the elegant
fingers stroked the back of Jim's hand, which was suddenly
connected directly to his cock.
"So tell me how something like this could happen in
America." Jim nodded at the movie, where the obnoxious game show
host was cheerfully not mourning the gruesome death of a
contestant.
Taking him at his word, Blair chattered quietly, his
thoughts interesting, giving Jim both another look into his
lover's psyche and a distraction from the fingers that continued
to unknowingly tease him.
Watching the movie, listening to Blair and responding softly
to his comments and theories, Jim was completely happy. It wasn't
a feeling he was really used to. And concentrating on it, he
missed the man seated in the back who stood, giving them a
hateful glare, and stalked quietly from the theater. He moved
lightly even in the heavy military boots he wore. The ones that
went so well with the camo uniform.
Grinning broadly as the movie drew to an end, the two men
sat and waited for the credits to finish running before they got
up to leave.
Realizing, as they stood, that they were the only two left
in the theater, Blair grasped his lover's shoulders and leaned up
to kiss him.
The larger man's mouth opened under his as Jim let Blair
control the kiss.
Overcome with a sudden rush of love, Blair deepened the kiss
and swayed into the hard body.
Jim's arms came around his waist to hold him tightly.
The sound of the usher dragging in the garbage can to clean
the theater before the next showing clanged loudly and the two
men broke reluctantly apart.
"God, you're so sweet butterfly, I could eat you all day"
Smiling shyly, blushing just a little, Blair grasped his
lover's hand and pulled him along the aisle.
"Ice Cream?"
"You sure you still want some after those candy bars?"
Nodding his head vigorously, the younger man bounced ahead
of him.
The humid air hit them as they exited the machine cooled air
of the theater, slowing them down.
They stopped as they arrived at a store front, boasting
"home made old fashioned ice-cream"
101 flavors, written in small lettering below.
"Wow!" exclaimed Blair. "Do you really think they've got 101
flavors? How am I ever going to choose?"
Chuckling at that, Jim held the door open for him, both men
sighing happily as the cold air hit them again.
Blair wandered up and down the counter reading flavors and
counting under his breath.
Jim smiled at the server as she asked if she could help him.
"I think we might be awhile." he said, nodding towards the
young man.
"67" he exclaimed as he came back to Jim's side. "There's
flavors I've never heard of before."
"We'd be happy to let you try a sample if there's something
you think you'd like to try." Offered the girl.
Nodding happily, Blair proceeded to work his way from the
cash to the far end, testing each and every flavor that he had
never heard of before.
Jim half expected him to forego the ice cream once he'd
finished taste testing a couple dozen flavors, but instead Blair
ordered a triple scoop waffle cone of nutty chocolate delight,
raspberry cinnamon swirl and tropical storm.
Shaking his head, half in wonder, half in warning, Jim
ordered his own desert, a single scoop of vanilla in a plain
cone, and paid for the treats.
"You're going to make yourself sick with that." Jim informed
his companion as he joined him in a booth.
"And you're going to die of boredom with *that*" he replied
saucily.
Chuckling, Jim settled back and watched Blair eat.
The young man devoured the ice cream, licking around the
outside until he'd formed it into a point, and then nipping that
point off, before starting over again.
As he watched the nimble tongue, Jim felt himself get
aroused.
{God I want him to eat me like that}
Flushing suddenly at the thought, Jim could hardly look the
younger man in the eye when he looked up suddenly.
"What?" asked Blair, intrigued by the color in Jim's cheeks
"Nothing." Mumbled the older man, blushing deeper.
"You're the one whose always going on about me being able to
say anything to you. Doesn't it work both ways?"
Clearing his throat, Jim nodded sheepishly, watching as the
tip of the long prehensile tongue licked from the bottom of the
cone to the top in one long stroke.
He couldn't help the little groan that escaped at the sight.
Blair raised an eyebrow, looking startled. Then,
deliberately, he did it again.
Licking the cone from bottom to top, *slowly*.
"It's just...well, they way you're licking that cone is
really turning me on." He paused for half a second, and, lowering
his voice and leaning across the table, continued. "I'm imagining
your doing *that* to me."
"Really?" it came out too high, as if his voice was
changing.
"I mean, *really*?" said in a more normal tone this time.
Jim nodded slowly and sent a foot in search of Blair's.
Finding it, he eased of his shoe and slowly ran it up his
lovers leg.
Blair twitched, sat up straighter, but didn't pull his leg
away.
He grinned suddenly, and then opened his mouth wide, sliding
it down over the pointed mound of ice cream.
He sucked, and slid it out again, not looking at Jim.
A faint blush stained his cheeks.
Jim moaned, biting his hand in an effort to keep it quiet.
He looked away from Blair and began to mentally go over the
proper way of packing a chute.
He pulled his foot away from Blair's leg and clenched his
hands.
Staring at him, Blair slid out of the seat and bounced to
his
feet.
"I wanna go home now." he announced, not looking at his
lover, bashful again, the cone forgotten.
"Take me home, Jim?"
"I want to go home too Blair, but I think you'd better sit
down for a bit first." "There is no way I'm walking out of here
like this." His voice was rough and unsteady.
the faint blush became a scarlet wave.
"M'm sorry..." the kid mumbled as he sat back down, feet
tucked back under the seat.
The guy at the counter was watching them and looking
unhappy.
It was late, maybe he was ready to close up.
Blair rested his chin on his hands, not quite looking at Jim
through his lashes.
"God, don't be sorry Blair." His voice slipped back down
into a conspirital whisper.
Still brilliant red, Blair stared at the table.
"I--it just seemed like the thing to do...at the time." he
mumbled more.
"No one's almost made me come just by eating ice cream
before Blair, I just wish it hadn't happened in a public place"
The shiver that ran through the thin frame was clearly
visible.
Those blue eyes blinked up, stared, blinked back to the
table.
Another shiver.
Jim's voice dropped another notch.
"I love you butterfly."
"I never thought...that somebody would want *me* -- th-that
way, so much."
Closing his eyes briefly, Jim's hand snaked out to grasp his
lover's.
"I never thought that I could want someone this much."
Blair's hand closed on his tightly, reminding him of the
strength in the deceptively small body.
"Sometimes it scares me, Jim." now Blair met his eyes, the
blue ones wide and anxious. "If something happens...it's gonna
hurt so bad..."
Jim's hand moved to cup his cheek.
"Nothing's going to happen butterfly. I would never hurt
you, never."
Nervously, glancing at the counter-guy, Blair rubbed his
face on Jim's palm, the prickly stubble dragging slightly.
"I know, Jim. I *know*. I love you."
The witness made a disgusted face and turned away.
"Can we go home now?"
Smiling softly Jim nodded
"Yeah, butterfly, I think maybe I can walk now without doing
permanent damage." Standing, Jim shoved his hands in his pockets.
Still blushing, Blair walked a few inches away as they left,
tucking his own hands into his own pockets, to resist the
temptation to hang onto Jim.
The drive home was accomplished almost entirely in silence.
Their clasped hands rested on Jim's thigh and the older man
spared a glance towards Blair every few minutes.
Every now and then one of them would utter a quiet "I love
you" and both would grin.
Finally arriving back at the condo, after what had seemed a
very long drive, they quickly made their was inside.
Stopping just inside the door, Jim drew himself up.
"Thank you very much for the date, I had a really good
time." He bent down and placed a chaste, closed mouthed kiss on
the smaller man's lips, turned and pretended to head out the
door.
Smiling as he grabbed the older man's arm Blair admonished
him.
"You call that a goodnight kiss? I think you'd better try
again if you ever want another date."
He was blushing again, but clearly enjoying the game they
were playing.
Turning towards him again, Jim swept him into his arms and,
angling his opened mouth over Blair's, proceeded to consume him.
After thirty seconds or so the younger man was clinging to
him for support as his knees gave way. Offering himself up to
Jim, giving him as much as he could.
Grasping Blair's ass in his hands, Jim pulled him up his
body and headed for the stairs, never breaking the kiss.
There was a pronounced shiver in the small body, but then the
sturdy legs came around his waist and the kid hung on.
Arriving at the bed, Jim kept his hold on the young man's
ass firm. He wasn't ready yet to give up his precious burden.
Pulling his mouth away from the succulent lips, he rained wet
sloppy kisses all over Blair's face.
"Man, the door...Jim, you gotta go lock the door." Blair
panted the words, thinking of Eli's intrusion.
Ignoring the younger man's words, Jim hitched him higher to
gain access to his neck. He began to lip and nip and nibble his
way around the delicate flesh.
With a low moan the kid arched backwards in his arms,
stomach muscles tensing beautifully as he used them to support
himself, hands gripping Jim's shoulders fiercely.
"i - I love th-that...Jimmmm..."
Arching further, he encouraged Jim's mouth lower on his
body.
The older man continued the onslaught, delighting in the
moans coming from his lover.
He made a small sound in the back of his throat as his
progress was thwarted by Blair's clothing.
Blair was almost horizontal now, only Jim's hands on his
back
and his own strength keeping him in place.
The muscles were fluttering with strain.
Placing a kiss on the abdomen quivering just out of reach
beneath his clothes, Jim gently laid him on the bed.
One by one, stopping frequently to cover the young man with
kisses, Jim stripped off his clothes.
The vest and shirt were quickly followed by shoes, socks and
pants.
The quivering subsided and the kid reached restlessly to
touch himself, stroking once before yanking his hand away,
blushing again.
Jim grasped the waistband of the boxers in his teeth and
pulled them down.
His lips grazing Blair's erection along the way.
The kid wriggled, needy.
"Jim!"
Moving back up to bathe the tight nipples, Jim let his hips
press into the smaller man's.
It was obvious the kid was trying to be still, but he wasn't
very good at it.
His hands settled on Jim's waist and he urged the older man
to move.
"Shhh, butterfly." Jim whispered against his flesh. The rush
of air from the words whooshing over the wet nipples, tightening
them further. "All in good time."
"I want...J-Jim, I *need*...." once again Blair was
overwhelmed by unaccustomed sensations. He shook beneath Jim.
Realizing that Blair was on the brink, Jim moved quickly
down his body, dragging his tongue over the trembling flesh.
Stopping along the way to play with his navel, rimming it and
slipping his tongue in and out.
"Wh-what are you...Oohhhhh....*doing*...Jimmmm..."
Blair's hips thrust helplessly as he fought to stay in
control of himself.
"Jim...t-talk to me, man...I, I, I'm..."
Those hands tried to dig into Jim's hair, but the military
buzz-cut provided no handles.
Surging back up over the quivering body, Jim whispered
briefly into an ear.
"I love you butterfly. Trust me.
He moved back down and settled himself between Blair's legs.
"I trust you, Jim. I do."
With a visible effort the kid calmed some. His hands
still petted Jim's head restlessly and his eyes were squeezed
tight
shut.
Jim began to mimic Blair's actions with the ice cream cone.
Placing the tip of his tongue at the base of Blair's cock he
slowly, very slowly ran it up to the top.
Blair grunted in surprise and arched, hands going to the
comforter, gripping handfuls of it and twisting them.
Jim repeated the motion.
And again.
And again.
Beyond words, Blair could only moan and try not be still.
The effort made him shiver and shake harder.
Jim changed tactics.
Remembering Blair's first move with the ice cream cone, he
swirled his tongue around and around the straining erection
The sound that came from the kid's mouth could have been a
groan. Or a name. or, really, anything at all.
He stopped suddenly to give the tip a gentle nip, not really
staying there long enough to call it a lick or a suck.
He did it again, this time lingering long enough to flick at the
slit along the top.
The near-continuous moan began sounding suspiciously like
words now.
The third time he returned to the top of Blair's cock, he
pulled the head into his mouth and ran his tongue around it.
"t-t-t-oooo, oh...."
With a sudden pounce, Jim mimicked the final act Blair had
committed on his ice cream. Pulling as much of Blair's cock into
his mouth as he could, letting the younger man fuck his mouth.
The slim hips thrust erratically.
"gon-gon-ahhhhh...."
There was a sudden, startling silence, then Blair pumped
frantically, coming with no warning, unable to articulate more
than a grunt.
Collapsing back on the bed, he just lay in a heap.
Jim swallowed convulsively as his lover's cum filled his
mouth. Letting the cock slip from his mouth, pausing to give it a
gentle kiss, Jim once again moved up Blair's body. He opened his
mouth over Blair's, giving the younger man a chance to taste
himself.
Blair's mouth opened, but he didn't really respond.
Resting his body along the smaller one, he couldn't help
thrusting his aching cock against the warm thigh.
Dragging in a deep breath, and then another, the kid finally
opened his eyes. He nudged his thigh further between Jim's legs
and rubbed tentatively, a hand sliding to the older man's hip.
"like this?" he whispered, sounding both euphoric and
anxious. "is this what you want?"
Jim humped the leg gratefully, grunting his approval.
Now his tongue flicked out to taste himself on Jim's lips.
With a spastic movement he wrapped both arms around his
lover and pulled himself closer, moving with Jim, tongue plunging
deep into his mouth.
Whimpering deep in the back of his throat, Jim pressed
harder against the younger man, and came, convulsing.
Drained, he rested heavily against the small body.
Blair held on as tightly as he could, wanting to feel every
movement. The heat on his leg was more erotic than anything he'd
ever imagined. It seemed like he could hold Jim like this
forever.
Coming to his senses after a few moments, he rolled slightly
to take the bulk of his weight off his lover.
"I love you butterfly" he whispered softly.
Rolling with him, Blair wound up in his arms and pressed to
Jim's chest.
He whispered against the smooth skin, already sleepy.
"Love you, too, man."
