Interlude I:
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Take a long holiday...
-----------------------

     Blair bounded up the stairs to the dorm, backpack flung
carelessly over his shoulder, hair tied in a loose ponytail.  It
was an old brick building, three stories, not at all attractive.
But the rooms weren't bad, small bedroom sharing a bath and
living room combination.
    It had been a month since he arrived and exactly a week since
the first day of classes.  There was a resident advisor assigned
to each floor. He kind of resented that he'd been put next door
to his, but it wasn't that surprising. As far as he could see he
was the youngest kid on campus.  And it was a big campus.
    He'd been intimidated by that a little, at first.  When Jim
had called last Sunday -- they'd been gradually weaning
themselves from the nightly calls they'd started with and agreed
that once a week was good - but his lover had been encouraging
and so resolute in his belief in him that Blair felt way more
capable than he had before the call.  And the feeling had lasted.
    Stopping at the front desk to chat for a moment with Andrea,
the dorms were co-ed a fact he was certain would please his
mother no end, he noticed a letter in his box.  Reaching over he
grabbed it and blushed lightly when he noticed the return
address.  It was from Jim.
    "Something special?" asked Andrea, a twinkle in her eye.  She
was a third year student, on a partial scholarship, working the
desk in exchange for a room at the dorm.  Blair liked her; she
was well suited to the job, having a manner that immediately put
you at ease.  He nodded in answer to her question, blush
deepening.
    "That's nice." Her eyes still twinkled as she shooed him off
to open his letter in private. 
    Holding the letter in his hand, he walked slowly up the three
flights of stairs, listening to the groans and creaks that
sounded with every step.  The letter burned against his palm,
holding promise.  
    He had to stop himself from rushing to his room and tearing
open the missive, torn between the quick fix and the sweet
anticipation.  He slipped into the room, looking around.  {Good,
Dan's still at class}  Emptying his backpack, piling the books
neatly alongside the table he settled in on the bed and spent
several minutes looking at Jim's name in the return address.
    Legs crossed one over the other he closed his eyes and took
several deep breaths.  Finally he gave himself permission to open
the envelope.
   A picture and a note, one page only, fell out.  Deciding to
stretch his anticipation to the limit, he picked the note up
first.
        Butterfly,  
        You remember the day we went climbing?
        Well, the elderly lady with the camera came through.
        She sent two copies.
        Here's yours.
        You look good enough to eat.
        Love Jim.
    Smiling at the short no-nonsense sentences, Blair slowly
picked up the picture.  There they were, arm in arm, the mountain
side falling away behind their feet leaving the illusion that
they were about to fall off a steep cliff.  Boy, that was an
analogy.  Except that they'd jumped.  A soft look, almost of
wonder, filled his face as he gently traced the outline of his
lover in the photograph.
    "Hey Sandburg." The voice startled him out of his reverie,
and he looked up, eyes still soft as Dan came into his room,
still carrying his pack.  He was taller than Blair but not tall,
blond, good-looking. A little bit spoiled, he had a scholarship
even though he didn't need one, but he'd been nice to Blair,
taking him out with his friends from premed a couple of times and
waking him that one morning when Blair had forgot to set the
alarm, saving him from missing a class.
    "Me and some people were going to go catch a movie and hang
out at the mall, thought you might..." walking up behind him, he
looked over Blair's shoulder.     
    "That your brother?" he said in his usual friendly way. 
Blair shook his head, faint blush returning to his face.  Dan
looked at him, confused.
    "So who is he?
    "My...lover." He spoke the words quietly, he had never said
them aloud before.  They filled his heart, and he could feel
Jim's body pressing his into the bed.  Just the way Jim had told
him to.
    "Say what?" walking around in front of him, Dan was staring
like he'd grown another head. But then he gave his head a shake
and his smile was back in place. "Really. What's his name? He
looks older than we are."
    "His name is Jim.  Yeah, he's somewhat older, but he's really
special, you know..." Blair's embarrassment faded a little, it
felt good to be able to talk about Jim. 
    "He the one that keeps you on the phone at all hours?" Dan
was obviously teasing about the many nights he'd had to retrieve
the shared phone from Blair's room, the long cord tangled around
the living room furniture and stretched by the door.
    "We met this summer." he laughed a bit.  "He rescued me from
a storm." And realizing how that sounded he made fun of himself
"My knight in shinning armor."
    "So, you want to go to the movie or what?" Dan wagged his
head a bit. "We're gonna eat pizza at the mall first. I'll cover
yours."
    "Um." Blair considered the offer, it was tempting but the
face in the picture was a bigger draw and he had an irresistible
urge to call the older man.  "I think I'm gonna pass, okay?"
    "Guess I'll be searching for the phone again, huh?" Dan
nodded and left quickly, shutting Blair's door behind him.
    Holding the picture tightly, Blair found the phone by the
small couch and dialled in the number.  He sank down, only to
bound up again and pace slightly as he waited for Jim to pick up
at the other end.

Glancing at the closed room door, Blair suddenly wondered at the
wisdom of sitting in the little living room to do this.  He 
could move to his room...
    "Ellison." Clipped military tone.
    "I got it." he said softly, Jim's voice driving all other
thoughts from his head.
    "Butterfly." The cold tone melted at the sound of his young
lover's voice.  "That was fast, I only sent it two days ago."
    "Oh, God, *Jim*. I miss you." his voice broke on the last
word and he choked off, taking a deep breath. He'd promised
himself he 
wasn't going waste his time on the phone crying.  "It's 
*wonderful*."
    "Shh, Butterfly. Have you been remembering?  Can you close my
eyes and feel me?"
    "Uh-huh. I did it just a few minutes ago, while I was looking
at the picture."  Automatically Blair closed his eyes and sank
further into the cushions.
    Jim's breath caught in his throat.
    "I'm doing it now, Jim."
    "Are you by yourself Butterfly?" the soft tones melted even
further into velvet heat.  Easily, he summoned the memory...Jim's
weight, his heat and size, pressing down on him, shielding him,
wanting him...A tiny trickle of sweat ran down the back of
Blair's neck, tickling. The room was warm but not hot, so he
didn't understand why he was sweating...
    "Jim?" unsure, a little uncertain, he opened his eyes and
looked at the picture as his fingers absent-mindedly caressed the
receiver.   Thoughts of Jim inevitably brought longing and
arousal, but their previous phone conversations had all
been...well, normal. Jim had never talked to him like he was
actually there, beside him, reaching to touch him... 
    "Um..." another bead of sweat dripped slowly.  Chuckling
softly at the younger man's obvious distraction, Jim was pleased
to be the cause.  The older man wasn't distracted though, unless
you counted the bulge in his pants, tenting them dangerously just
from hearing Blair's voice.  He closed his eyes and leaned back
comfortably into the sofa.
    "I asked if you we're alone Butterfly. You know by yourself,
solo, no one else there..."
    "Ummm...D-Dan just left. He went to a movie. Asked if I
wanted to go, but I wanted to stay -- and call *you*..." the
nervous stammer was reappearing. "W-w-we?"
    "Yeah Butterfly we." The older man smiled.  He rearranged
himself on the couch, shifting to lie back against the cushions.
He hadn't bothered to turn on a light when he'd come home and the
condo was replete in dusky intimate shadows.  Resting the phone
between his shoulder and his ear, eyes closed, he could imagine
the heat of his young lover covering him.  Hearing the shuffling
sounds of movement, Blair waited, nervous.  Jim ran a hand down
his body from his chest to his knees. 
    "Make love with me Butterfly." Soft, deliberate, slow like
honey, the words poured from him.  Blair gasped, body jerking
involuntarily.
    "*Jim*?!"
    "Oh Butterfly, you know how much I love the way you say my
name..."
    "Man, Jim, I'm not sure about this..." trailing off, the kid
had to concentrate to breathe. His heart was pounding fast now
and he was sweating freely.
    "Trust me, kid?  It'll be just the same as always, you never
have to do anything you don't want to."
    "D-Do you want to?" he sounded worried. Jim could almost
envision biting his lip, the faintest trace of red staining his
fine-boned face
    "Not unless you want to too Butterfly. You know that." 
    "I - I can try." taking another deep breath, Blair leaned
back further, tilting his head and stretching his bent legs out. 
"What...what do you want me to do, Jim?"   He was tense and it
showed in his voice, tight and hoarse. But his body was acting
like this was the best idea he'd had in weeks.
    "Are your eyes closed Butterfly? I want you to close your
eyes and feel my weight on you.  I can feel you under me."
    "Ah, Jim. I can do that." Blair said. And he did, the image
already hovering at the edge of his mind, just waiting for a
chance to flood him. His body tightened.  
    "I *can* feel you...it's like magic, Jim. Like you cast a
spell so all I have to do is think about it and I can feel
you...you feel so good..."   With another, louder, gasp, Blair
moved suddenly, spreading his legs as his cock burst to full
hardness.
    "Tell me what to do, Jim." still anxious, but eager to
please, he sounded so young again.
    The older man smiled as he heard the gasps and body shifts. 
Running quickly over the younger man's wardrobe in his mind, Jim
took a chance.  "Unbutton your shirt Butterfly.  Do it slowly."
    "How...?" shifting restlessly, the younger man stared down at
himself. "Um, okay."  With one hand he tugged at the first
button, pulling it free.  Not knowing how slow was slowly, he
paused for a few seconds, listening to Jim breathing softly, and
then did another.  And a third.
    Hearing the soft shushes of material, Jim matched him button
for button, his breathing picking up it's pace.
    "Are you...are you doing it too?" a nervous giggle from the
kid.
    "Yesssss."  His hand stopped on his chest, right between his
nipples. They were hard, the silver ring seemed to make the left
one ache.
    "Lick your fingers Butterfly and trail them down the opening
of your shirt."  He waited until he heard the rasp of fingers on
flesh.  "That's my tongue on your body"
    "Oh!"  The sound stopped.  "I - Jim - "
    "Shhh, Butterfly, feel me on you, feel my hands and tongue on
your body. And know that I love you."
    "It's kinda weird, Jim..." feeling exposed, which was silly
because he was sitting alone in a closed room, Blair resumed the
stroking. After a pass he lifted his hand to his mouth and sucked
on his fingers, wetting them fully, knowing Jim could hear him,
before trying it again. Carefully he built the image in his
mind...
Lying back on the pillows in Jim's bed, looking down, watching as
Jim nuzzled at his stomach and licked a teasing path up and down,
through the chest hair...
    "Ohhh." he sighed this time.
    "Ohhh yeah." Jim echoed softly into the phone. "Oh you like
that don't you Butterfly."  He arched his back as he let his own
fingers play over his tight muscles.
    "I love when you do that, Jim. Like you want to taste every
single inch of me..."  Five hundred miles away Blair's body
arched with his.
    "Yes Butterfly, and you taste so very good. Hot, musky and
sweet."  He moved his hands towards his left nipple and whispered
softly. "I'm going to tug on your nipple ring now, not too hard,
but enough that you'll know I'm there."  Pinching his own nipple
he breathed into the phone.  "There can you feel it?'
    His hand moving almost on it's own, Blair slipped his pinky
through the silver ring, the metal warm, and tugged gently.
    "Jim...." he whispered. "I want you here...I want you to do
this. I don't think I c-can..." he bit his lip as the sensations
rolled through him.
    "I'm there Butterfly, I'm there. I can feel you under me. I
can feel our bodies arching together. I can see the blush rising
from your neck running up your face."  Touching his own cheek
lightly, Blair was surprised to find it hot and tight. He *was*
blushing, though he hadn't noticed.  Hearing the hand against his
cheek Jim encouraged the touch, knowing it was strange to Blair,
to be touching himself like this.
    "That's right Butterfly, you touch yourself, learn your body,
learn it's responses. Did you know that your nipples tighten when
your navel is rimmed?"  The heat in his face flamed and Blair
made a small sound of protest.
    "Th-they're both...erogenous z-z-ones..." he tried to take
refuge in scientific excuse.  Chuckling softly at that Jim
answered him.
    "Yeah Darwin, they're both erogenous zones. In fact I've
noticed your whole body seems to be an erogenous zone.
    "Uh-o-only for you, man." the giggle was quick but real as
the kid took a very deep breath and exhaled slowly.
    "Um, Jim?" still nervous, still blushing.
    "Blair..." he breathed in answer, his own hands running along
his chest, stopping now and then to pinch and role his nipples
    "*Jim*." insistent now, but the older man could hear him
touching himself again, the slender fingers brushing lightly
through curly chest hair.
    "Talk to me Butterfly. I keep telling you over and over you
can say anything to me." Stopping the motions of his hands, he
breathed in deeply, bringing himself down a notch.  The young
voice dropped, sweeter now, a touch bashful.
    "Tell me you love me."
    "Oh God Butterfly I love you."  The response was swift and
sure.
    "I love you too, Jim." as if that was all he'd needed, the
kid relaxed again, his free hand tentatively pinching a nipple
and rolling it. He let out a soft moan.  Jim whimpered at the
sound.
    "I-I'm touching myself...my chest. For you, Jim, thinking
about y-you..." another small moan slipped from his mouth as he
opened it to pant.  Jim moaned loudly in response to the younger
man's words.
His breath rasped harshly. 
    "Oh yes, Blair. Do it, do it for me. Give your body to me.
Just like that."  The words were like a bolt of energy through
Blair's body, right to his cock.   Needing desperately to touch
himself, but not wanting to get too far ahead of the kid he urged
"Move your hand down to your cock. Can you feel the heat from
beneath your jeans? Mine is so hot I'm burning my palm."
    Groaning with need, louder now, Blair spread his legs with a
convulsive movement and pressed his palm flat against the
straining length.
    "I can feel it..." he panted.  "I'm so hard, Jim." he sounded
surprised by it.
    Oh God!"  Knowing he wasn't going to last long, the feeling
of Blair's hard cock in his hand filling his mind, he rasped out
another set of instructions.  "Undo your jeans. Be careful, don't
hurt yourself. But do it quickly."  He already had his own jeans
undone and with a shift of his hips and they hanging off his
heels.
    "Ah, oh, man, Jim...I'm, I'm, um, w-wearing the, um,
underwear you picked..." he panted, holding his hand in mid air,
unsure if he should touch himself.
    "Good Butterfly, that's good. It'll help you remember me,
remember that I'm there and I'm touching you. I'm circling your
cock within my hand and pumping nice and slowly.  He grasped his
own cock, moaning as he imagined the younger man's hands in place
of his own.  He head the hitching breath the kid took and then
there was the unmistakable sound of flesh on flesh, moving
slowly, as requested.
    "J-Jim..." a nervous stammer and another moan, softer again.
    "Oh God."  Jim knew he couldn't take much more than this. 
"Oh Butterfly, that's it, that's it. I'm matching your strokes
now, I can hear each one and I'm following your rhythm.  Bring us
home Butterfly, make me come."
    "Jimmm...." Stroking faster hesitation fading under the
sensual onslaught, Blair moaned long and loud, barely pausing for
breath before starting another.  So caught up in the feelings,
his eyes squeezed tightly shut to hold the image of Jim firm in
his mind, he didn't notice the doorknob start to turn just as he
slumped back further and began thrusting his hips, pumping
himself into his tightening hand.
    "Yes Butterfly, yes, oh god, you're making me come, your
making me, making me..." words trailing away into harsh grunts,
Jim gave himself  over to the feelings.  He was so close, but he
wanted to wait until the kid came first.
    "Feel you, I can...Oh, God....." humping his hand
frantically, Blair felt the pressure increase dramatically. 
"I'm-I'm - oh, Jim, Jim, Ohhhh....c-c-coming, oh, I'm...."  The
orgasm ripped through him and took the ability to form words with
it.  His shriek of joy rang in the room and bounced off the walls
as he collapsed into an exhausted heap on the couch.
    Jim's cry echoed his as he let go, hot liquid shooting from
his cock, coating his abdomen.
    Too completely wiped out to notice the footsteps hurrying
away from the door and back down the hall.
    "Oh Butterfly that was incredible, you're incredible." 
Panting, the kid tried to answer.
    "I love you so much. I need...I need to see you Butterfly.
I've got the weekend off. I want to come down and see you. Do you
want me to do that." he whispered softly.
    "Jim...man, that was...it was weird, Jim. I mean, I liked it,
but I wanted it to be you touching me and now I want you even
more..."
    "Oh, *please*, Jim." his eyes were filling with tears, but he
wasn't unhappy. "I want to see you so *bad*."
    "Me too Butterfly, me too. I need to touch you.  I can be
there by early Friday evening. We'll have dinner, maybe catch a
movie...I can get a hotel room Butterfly" Jim's voice was soft,
hopeful.
    "You can stay here with me." letting his voice drop too,
Blair clutched the phone tighter. "We can sleep on the sheets you
gave me..."
    "Oh god Butterfly, you're making me hard again..."
    "The bed's not very big..." endearingly awkward, Blair
hesitated at Jim's words.
    "You mean we're going to have to snuggle real close
Butterfly?" Jim's voice was slightly aroused, seductive..
    "Jim...I thought I was the one who was always ready..."
nervously lair twisted the phone cord.  Opening his eyes at last,
Blair looked down at himself and grimaced.  "I'm messy, Jim." 
Now that the passion had faded he was sated, but felt a tiny bit
uncomfortable with what they'd done.
    "I know Butterfly and if I was there I would lick the cum off
your body. I will on Friday and on Saturday and on Sunday."  A
low moan answered that and then a reluctant giggle.
    "Okay. If you want to, Jim."  He sat up slowly, tugging his
jeans up and holding them closed, running a hand through his
hair.
"I need a shower."
    "I want you." came the reply, hot and husky. "Go clean
yourself up Butterfly, knowing I'll be doing the same."
    "You'll be here Friday, Jim?" slightly anxious again, Blair
stood and stretched.
    "Yes Butterfly. Friday.  I love you Butterfly." Reluctant,
Jim brought the conversation to a close.
    "It'll be hard to wait." the kid sighed. He flipped from
mature lover to little-boy in an instant and then back again.  "I
love you too, Jim. You- you're everything to me."  A soft moan
was his answer.  "Goodnight Jim"
   "Goodnight, Butterfly. Sleep tight."
    "G'nite, Jim." Blair sighed and then promised. "I'll dream of
you."
    "And I'll meet you there."  Waiting until he heard the soft
click as the phone was returned to it's cradle, Jim held the
phone for a long moment, imagining he could still hear his young
lover's breathing.

    Coming back from his last class of the day, Blair let himself
into his room.  He was on a veritable high, even the strange
looks he'd occasionally intercepted could not penetrate his mood.

Making love with Jim on the phone the evening before had been an
experience he'd never would have imagined taking part in.  But it
had been wonderful.
    It had also been a very physical reminder of how much he
missed the older man.  Not that he wasn't missing him before the
call, but the pain of separation had had a month to settle into
the background.  
    Moving into the dorm room, he slowed as he headed toward his
bedroom.  Slowed and did a slow 360.  Other than the couch, every
trace of Dan was gone.
    He knocked on the door across from his.  When there was no
answer he peeked cautiously around it.  Other than the bed, the
desk and the shelving unit, the room was empty, devoid of any
personal belongings.  Heading across the small common room, a
flutter of white on the couch caught his eye. 
    His name was written across the front of paper and he
carefully unfolded it. 

     Blair,
     I requested a new room, effective immediately. 
     Go see Tamra, she'll give you the lowdown.
     Dan.

    The young man's good mood didn't disappear, but it did falter
for a moment, slipping on the possible answers to the puzzle in
his hand.  Why? What had he done?  He replayed his interactions
with Dan over the first couple of days.  He did it twice, and
both times he came to the same conclusion.  This had something to
do with the picture of him and Jim.
    Not wanting to put it off he headed for the door next to his,
knocking when he got there.  The door opened on a petite brunette
with kind eyes. Tamra, the resident advisor for this particular
floor, smiled sympathetically up at him.
    "Blair...come on in." She opened the door wide and indicated
the two chairs.  Blair sat down tentatively, not quite planting
his feet, almost perched like a bird ready for flight.
    "What's going on Tamra?"
    "Blair, Dan says...well to be perfectly frank he said you
were gay."  A blush took root at the base of Blair's neck and
rapidly flooded up into his face.   At the growing silence he
realized that she was waiting for a response from him.  He nodded
awkwardly.  He felt uncomfortable, his and Jim's love was
private, between just the two of them.  Why was everyone so
interested in it?  He ventured a look at her in the continuing
silence. She didn't look particularly happy. 
    "Is that a problem?" he finally asked, the last vestiges of
his good mood evaporating.  Taking a minute to gather his
thoughts, he looked around the room.
    "No, of course not Blair. It just doesn't make things any
easier for you."  It was one of the few private ones, a lot
smaller than his. She's hung fabric swatches on the wall and it
looked kind of cozy, now so cramped with the little flowers and
calming greens covering the bare white walls.  Turning his
attention back to her fully, he scrunched forward in the chair a
bit, hands clenched between his knees.
    "What do you mean, easier?' he sounded nervous and just a
little frightened.  Leaning forward, she patted his knee
casually.   The touch was meant to offer comfort but without a
lot of effort on her part.
    "Remember when we went over things at the first floor
meeting?" she asked. He nodded, unsure if she wanted him to say
anything.  "I said that there would be some problems. There
always are. This isn't one of the ones I was expecting."
    "But it's okay, right? I mean, they won't kick me out or take
my scholarship away or something, will they?" now he looked
terrified, his eyes going round and dark.
    "No, they won't do that."  she sighed and fluffed her hair. 
"They can't. I'll ask around and find somebody who's not
offended. It may take a couple of days."
    "Offended?" Squeaked Blair.
    "God, you're young." Shaking her head, she chuckled and he
had the distinct feeling that she was laughing at him.  "When
they told me about you and told me to keep an eye on you, I knew
that. They said that you'd travelled all over the world, that you
were brilliant and that you'd probably stick out like a sore
thumb..."
    He was staring now, in disbelief.
    "I wish they'd thought to mention this. I could have avoided
the whole situation if we'd given you a female roommate in the
first place."
    "They?  You've been discussing me?  But it's...it's none of
anybody's business!" he managed to squeak.  Sighing, she sat
again and patted his knee again.
    "Look, you're supposed to be the smart one here. Of course
we're looking out for you."  He looked both affronted and
frightened. It was almost comical.  "I just wish you had come to
me privately and told me so I could have made arrangements before
it came to this."
    Bursting into movement, Blair bounced from his seat and began
roaming the small space, arms swinging slightly.
    "I..I don't just tell people about my private life!"  She
just watched him calmly.
    "Well, everyone knows now. Phone sex? What were you
thinking?"
All of the color drained from his face so fast that she jumped up
and grabbed his arm, afraid he was going to faint.  "Blair? Are
you okay?" she steered him gently to the chair and sat him down
again, grabbing a soda out of her little fridge.  He shook his
head when she pressed it on him.
    "I don't drink that stuff...."
    "Look. Dan came to me this morning and told me that he left
you on the phone with this guy you know --" she didn't use a name
and Blair wondered if Dan had told her. "He said that he'd just
found out and that it was cool, but then he went back after his
wallet and he heard you moaning and then you yelled, right there
in the living room...it was more than he could take.  I'm not
just the RA for this floor." she said more quietly as he just
stared, his skin so very pale that she was still worried about
shock. "I'm in charge of the other RAs on the other floors. I
need you to come to me if there's a problem or if there's
something I need to know to head one off."
    He was till just staring.  
    A knock at the door distracted her.  Standing, Tamra gave him
a pat on the shoulder, missing the way he curled in on himself as
she opened it. He was miserable. Just horribly, horribly
embarrassed.
{Oh, Jim, man, how could I have done that?!}
    Opening the door, Tamra spoke quickly. "Whatever it is, I
gave at the office."
    "Hi! My name is Lindy Johnson. I'm supposed to see you about
my room assignment." She paused ever so slightly for a breath and
began talking again.  Startled, Tamra cracked the door a little
wider so she could lean out, giving the young woman a good view
of the distraught boy inside.
    "Don't you just hate joining "in media res"? I can't believe
I missed the first week of classes. Now I'll have to settle in
and catch up all at once.  Oh hey, are you okay? You look like
your best friend just died." The girl took on a horrified look.
"Oh, no they didn't did they? Die I mean. I haven't just stuck my
foot in my mouth again have I? I do that a lot, I don't know why,
I try so hard to be sensitive."  The onslaught of words finally
slowed and stopped.
    "Look, Lindy, is it? I was expecting you earlier, but can you
come back in a little while?"  Blair didn't respond to her at
all, more miserable than he could ever remember being.
    "Is he okay?" She didn't want to let it drop and when she
looked over Tamra's shoulder she recognized the Blair as the kid
she'd been told about that morning.  He'd been crossing the quad
when a band of premed students had started pointing and
whispering loudly.
    "He's the little fag that was having phone sex."
    "In the middle of the hallways, right next to the RA's room I
heard"
    "I heard it was in the shower room"
    They had moved off but Lindy had given the boy a long look,
he looked happy enough, why couldn't people just mind their own
business.  He didn't look happy anymore.  Actually, he looked
crushed.  
    Tamra tried to shut the door.
    "Okay, Lindy, I need to talk to this kid a while longer
here.."
Lindy stood her ground, refusing to back away. It didn't look to
her like the RA was doing anything to improve the kids mood and
she foot in her mouth or not, she had never been one to let
people suffer silently.
    "Are you okay?" She asked over the RA's shoulder. Blinking,
as if surprised that someone was talking to him, Blair looked
over his shoulder at her. He was still pale and looked completely
lost.
    "If you know what's going on, then you know I have to find
him a new roommate so the other guy can switch..." Tamra was
getting fed up. "Look, just come back in an hour, *okay*?"
    "Hey" Lindy lit up.  "I've got a great idea, the kid needs a
roommate and I need a room -sounds like a match made in heaven to
me."  Speaking over the older woman's shoulder again she
addressed Blair "Hey kid, what do you think care to take me on as
a roommate?"  The RA stared at her for a full minute.
    "Really? That would be okay with you? No religious social or
moral objections?"  Lindy snorted. 
    "Objections to what he does in his private life? hey that's
his business. Nobody else's."
    "Um..." Blair opened his mouth to speak, then closed it
again.
    "I mean if I don't want you walking in on me and the cat I
gotta respect your privacy too, don't I?" She grinned and held up
her hands. "Joke." She disclaimed.  "So how about it kid? My
stuff is cluttering the hallways."  He turned in the chair, eyes
wide, but a little color was returning to his face.
    "You - you wouldn't mind if he came to visit?"  Looking
almost pathetically hopeful, his eyes begged the right answer.
    "Are you kidding? I can't wait to meet the god who managed to
snare you. The only thing that upsets me is that such a gorgeous
guy is off the market." Her infectious grin begged him not to
take her too seriously.  Blair blinked again. Tamra sighed and
stepped back, gesturing at the bubbly woman to enter the room and
closing the door behind her.
    "Um...yeah." he had no idea what to say to that.  Going
straight over to the kid she held out her hand. "Lindy Johnson,
second year English Lit. Pleased to make your acquaintance."
    "Blair, is your, uh, boyfriend planning on visiting you here
at the school?" sitting again, Tam pointed Lindy to the other
chair.  He took her hand and shook it, smiling shyly. 
    "Blair Sandburg, anthropology."   Grinning back at him, she
flung herself into the chair.
    "Blair?" Tamra pressed. he looked at her, and blushed again.
    "Yeah..." he mumbled. "He wants to come this weekend...he's
got some time off..."
    "Cool." pronounced Lindy enthusiastically.  "Just don't ask
me to have all my stuff unpacked and neatened."
    "Blair," Tamra sounded concerned. "How old is this guy?  Do
you know him well enough to be having sex with him?"  Another
bright blush covered the first two.  Ducking his head, Blair
tried to answer but failed.
    "He's, um, older, um, I-we-oh, *man*..." hiding his face
behind his hair he said plaintively.  "I think she'll be fine,
Tamra...can I go now?"
    "Geesh, lady, it's none of our business. He has a mom -you do
have a mom, right, she isn't dead or anything like that is she?
Oh my god will I just shut up now..."  Lindy shook her head. 
Glancing at her, his wide eyes were startled.  "There goes the
other foot, never one to be left behind."
    "Um, yeah, I have a mom....she might visit too...I don't have
a dad, though, but he didn't die...at least, I mean, I wouldn't
know..."  Hearing them, Tamra stood and went to the door again.
    "You two deserve each other." she softened the words with a
smile. "Lindy, move right in. Blair, try to be more discreet,
okay?"  Closing her door after the two young people, Tamra leaned
against it and sighed, listening to them as they gathered up the
woman's belongings, stacked haphazardly between the two rooms,
the conversation bouncing wildly from topic to topic as they got
it moved in, both moving as fast as they talked.

    Lindy was had just finished unpacking the one box she
considered essential and had opened the lids on the rest.  She
would unpack them at her leisure, finishing, if things went
according to par, a couple of weeks before she had to repack them
all up again.
    Turning on the light in the common room she knocked gently at
her new roommate's door.
    "Hey Blair." she called out.
    "Um, come in." he still sounded half-frightened. Sitting in
there brooding about things probably wasn't helping.   Walking
in, looking around curiously, she noticed the photograph propped
by the lamp on the desk.
    "Hey is that him?"
"That's Jim." he smiled automatically when he said it, picking up
the picture. She realized that he'd been staring at it while he
studied.
   "He loves me." he said it with such amazed joy that she
couldn't help but smile at him.
    "May I?" She held out her hand for the picture.  With a wary
glance he handed it over.
    "It's the only picture I have. I want to get a camera and
take some while he's here this weekend..."
    "Oh my."  His head flew up and he stared.
    "What?"
    She grasped her chest at her heart and sank to the bed.
Smiling up at him she stopped teasing.
    "You're just a striking couple that's all.  
    "He's like, gorgeous." Blair blushed vividly.
    "Like your not?"  He didn't reply to her comment but blushed
more fiercely.  "And you look so happy together."
    "He makes me happier than I've ever been." Blair's eyes were
round and shining, his hands danced gracefully in the air as he
spoke.  Lindy sat on his bed transfixed. This time her heart
really did skip a beat. He was a beautiful boy to start with, but
when he spoke about Jim his whole being radiated.  
    Tearing her eyes away from him, trying to bring herself back
into focus she checked out the rest of the room.  It was as
spartan as her own, just the bed, the desk and the shelves.  But
he'd already imbued it with life.  Books of all description lay
in neat stacks; on the bookcase, on the desk and on the bed. 
There were African ceremonial masks and several small statuettes
on the shelves.  A large braided rag-rug covered the floor beside
the bed, the colors faded but still warm.  The bed itself was
only half made and she was sitting on a riot of color.
    "These are the greatest sheets." She told him seriously. 
"Mine are so boring. My mom wouldn't let me get ones like these.
Said they weren't utilitarian."  That brought a delighted grin
and more hand movements. 
    "Jim teased me about them the whole time we were shopping! he
said they were so loud they were gonna wake me up."  Lindy
snorted indelicately.
    "Men!" she exclaimed rolling her eyes. "Present company
excluded of course."
    "I don't sleep much anyhow, I should probably warn you now."
he added seriously. "I don't want to cause anymore trouble.  He
wasn't offended by her exclamation.  
    More snorting.
    "Jim's, he's, like, he's in the army and so he seems kind of
boring sometimes..."
    "Blair sweetie, he looks anything but boring to me. I think
maybe I'm going to have to have a word with him about how your
portraying him when he's not here to defend himself. At the
younger man's horrified look she relented.  "You shouldn't take
everything I say so seriously Blair."  At last he accepted the
teasing and grinned.
    "Like you're gonna get that close to him. He's going to be
too busy."  Then he realized what he'd said and blushed again,
giggling a little.  She laughed, delighted to have drawn him out.
    "You look good in red kid, and I bet it's a color you wear a
lot."  That made the blush deepen and he couldn't meet her eyes
anymore, ducking his head so his hair hid his flaming face.
    "Jim likes it."  He managed to say, peeking at her through
the strands and grinning again.  Standing, stretching and smiling
down at him, she slowly wandered back towards the door.
    "I just bet he does." she said.  "I know I plan to make you
wear it at often as possible."
    Unable to say anything, he was grinning and blushing and
looked happy again.   There was nothing malicious about the
teasing, just a little fun, and this time at his expense. The
smile promised that it wouldn't always be at *his* expense.
Another smile and she pulled the door almost to behind her.

***

     Knocking eagerly at the door, Jim hid the cornflowers behind
his back. The smile on his face faded as the door opened to
reveal Lindy.
     "Hey there, you must be Jim!" She exclaimed, opening the
door to let him in.  "You're way early.  Blair's going to have a
fit he missed your arrival. Hey, those are beautiful, blue like
his eyes, nice choice.  Do you want me to find something to put
them in or wait 'til he gets here?  He'll be here any minute, his
one o'clock class would have ended about 10 minutes ago.  Here
have a seat, can I get you something to drink?"
     Jim looked somewhat bemused. When he didn't answer right
away, she opened her mouth and he decided to forestall another
monologue.
     "Who are you?" he asked.
     "Blair's roomie."
     "You're Dan?"
     She laughed then, a light airy sound.  
     "No, I'm Lindy, Dan is history."
     Jim looked around the room, not knowing what to say to that.
It had been a number of years since his own college days, but it
looked like dorm rooms didn't change much. The old couch he sat
on wasn't quite ready yet for the garbage, but it had certainly
seen better days. He was still studying the room when the door
opened and Blair bounced in, riding high on a wave of
anticipation, only to stop dead and stare at him bug-eyed.
     Jim's eyes took on a warm glow.
     Blair's mouth opened but no sound came out. The door stood
open behind him and a couple of people passing by stopped to look
in, caught by the drama. Lindy stood back to enjoy the show.

     The older man stood and held open his arms.
     "Hey there, Butterfly." he spoke softly.
     "JIM!" the shout woke people in Nebraska. Throwing himself
into those arms, he wrapped himself around the larger body, arms
around neck, legs around hips, and clung to him.
     "JimJimJimJimJimJim!" His eyes were so round and so blue
that they glowed.
     Staggering slightly, the larger man wrapped his arms tightly
around his butterfly and held on. Tilting his head down, he
caught the younger man's lips and kissed him, devouring his mouth
like a starving man. He was starving, starving for Blair.
     Letting his head fall back, Blair opened his mouth as wide
as it would go and let the older man take all that he needed, his
grip tightening. They were both blissfully unaware of the open
door and the gathering audience.
     Suddenly realizing she was intruding on something beautiful
and private, Lindy quietly made her way to the door and closed it
firmly behind her.  
     "Don't you people have lives?" she scolded.
     The two who had first stopped were beckoning others over.
The shouts and the muttering and giggles brought Tamra from her
room.
     "What's going on?" her eyes lit on Lindy as if she expected
her to answer.
     "Nothing." Lindy said firmly, for once keeping it short.
     "I take it the boyfriend is here?" unwillingly the RA
smiled.
     Another shout, this one of joy, from inside, answered that
for her.
     "JIM!"
     "Well, what is this? I don't remember selling tickets." she
scolded the small group. "Go on, I know you all have homework."
They dispersed unwillingly. The temporarily displaced roommate
was pleased to see that most of them were just shaking their
heads and grinning.

     "Bedroom, Butterfly?"
     "*Please*, Jim!" the younger man was gasping for breath. He
rubbed his cock on Jim's hard stomach urgently. The older man
hadn't meant to rush into this the minute he got there, but it
had been five weeks and with the kid bouncing on his groin, he
couldn't make himself wait.
     But before they could make the move there was a knock at the
door. Groaning, he tried to pull Blair off of him.
     "Excuse me...Blair? Can I come in for a minute?" Tamra
sounded friendly and a tad bit concerned.
     "Come on, Butterfly," Jim urged quietly.  "We gotta get the
door.
     Reluctantly Blair allowed himself to be peeled off, but
plastered himself to Jim's side as the older man stepped to the
door and opened it just enough to let her in.
     "Um, Jim..." blushing from the roots of his hair all the way
to his waist -- Jim could feel the heat even if he couldn't see
it -- Blair spoke up from his at Jim's side as she closed the
door behind herself and crossed her arms on her chest. "T-this s
my resident advisor, Tamra...she kinda lives next door..."
     Offering his left hand, as his right was full of Blair, Jim
smiled at the woman.
     "Jim Ellison, nice to meet you. I hope you're looking out
for my But...Blair."
    She shook the hand with her own left and smirked at the
near-slip.
     "What was that? What does he call, you, Blair?" she teased
gently, then continued without waiting for an answer. "Look,
guys, I need to sit down and talk with you for a minute. I had a
visit with the dean of students this afternoon and we hammered
out some ground rules. This is kind of a new situation for Texas
A&M."
     Jim frowned and tightened his hold on Blair. Turning his
head, his young lover buried his flaming face in Jim's side and
didn't answer, automatically passing control of the situation to
Jim. He moved them towards the couch, waiting for Tamra to sit
first before sinking down, never letting go of his young lover.
She glanced at the couch, stifled a grin, and took the battered
armchair. The two pieces of furniture really filled the little
room.
     "Go ahead." He spoke tightly, waiting for the worst. He and
Blair were to be separated for three years, with the occasional
weekend thrown in for good behavior, what more was the world
going to ask of them?
     "It's nothing serious." sounding sincere, she hastened to
reassure.
     The two men just looked at her, waiting; Jim serious and
calm, Blair somewhat worried, but also calm in the presence of
the older man.
     "Just a few concerns that we thought needed to be addressed.
Especially in light of recent, uh, developments."
     Making a small distressed noise, Blair burrowed deeper into
Jim's side. The older man tightened his arm around his young
love. Jim frowned and glanced down at his lover before turning
back to Tamra.
     "What developments?" he asked suspiciously.
     "A couple of the guys expressed concern over the two of you
showering together in the common shower. They don't have any
problem with Blair bathing there, they've pretty much figured out
that he's not going to be looking at *them*." she smiled widely,
briefly. "But they did say it would make them uncomfortable to
find the two of you in there together. 'More than I want to know'
is how one of them put it."
     She seemed to be waiting for a response.
     Blair just shook his head, unable to look up. His emotions
were running too high for him to deal with this right now.
     "We're not about to start making out in the public showers.
I shower everyday with a group of men. I don't understand what
the problem is." it was hard to answer calmly, and he was
becoming more concerned over his Butterfly's increasing
embarrassment, looking at him, face hidden, and not at her.
     She cocked her head and looked curious at that, but just
nodded and went on.
     "Then there's the question of the noise level..." She was
trying to be delicate. In his embarrassment, Blair did appreciate
the effort. 
     "Noise level?" After giving her a curious glance Jim turned
his attention back to the young man burrowed into his side.  "You
been playing your boom-box too loudly, Butterfly?" He didn't seem
to notice the endearment slip out.
     A soft groan from Blair, smothered in Jim's shirt. His hand
gripped the cloth until his knuckles whitened. The curly head
shook rapidly.
     "I use the headphones you gave me..." he whispered.
     "I'm refering to," she paused and looked at him
meaningfully, "*other* noises."
     "Other noises?" For a moment Jim looked patently lost.
Blair groaned and seemed to be trying to climb right into Jim's
skin with him in a paroxym of humiliation. "Other..." He trailed
off and a faint blush tinged his cheeks as it occurred to him what
she was talking about. "That won't be a problem." he snapped
shortly, tightening his hold on the younger man and running a
soothing hand along his arm. "Anything else?"  He clearly wanted
her to leave.
     "Hey, look. It may not seem like it, but I'm on your side.
There have been a couple of requests that we keep you out of
here, Mr. Ellison. The dean is uncomfortable because of Blair's
age and several other residents are uncomfortable because of your
orientation. No one has asked you to do anything other than be
reasonably discreet."
     Standing, she waited for a response of some sort. Since she
didn't seem angry, Blair found the courage to speak up, peering
at her from the safety of Jim's embrace.
     "We won't cause any trouble, Tam." he said it softly, but it
was still a promise. She looked to Jim for his as well.
     "We won't start anything." He told her, deliberate in his
phrasing.
     "Good enough." she stepped out the door and then glanced

back, grinning. "I can offer Lindy my couch tonight, if you
like."
     "Nah, that wouldn't be fair to her." relaxing slightly,
Blair met her eyes. He read approval and maybe some slight degree
of envy in them. 
     Jim spoke slowly, resentfully.
     "I just wonder if you would be having this "little talk"
with us if I had been a woman."
     "But you're not, Jim." she said calmly, not taking the bait.
"And for now, that matters."
     Jim watched her go, then turned back to the bundle in his
arms.
     "You okay, Butterfly?" he asked gently.
     The blue eyes stared up at him solemnly.
     "You're *here*. Everything is *great*." he answered shyly,
hugging Jim with surprising tenderness.
     He beamed down at the kid.
     "I love you Butterfly. Now which of these two doors leads to
your room?" Grinning down at the younger man he rocked his hips
softly against him.  The erection that had disappeared with
Tamra's arrival was rapidly returning now that he was again alone
with Blair.
     "This one." Came the quiet reply.  Blair took his hand and
led him into his room, closing the door behind him - he was
learning.

     Jim pushed him up against the closed door, pressing his body
into the younger man and plundering his mouth.
     "My body aches for you.  I've missed you so much."  Voice
breathless, the words were punctuated by tiny nips and kisses
placed along the slender neck.
     "I missed you too, Jimmm...." panting, Blair pressed his
body firmly to his big lover's and opening his mouth to him. His
arms curled around Jim's neck and he spread his legs slightly,
the bulge of his cock hot against Jim's thigh. Up on his toes he
rubbed against Jim a little.
     With a groan the older man's hips began to dance.
     "P-pick me up, Jim." the younger man groaned. He was pushing
himself harder into the big man's thigh. "I want - want y-you
holding me tight..."
     Sliding his hands under Blair's ass, Jim pulled him up his
body until their cocks were aligned through their jeans and the
younger man's legs slid around his waist.
     "*Tighter*." The kid panted, hanging on desperately. With a
desperate moan Jim pressed him back against the door and began
to move rhythmically.
     "Oh god Butterfly, I can't wait, I can't wait!" he cried out
as he set a frenzied pace, pushing his entire body into Blair's.
Crushed between Jim and the door, Blair was along for the ride.
Letting the bigger man take control of their movements, he
gripped his forearms with his hands behind Jim's back and groaned
into Jim's mouth, trying to muffle the sounds he couldn't  help
making.
     Pulling his mouth away from the younger man's, gasping for

air, Jim bit down on the flesh at the juncture of Blair's neck
and shoulder as he came.  The liquid spread a warm stain across
the front of his pants.
     He continued to buck against Blair, angling his thrusts now
to maximise the contact against the younger man's cock.
     "Come for me, Butterfly..." he whispered into his ear,
rimming it gently before thrusting his tongue in and out of the
sensitive canal.
     "*Jim*." Blair grunted and shuddered as his body released
itself at last and his arms and legs slackened. He began sliding
down Jim's body bonelessly, his jeans just as wet. Lifting him,
the bigger man carried his lover to the bed.
     It was unmade, covers tossed and sheets crumpled, and the
colors seared his eyes. He gently undressed the younger man,
taking care not to catch his softening penis against his jeans or
underwear. Ignoring his own discomfort, he bent to lick his lover
clean.
     Blair lay quiescent, eyes dreamy, pliant under his hands. Jim
resisted the urge to take his cock into his mouth, he wanted to
romance the kid, take him out to a fancy restaurant, go walking
through the green...
     "I love you, Jim." the whisper was so soft he barely heard
it.
     Still on his knees, Jim tenderly kissed his way up to the
younger man's mouth and whispered into it "I lover you too,
Butterfly." before wrapping his tongue around Blair's. Beneath
his touch the kid stretched lazily and sighed into his mouth.
When the kiss broke he showed every sign of wanting to curl up
and sleep, just like a satisfied kitten.
     Breaking away reluctantly, the older man made quick work of
removing his own clothes and slid into the small bed, curling
around his young lover. The bed was small for the two of them but
Blair fixed that problem by nudging him back and sprawling across
Jim's body.
     "Just for a few minutes, Butterfly." the older man told him,
holding him tightly. Despite his best intentions he fell asleep
shortly after Blair did.

     Raising his head, Blair looked about the room, realizing
that it was getting dark. He pressed a gentle kiss to the chest
beneath his cheek, and then snuffled lower to lick at a soft
nipple that immediately tightened.
     With a low groan Jim woke, his arms tightening around the
kid, one hand sliding up to press the curly head to his broad
chest.
     "yess..." he moaned softly. "taste me, Butterfly."
     Obediently Blair licked and then suckled both nipples until
they were hard and throbbing and Jim's cock wasn't far behind. So
he was surprised when Jim pulled him up his body, kissed him
soundly, and then shifted from beneath him to stand.
     "Jim?" not too unsure, he was getting comfortable enough to
stop being afraid when Jim acted in ways he didn't expect. But
still nervous.
     "We've got all night." the older man smiled gently. "Let's

get cleaned up and I'll take you out to dinner."
     "Will we have ice cream afterwards?" a shy smile as Blair
tried to tease a little.
     Grinning widely, Jim scooped him up in his arms and swung
him in a slow circle.
     "We can have anything you want, kid, but you better be
prepared for the consequences!" he teased back gently, thrilled by
Blair's words.
     "You, um, you cleaned me up pretty good..." the kid blushed
lightly as he spoke. "Why don't I get your bag from the truck
while you run to the bathroom?" his eyes begged Jim not to make
this awkward for him.
     Reluctantly the older man set him down with a final kiss and
fished the keys out of his pocket. They walked out of the bedroom
together. Lindy looked up from the couch. She was watching tv and
grinned at them knowingly.
     "Hey, Blair. You forgot these." pointing at the cornflowers
that she'd tucked into a water pitcher, she grinned at Jim as
well. Her eyes traveled over them and lingered on the stained
spot at the front of Jim's jeans knowingly.
     "Wow, Jim..." burying his face in the flowers, Blair raised
it again to turn the most adoring look on his lover. "You are so
sweet, man."
     "Go get my stuff, kid." Jim said gruffly. Blaire blinked and
then followed Lindy's glance and couldn't suppress a giggle.
"*Oops*."
     Trying to retain his dignity, Jim took a seat on the couch.
"I think I'll wait until you get back to go clean up." he said
with as much nonchalance as he could muster. "C'mon, Butterfly,
don't leave me like this."
     The girl's eyes widened and her mouth formed a soft little
'o' at the endearment. She sighed happily as Blair blushed
faintly.
     "I'll walk with you." she offered, hopping off the couch.
Blair dropped a kiss on Jim's lips as he passed and Jim patted
his ass affectionately, making his blush deepen. The older man
could hear her as the walked down the hall, she bounced almost as
much as the kid did.
     "Blair, he's terrific, wonderful, where did you find him?
What does he do, you have to tell me all about him, I mean, of
course, you don't *have* to, but he looks at you like he wants to
eat you alive, God, Blair, where did you find this guy? It had to
be something remarkable, this is like the stuff of legends,
y'know, like Romeo and Juliet or something. I mean, not Romeo and
*Juliette*, you know what I mean, don't you? Let me just take my
foot out of my mouth now..."
     Covering his eyes with one hand and shaking his head, Jim
allowed himself to laugh in the privacy of the dorm room.

     A little while later, after a quick wash up in the bathroom
-- fortunately deserted -- Jim was dressing in clean clothes in 
the kid's room. Sitting on the bed, Blair was watching him with
hungry eyes. Stooping to check his hair in the little framed
mirror over the dresser, Jim straightened and looked around,
noticing that something was missing.
     {There's no big mirror.}
     That bothered him. How was Blair supposed to see himself the
way he should if he didn't have a big enough mirror?
     {I'll have to do something about that later.} he thought as
he turned and held out an arm. The kid tucked himself up to his
side tightly, an arm around him as well, and they headed out into
the warm night.

     Getting into the truck, they didn't notice the man in the
small rental car at the other side of the lot. When they drove
off he started up and drove to a payphone and dialed, a frown on
his thin face.
     "This is Sgt. Harper, Colonel Oliver is expecting my...okay,
thank you." he picked at the peeling paint of the booth as he
waited. "Yeah. Yeah, he went straight to the kid. Spent about
three hours up there and now they've taken off. I'll stay the
night and see if he does, okay? Is that what you want?"
     A piece of the stiff brown layer became caught beneath a
nail. He worried at it with his teeth and answered in a mumble,
then pulled it away and repeated himself.
     "Hmdid Umble...Excuse, me, no, sir, that's not what I said.
Yes, I'd like a chance at a mission like that, but I don't
understand why Ellison --" a pause and he grimaced, "Yes, Lt.
Ellison, yes, sir, I don't understand what he's done to deserve a
mission like this...yes, sir. Yes, sir. I won't sir. I will, sir.
Don't doubt my loyalty to my uniform, sir." He hung up, not
smiling but not frowning either.

     Several hundred miles away a tall fair man in a uniform hung
up the phone on his end and gestured at his secretary.
     "Get me captain Hguang of the fifty-third airborne. I don't
care what time it is or where he is, I want to talk to him
*now*."

     Sgt. Harper of the fifty-third airborne drove off campus to
grab a burger and a paper and then returned to resume his
surveillance.

***

     Jim watched Blair eat his dessert with indulgence. He firmly
ignored the curl of desire that was trying to get something
started in his groin.
     At least, that's what he told himself he was doing.
     In reality the kid was making him crazy; licking and
nibbling and sucking at his ice cream. He swallowed as big blue
eyes met his and a pink tongue slipped between sweet-kissed lips
to lick away a dollop of chocolate sauce.
     He was never feeding the kid ice cream in public again. 
You'd think he'd have learned his lesson by now.
     "Thanks for dinner, Jim." Blair said softly, dropping his
spoon into his bowl. "I've never been anywhere so...romantic."
His eyes drifted to the couples moving across the dance floor and

a wave of longing passed over his face. Taking his hand, Jim
leaned towards him and murmured quietly.
     "I don't think either of us are ready for dancing in public,
Butterfly."
     The kid's eyes filled with disappointment, but he nodded his
agreement.
     "But that doesn't mean we can't dance when we get back to
your dorm room.  If you want."
     The younger man bounced in his seat, head nodding.
     "That'd be great Jim.  Can we go now?"
     Chuckling gently, Jim signalled the waiter for their bill.
     "Anything you want, Butterfly.  Anything at all."

     Lindy was in her room, door completely closed when they got
back. Jim smiled at her tact.  He was glad had wound up being
Blair's roommate, she was good for the young student.

     Blair found the cassette he was looking for and soon his
room filled with the gentle strains of harp and Lorena McKennit's
voice.  
     Wrapping his arms around Jim's waist, he snuggled into his
lover as the older man's arms enfolded him within their circle
and the two men began to sway. Blair lost himself in the
sensation of moving with his lover.  It was different from making
love.  Not just in the obvious way, but the whole dynamic. He was
comfortably surrounded by Jim.  The older man's head rested on
his, his hands running in soothing circles along his back. He
could feel Jim's cock, only half erect, pressed against his
belly, his own was a little harder, snuggled up as it was against
the thigh that moved them in slow circles.
     The desire was there, but it wasn't consuming them.
     "I love you, Jim."  He didn't want to break the spell they
were weaving around themselves but felt compelled to say it,
needing to weave words into it.
     Jim's head dropped to nuzzle his hair near his ear.  "And I
love you, Butterfly." he whispered softly, tongue coming out to
play delicately among the small hoops.
     Blair sighed happily and felt the cock at his abdomen
tighten slightly as his breath caressed the older man's neck.
Eyes closed, he tilted his head back, mouth opening, trusting
that it wouldn't be left there gaping.
     It wasn't.
     Tongue playing gently over the kid's full lips, Jim
darted it in and out of his mouth with quick little strokes.
     Exploring and tasting.
     Teasing and soothing.
     The circling hands on his back widened their circumference
to include his flanks and buttocks and Blair found himself
pressing tighter against the hard thigh, rocking slightly.
     "Shhh. Butterfly.  Easy does it, we have all night."  The
older man's hands came down to hold his hips still, mouth raining
soft little kisses over his upturned face.
     Capturing his lips again, Jim let go of the younger man's
hips and insinuated one hand between their bodies to slowly work

at the buttons on Blair's shirt.
     The single desk lamp lent a romantic air to the otherwise
prosaic room, its light diffused to a soft green by the old scarf
Blair had dug up from the bottom drawer, a keepsake from his
traveling mother, Naomi.
     Their silhouettes merged into one against the blind that
covered the window.
     Jim ran a gentle hand over the flesh peeking through the
opened shirtfront, fingertips teasing lightly. One hand caught
Blair's and moved it to his own shirt, encouraging the younger man
to return the gentle caresses. Blair fumbled for a moment with
the buttons, but soon had them undone. Instead of tracing the
edges of the shirt with his hands, he leaned his head forward and
ran his tongue along the warm skin.
     Moans, low and deep, escaped his lover's throat.
     "Blair..." the sound, barely a whisper, caressed the younger
man's ears and his nerves came alive to even the currents in the
air. As one they tugged each other's shirts out of their pants
and stepped back to push them off shoulders.
     They came back together, softly rubbing their chests. The
nipple ring was cold against Jim's hot flesh and he groaned as it
brushed his skin again and again. His hands moved down to slip
beneath the waistband of Blair's jeans where they kneaded firm
flesh.
     The music stopped, its absence unnoticed by the two men;
absorbed in each other they continued to move to a rhythm of
thier  own making. Blair's lips toyed with Jim's right nipple for
long protracted minutes.  The older man arched his head back and
let the gentle tugging pull the blood into his cock.
     Pulling the kid closer against his thigh, he drifted them
towards the bed. Coming into contact with the edge of it, they
stopped long enough to remove jeans, underwear and shoes.  Naked,
Jim laid back against sheets.
     The coolness of the brightly-colored cotton sang against 
his heated flesh and he arched up as Blair' body descended over
his.
     The sudden movement from the older man distracted Blair's
easy grace and their cocks landed apart from each other. A soft
blush suffused his face and Jim could feel the sudden heat as the
younger man hid his face in Jim's shoulder.
     "Butterfly?"  The soft question was nuzzled into his curls.
When no  answer was given a large hand gently tipped his face up.
     "I...I missed." Blair shrugged awkwardly, feeling ungainly.
The large hand was joined by it's mate and together they flowed
soothingly down the younger man's back.
     "That's debatable, Butterly.  I can feel every breath you
take against my cock, it's intoxicating."
     Blair's blush deepened, but he looked pleased as well.
     Leaving one hand on Blair's hip, with the other one Jim
grasped the smaller man's and ass pressed him downward,
undulating slowly beneath him, and Blair slowly relaxed against
him, letting the older man do all the work.
     As his arousal became urgent, Jim shifted, the movement
bringing their erections into alignment.  He reached over to

Blair's hand, pulling it down to circle their cocks, moving his
own hand around the other side and overlapping Blair's.
     The younger man groaned as Jim moved their hands up and down
in long slow strokes.
     Straining forward, Jim claimed his lover's mouth, before
letting his head drop back down.  
     "Use me to quiet your noises, Butterfly."
     Blushing again at the reminder, Blair stifled another groan
in the back of his throat.
     "No."  Jim shook his head.  "I like the noises, don't stop
them, just muffle them against me, so I know they're there."
Feeling Blair's mouth open against his collarbone, the older man
smiled his pleasure and sped the motion of their hands. The
vibrations from Blair's moans against his skin ran through his
body.
     Moving his head from side to side on the bed, his hand
faltered, but the kid had the rhythm now and took up the slack
until Jim could continue. 
     The older man began to whisper into his lover's ear,
offering encouragement. 
     "yes, baby, come" he whispered for every moan that
reverberated through him.
     The tension built slowly through their bodies and long
moments later they tightened against one another, Blair's
purchase against Jim's shoulder becoming a bite as he suppressed
his cry of joy.
     Hands still wrapped around their softening cocks, Blair
soothed the  shoulder, but didn't let the bite marks embarrass
him. Instead he licked it gently before whispering into his
lover's ear.
     "I love you."
     Jim kissed both eyelids, his nose, and finally Blair's mouth
before reluctantly releasing his grip on their genitals. He
smoothly rose up to turn off the light, first using some tissue
to quickly clean their bellies.
     Slipping back into the bed, he lay on his back and scooped
Blair up to once again cover him, pulling the covers up over them
both.
     The younger man almost purred beneath his stroking hands.
     Sleep wrapped the two men in its embrace.

***
     They were walking through the parking lot. The weather had
finally broken, it was sunny but not so hot, a beautiful day. Jim
was carrying the large box. Blair walked right next to him,
wishing he could hold his hand, their arms brushing as he kept
pace.
     {He's going to leave and it might be months until I see him
again. He could go on a mission, get hurt, even *die*...} his
face paled and he slowed his walk.
     Slowing himself and dropping back as the kid fell behind,
Jim shot him a quick glance. Blair was looking at the ground,
chewing on his lower lip nervously.
     "What?" he asked quietly.     
     The kid shrugged and didn't answer.
     Sighing, Jim didn't push the issue.  They would be back at
Blair's dorm room in a few minutes and that would be soon enough
to question him. Although he could probably guess the problem. It
was the same one he was having, he just had more experience at
hiding things. This damn kid didn't hide anything -- that face
showed *everything*.
     The girl at the desk -- Andrea, he remembered her name,
grinned at them as they passed and smirked openly.
     Blair pressed closer to Jim as they went up the stairs and
several more people greeted them that way. Most of them did it in
a friendly way, but a couple looked malicious about it. Jim hoped
they weren't going to give him a hard time after he left.
     Blair unlocked the door, although one of the first things
they'd done Saturday morning was get a copy of the key made for
Jim.
     They made a beeline for Blair's room where Jim began
immediately to open the box he's been carrying. The tape that
sealed it was pretty tough and didn't want to give under his
hands.
     Looking back at Blair he asked for something to cut it with.
     The teenager passed over a Swiss army knife.
     Cutting through the tape, Jim eagerly opened the box,
carefully pulling out a floor-length mirror.
     "Where do you want it, Butterfly?" he asked with quiet
pleasure.
     Blair had opened the closet door and was trying the angle to
see if it would show from the bed.
     "Here, I think." he sounded almost bashful again. "I can't
believe you bought that for me, Jim."
     The mirror was fairly plain, some might call it utilitarian,
but it was the reflection that was to hold the beauty not the
thing itself.
     "I don't want you to forget yourself, Butterfly." The older
man told him softly.  "How can you look in the mirror and
remember if you don't *have* a mirror?"
     "There's that little one over the dresser..." pointing,
Blair trailed off and lowered his hand, letting his head fall
forward, hair hiding his face as he stood.
     The older man laughed softly.  "That little thing?  You can
barely see your face in that. What shines from you is *big*. Now
come and hold this up while I get the screws in."
     A sudden bright blush suffused the young face as Blair
complied, still not looking at him.
     It shouldn't have taken Jim so long to put the mirror up,
but he lingered over it, enjoying doing the work in close
proximity to the young man.

     Once hung, the mirror offered a perfect view from the bed,
which is where Jim pulled the younger man, standing once again
behind him.
     Head still hanging, Blair leaned back into the embrace. He
was trembling slightly.
     "What do you see, Butterfly?" whispered. He framed Blair's

head in his hands and pointed it towards the mirror.
     The room was still bright with daylight that bounced off the
pristine glass.
     Leaning his face to the side to rub his stubbled jaw into
that hand, Blair stared and his eyes grew round and dark as he
answered. 
     "I see myself. Your beautiful butterfly...and you."
     "*Yes*." the older man exhaled. "That's exactly right
Blair.  My beautiful butterfly."  Leaning forward Jim pulled back
the long curly hair and began to lick and nibble at the exposed
slender neck.
     Blair made a soft sound and lay his head back, leaning
against his big lover. His hands moved to grip Jim's hips moved
slowly behind him and he closed his eyes reverently as the
younger man began to move with him.
     "No." Softly, no more no less, just the one word.
     Startled, the eyes opened and the kid tilted his head way
back to look up at Jim, worry written on his fine features. His
hands tightened on Jim's hips.
     "Jim? What's wrong?"
     "I want you to watch while we make love."  Running his hands
down the young man's body as he spoke, Jim stopped at his waist
long enough to pull his shirt from his waistband.  On the way
back up, he slid his hands underneath the shirt, pressing his
hands against the heated flesh.
     The words brought a fresh blush to the young man's face. He
did keep his eyes open, but he also kept his head back and looked
at Jim, not the mirror. A soft moan hissed between his teeth and
he arched slightly, encouraging Jim to touch him.
     Hands moved back to the outside of his shirt and began to
undo the buttons.  The older man nudged his face against Blair's.

    "The mirror, Imp, not me."
     That made Blair shiver, but he obediently tipped his head
back down and tried to look at the mirror. The sight of Jim's
hands undressing him was almost too much. The blush flared and he
closed his eyes, just for a moment, seeking to ease the
intensity, but they seemed to want to stay closed.
     His breathing was already picking up as his body tightened
in anticipation.
     "Please Butterfly, for me?"  The big man moved away as he
whispered the words, slipping the shirt from his young lover's
shoulders, following it down his arms with his fingertips. 
Letting it drop unheeded onto the floor. Stepping forward again,
he wrapped his strong arms tightly around the bared chest in a
full-body hug.
     "I-I'm trying, Jim, I *am*..." panting, Blair opened his
eyes for just a few seconds before closing them again. "It's like
if I see everything you do I feel it twice as much..." A shiver
ran through him and the older man was reminded of their first
time together, when Blair had seemed ready to die of terminal
embarrassment before he got him calmed down.
     Pressing himself into the embrace, Blair didn't turn around,
but clung to Jim as best he could in this position.
     Squeezing the younger man even tighter, he began to tug
gently on the small silver hoops in Blair's ear.
     "Relax, Butterfly, and enjoy it.  I want you to be able to
look in the mirror and see this when I'm not here with you."
     A harder shiver ran through the younger man's frame, but he
kept his eyes trained on the mirror that faced them. Those eyes
were as wide and round and blue as Jim had ever seen them.
     But his voice quavered when he spoke.
     "W-when you're not here....I don't know, Jim....I-if I
can..." The shiver increased.
     "Yes you can, Butterfly. For me you can."
     Jim let his lips wander around the slender neck that was
laid bare to him. Running his hands from Blair's neck to his
waistband and back up again, the older man began to slowly undo
buttons.
     He placed a kiss on the younger man's face for each button
that was undone.
     Each eye, his nose, cheeks, and forehead.
     Every one drew a soft sigh from parted lips.
     Jim fiddled for a moment with the button on Blair's jeans,
but eschewed it for the shirt, this time pulling it off the
surprisingly broad shoulders.
     He stepped back, only as far as he needed to remove the
shirt.
     The kid was still too thin, but he didn't care. He pulled
his own shirt over his head and snuggled his warm chest up against
Blair's.
     His hands danced through the hair on the kid's chest,
flicking teasingly at the nubs playing peekaboo there.
     With a quiet moan the kid pushed back against him, his eyes
slipping shut again. His young body was highlighted with a fine
sheen of sweat as he became excited. The light that filtered in
between the closed blinds striped it delicately, making him look
even thinner. Almost...ethereal.
     "Please watch, Butterfly, please. I want you to see how your
face looks as it flushes with passion.  How your skin glows as
you get more excited by my touch.
     His hands slipped to Blair's jeans.
     "I want you to see how your body looks when I make you
come."
     "Jim...." a sigh and Blair opened his eyes again, but only a
slit, staring through them hotly, meeting Jim's in the silvered
glass. "I don't know if I can do that." he didn't stammer or look
away, but he was blushing fiercely and his body was tense now,
tiny tremors running through it.
     There was a sudden noise from the hallway outside the room,
reminding him that it was still the middle of the day, and Blair
jumped, then giggled a little hysterically.
     "Oh, man, *Jim*." he gripped the older man's hips more
tightly and wiggled his ass on Jim's groin. "I love you. You know
that, right?"
     It seemed very important to him that Jim answer that.
     "Oh yeah, Butterfly." Jim's voice was husky and sweet. "I
know you love me.  I know that better than I know anything."
     He grunted as Blair continued to move his body.

     "Ah, Butterfly, I can't think when you do that..." his voice
trailed off and his hands settled over the younger man's hips and
guided his movements
     His chest was on fire where it melded with Blair's strong
back.
     Closing his lips over the prominent collarbone, he bit and
soothed, worrying the flesh between his teeth and lips
     Arching back into him the kid tried to give him better
access, straining until his body touched Jim just at those two
points; his shoulders pressed hard to Jim's chest and his ass
tight to his groin.
     Jim's own erection was outlined beneath his jeans and he
increased the movements of his hips, trying to find some relief
for the near-pain it felt now.
     Jim groaned again, the sound reverberating along his
collarbone as one hand slid to fumble with the button at the top
of his jeans. He had to force his hand between them, Blair was
pushing so hard.
     Finally succeeding in undoing it, he slid down his own
zipper.  "Bu...Bu...Butterfly" he stammered out, voice made rusty
by passion. "Undo your pants...can't...do them...for you."
     When Blair moved a hand toward his fly he lost the rhythm of
his motion and had to concentrate briefly to get it back without
clinging to Jim so tightly.
     His eyes shut again as he did so, but opened quickly. As if
that was a signal his mouth opened as well and he began panting
loudly.
     *Jim*..." he groaned, barely managing to get his jeans
unzipped one-handed. "I can't...c-can't look...."
     It was obvious that he was fighting himself. He blinked and
shook his head, hair brushing over the bigger man's sensitized
skin like rough silk.
     When his cock was free at last he timidly wrapped his hand
around it, then pulled it away as if he'd been burnt. The hand
wavered in the air before them, as if lost, and then finally rose
to settle on the back of Jim's neck as Blair pulled himself up on
his toes, still arched, body taut, offering himself to his lover
the only way he knew how.
     A single shaft of light fell across his face, picking out
cheekbones in stark relief, the mixture of fear-desire-shame
somehow making him more beautiful, even shockingly so.
     Jim hastily shoved their pants down into pools at their
feet, his cock pressing urgently against the top of Blair's ass. 
Taking the hands that circle his neck into his hands, he moved
them down to grasp the hard cock.
     Wrapping his own hands around the kid's he began to slowly
pump them up and down.
     "Look at our hands Butterfly, look at how they glide over
you, four hands moving like one. His voice was barely a whisper,
ragged in the younger man's ear.
     Blair moaned loudly, helplessly, his hips beginning to take
the rhythm, thrusting forward and back. His eyes stared into the
mirror, huge in the thin face, dominating it.
     The next moan was louder, but he couldn't stop it.

     His hands moved convulsively beneath Jim's.
     Awkward, straining, Jim covered his young lover's mouth with
his own, absorbing the moans into himself.
     Jim's cock was a brand of fire at his back, their hands were
a vice around his cock.
     With a strangled cry that might have been a name, he yanked
one hand free, pulling his mouth away from Jim's and let his head
fall back to the older man's chest, fisting the free hand and
stuffing it as far into his mouth as he could as he bucked in
Jim's grip.
     Burying his mouth in Blair's shoulder in an attempt to
stifle his own cries, Jim moved his hips in counter rhythm to
Blair's, the friction against his cock becoming almost
intolerable in its pleasure. He was ready to come, but he didn't
want to get there until the younger man went with him.
     The tension in the kid's body was stretching him even
thinner. His movements were becoming erratic, frantic. But he
kept his eyes open -- they seemed to grow somehow larger, darker.
He bit his hand so hard that Jim knew he was going to leave
bruises.
     Low noises snuck past the improvised gag as he pumped and
bucked and shook. 
     Unable to hold back any longer, the little noises were Jim's
downfall, knowing that they were only shadows of the sounds Blair
was making.  He came with a cry, thrusting his hips tightly with
each pulse of liquid, his teeth sinking into the flesh under his
mouth, breaking the skin.
     He continued to move against the younger man, letting his
own come ease the friction between their bodies.  Little jolts
spasmed through him.  Turning his head he grabbed the earrings in
his teeth and pulled strongly on them.  "Let it go Butterfly, let
it go and come for me." he growled around the silver hoops. His
hands tightened their hold and sped up.
     With a choked-off cry Blair shuddered in his arms and thick
heat dripped over their hands as the kid's legs gave out and he
slumped bonelssly, eyes sliding shut once more, bruised hand
falling away limply.
     Gathering his beloved's body in his arms the ranger sat on
the bed, back against the cool touch of the wall and held him.
Raining tiny kisses over his scalp, he let the silky curls fill
his mouth and play under his tongue.
     "*God*, Butterfly, I love you so much."
     After a few minutes Blair blinked and smiled up at him. He
was blushing again, brilliant red, but he smiled shyly, so
sweetly, before ducking his head back to Jim's chest, turning his
body into the bigger one and cuddling close.
     "I-I watched..." he said haltingly. The heat of his body
flared out to surround the other man.
     "I know, and I watched you watch.  I know you saw it.  Saw
your beauty.  I know you'll remember that always." He chuckled
softly. "When we're old and gray, we'll make love in front of
that mirror, and we'll see ourselves like we were today."
     "*Jim*..." the sigh was happy and almost painfully young.
     The kid wasn't surfacing from his refuge. 

     Jim clung to him, not wanting to let go.  Knowing that when
he did he'd have to go out the door, down the stairs, get into
his truck and drive away.
     He had no idea when he'd make it here again, and that
uncertainty was threatening to taint their last few minutes
together.
     Continuing to hold the younger man in his arms, he watched
in the mirror as the reflected sunlight danced over their bodies.
     He would have to leave before it faded. It was a long drive
back and he had a briefing scheduled for the practice jump they
were going to make in the morning. Briefly he worried what his
men were going to think, if they had realized that he'd cut out
of town, if they suspected where he'd gone. Eli knew, it was just
too damn dangerous for him to be totally out of contact.

     When the light bouncing off the mirror began to change
color, to shade from bright canary to a warmer lemon, he shifted,
gently shaking the youth dozing in his embrace. Leaning over the
warm form that had molded to him as if they were one person, Jim
brushed his lips over the smooth forehead.
     "Butterfly?" he voice cracked on the word and he swallowed
hard, then tried again. "Butterfly. Wake up, honey. I'm going
have to...." he paused, trying to find the right word. "-to *go*
soon."
     A shiver ran through the slender body and the arms around
him clutched tighter.
     "I know. I know. I don't want to." tightening his own grip,
Jim held the kid as hard as he dared.
     A single sob escaped Blair and he forced the others down
before raising his head and meeting Jim's eyes with shining dark
ones.
     "I don't want to make it harder for you."
     Jim didn't answer, just gazed down at him as if  he were
trying to memorize his face well enough to paint it.
     Carefully the kid unwrapped himself from the larger body.
Taking a deep breath, he framed Jim's face with hands that still
shook. Leaning in, he covered the older man's mouth with his own
and caressed his tongue greedily.
     Then he tugged Jim to his feet.
     "Go wash up...I'll pack your stuff."
     "You don't -" seeing the blue eyes fill with tears, Jim bit
off the rest of the sentence. " - okay, Butterfly. I'll be right
back." He left the room quickly, brushing past Lindy when she
greeted him from her upside-down reading position on the couch,
missing the concerned glance she threw him.
     By the time he returned Blair was in control of himself
again, but the evidence of fresh tears was obvious despite the
wash he'd given his face.
     Taking his bag from the younger man's hand, he stroked the
other briefly across the front of the shirt the kid had chosen to
wear. It was Jim's favorite of the ones he had picked for him.
     Soft cotton, deep blue, with a collar and pinstripes of
black. It made him look older.
     "My Butterfly comes in so many colors." he sighed.

     "Mostly red." Blair mumbled bashfully.
     "That's one of my favorites." Jim smiled but couldn't keep
the sadness out of it. "You don't have to go down with me." he
was afraid that the kid would be embarrassed if he broke down in
front of other people.
     "Yes I do. I'm not going to lose a minute that I might have
with you." wrapping an arm securely around Jim's waist, Blair
leaned into him for just a moment, then pulled away. Dropping a
last kiss on the top of the curly head -- tasting the sweat and
remnants of their love in the air around them -- Jim sighed and
allowed himself to close his eyes, resting his lips there for a
few precious seconds.
     Then they pulled back, still holding each other loosely, and
walked out.

     Ever considerate, Lindy had made herself scarce for the
moment. The few people they passed on the stairs didn't look at
them. It was as if their sadness at being parted formed a shield
around them, announcing itself to the world.

     Blair stood in the parking lot for a long time. Not watching
Jim leave or talking to himself or doing anything.
     Just standing.

     By the time he reached the city limits Jim gave in to the
compulsion he was feeling. Shoving the tape in half-angrily, he
listened to the song at low volume, and wondered why the omen
he'd felt the night they picked Blair up and it had played on the
radio was hitting him so hard now.
     "If you give this man a ride, sweet memory will die..."
     Singing softly, he drove, leaving his soul behind.