Beyond

    "Okay, everybody, thank you for coming. We've got a  serious situation here...."
    Listening as the head park ranger lectured the group, Blair inched closer to his best friend sand Sentinel, Jim.
    "Why are we here again?" glancing around at the teams of    men and bloodhounds gathered in the campsite, he made a face.
    "I mean, I know why we're here, but why us?"
    "Simon thought I could help. The kid's been missing almost thirty hours now and they're getting desperate. He
called a friend of his on the park board and got me in."
    "This is Trevor's shirt, we've cut it into pieces, pass them around..."
    "Get me one of those." nudging his Guide, Jim watched as Blair walked over and took one, ignoring the glare from the ranger.
    "Remember that there's a cold front coming in less than twelve hours. Everyone will be equipped with two-way gear..."

    5-year-old Trevor Hughes had wandered away from his family hike early yesterday morning. His older sister,
Tabitha, had suffered an asthma attack and his parents, Susan and Elmore, had been distracted dealing with her and lost track of their son, just long enough for him to disappear despite his earlier camping experiences and the warnings his parents had drilled into his head.
    Search teams had been out all night, volunteers from Cascade, PD and firefighters beating the woods looking for
him.
    It was cold, but only dangerously so for a small child. After 24 hours search and rescue bloodhound teams had
been called and now they were gathered here, at the main camp, and Jim Ellison was with them.
    Handing him the scrap of blue fabric, Blair nodded at Jim, and they now walked a little ways away from the others, behind a stand of young trees, where Jim could scent and taste
it without an audience.
    "I've got it." he told Blair, who had been watching for a zone out. Blair patted his back and they went to load up in the truck with the others.

***

    Three hours later dusk was falling and it was getting colder. The different groups had long since separated, one set of hounds baying on some scent, the others still fanning for it.
    "Here." stopping near the base of a granite cliff-face, Jim circled a large tree, sniffing. He reached for a low
branch and pulled it up to his face, then glanced up. "He was here. I think he climbed it."
    "Why would he do that?" Blair stared up with him, but in the failing light his eyes weren't doing so well.
    "There." stepping behind him, Jim's hands framed Blair's face and tilted it upwards. "Do you see it?"
    "A cave." all he saw was a large spot, darker than the rock surrounding it. "He's five... his parents say he's
adventuresome... oh, yeah, Jim. He just might try that."
    Pleased to have his friend's agreement, Jim clicked on the radio. Blair sighed when the big hands left his chin
feeling cold again.
    "Ranger, this is Panther, do you copy, over."
    "Copy Panther, this is Ranger, what have you got, over?"
    "There's a cave, about fifteen feet up on the north cliff face and I've picked up a trail on a tree near, over."
    "Negative, Panther, that's too high for him to have reached and those caves are unstable, over." the ranger's
voice was annoyed. Glancing at Blair, who was still staring up at the cliff, Jim made his decision.
    "I'm going to check it out Ranger. Will get back to you in thirty. Over and out." Jim clicked off the handheld before the Park Ranger had a chance to respond.
    "I could have done this when I was five, Jim." Blair looked at him.
    "I know you could, partner. And that means Trevor could do it too."
    Checking his gear one more time, Jim began swinging up tree. The evergreen branches were close together, making it a relatively easy climb.
    The branch that extended toward the cave weren't very sturdy looking. There was maybe six inches of ledge in front of a roughly three-foot opening.
    "Let me go first, Jim." Blair said, unwrapping the nylon rope from his belt and tying it around his waist. "Sometimes being the smaller one is an advantage."
    The bigger man looked like he wanted to object, but he kept it in. Stuffing the flashlight into his pocket, Blair
gingerly stepped out on the branch.
    "Don't look down, Chief." Jim advised. He wrapped the tether line around the branch and tied it off with just enough to allow Blair to cross the eight-foot space.
    "Thanks a lot, Jim, that was real helpful." determinedly keeping his eyes focused ahead, Blair felt his way across. The branch bent some, but didn't break. Reaching the ledge after ten harrowing minutes, Blair
sat, bracing his feet on an outcropping, slipped the rope up under his arms.
    "Okay, I got it."
    Using the rope as a handhold Jim crossed quickly, and pushed past Blair into the cave proper, there not being enough room on the ledge for both of them. Having no piton, Blair secured the rope around the pointed outcropping, hoping that would be enough to keep it in place until they got back.
    Although it was dark now outside, it was pitch black in the cave. Blair crept in beside his partner and pulled out his flashlight.
    "I can smell him, Chief." the older man said quietly. "That way." he gestured down the smallest of the three
openings in the shallow cave wall.
    They called for him as they crawled through the narrow tunnel. Barely four feet high, it was too narrow for them to be side-by-side so Blair followed his partner. Both of them were getting sore knees and Blair's palms were being roughly abraded by the harsh rock surface. There were many openings along the sides, other tunnels branching off this one, but Jim didn't even pause at any of them.
    After twenty feet or so it broadened slightly, letting Blair catch up to Jim.
    "Trevor!" Jim yelled every ten seconds or so. "Trevor Hughes! Are you in here?"
    "Trevor! C'mon, man, we've come to find you!" Blair shouted after him.   

    Another twenty feet and then a young voice, frightened, came clearly through the air.
    "Back here!" his teeth were chattering. Blair was beginning to feel the cold as well. It was coming from one of
the side-tunnels just ahead of them. Stopping in front of it, Jim shook his head and moved on so that Blair could get to it.
    It was less than three feet across, there was no way the bigger man was going to fit. With a deep breath Blair crawled in, his flashlight between his teeth, thankful that Jim could see just fine without it. Behind him he heard Jim calling it in.
    "Ranger, this is Panther. Ranger, this is Panther. We have found him. Repeat, we have found Trevor."
    "What's his condition, Panther?" the ranger came back immediately, the disbelief in his voice carrying clearly over the airwaves.
    "He's fine, Jim!" Blair shouted out. "He's cold, got a skinned knee, but he's fine."
    "The kid is good, Ranger, the kid is in good condition. We're in the cave on the north side, about forty feet in."
    "Get out of there as quick as you can." the ranger urged. "We'll have somebody there in the hour."
    "Copy that, Ranger."
    "Good work, Panther."
    Blair's legs appeared in the hole as he wriggled himself out backwards. Jim reached to take the shivering child from him while Blair got around him to dig into Jim's pack for the thermal blanket. Unfolding it, he wrapped it around the kid in Jim's arms.
    "Does anything hurt?" asking softly, urgently, Jim was running his sensitive fingers over the slight body. Big brown eyes stared at him solemnly.
    "I stayed where I was."    
    "You did exactly the right thing." Blair praised. "I'm Blair and this is Jim. He's policeman. People have been
looking for you for two whole days."
    Those eyes got bigger and rounder.
    "So why did you climb up here?" Jim asked, shifting the kid around, flashing a quick grin at his friend.
    "I thought there would be a dragon." the child sighed and snuggled in Jim's arms, making Blair feel vaguely envious.
    "But there wasn't and I lost my light an' I couldn't remember which way to go and I was tired...so I went to sleep. I stayed where I was lost." he repeated.
    "We're going to get you out of here" Jim assured him.
    Handing the child to Blair, he cocked his head, listening and frowned. Blair saw it, but Trevor was busy cuddling up to him and didn't.
    Then Jim took the kid and set him on the ground.
    "Can you crawl fast?"
    A nod, no words. Still shivering somewhat. With a sigh
    Blair took off his coat and pulled his sweater over his head.
    "Let me get this on you." he said, and the child sat obediently while he did. Trevor was swimming it it, but Blair
folded the sleeves back several times and tied up the excess at one side and he looked warmer, at least. But now Blair was cold, but he shook his head when Jim began to strip off his own sweater for Blair. "We need to get out of here."
    They began crawling, the kid between them, Jim leading the way, the blanket left behind, neither one wanting to take the time to fold and stow it now.

    Jim paused to listen several times. The last time Blair could have sworn he heard something as well. His eyes met Jim's as the older man glanced back at them and held for a moment, the two adults acknowledging the danger they were in.
    "Trev, dude, can you go any faster?" Blair reached to swat him gently on the butt.
    "Here." Jim stopped and lay flat. "Climb on my back and I'll give you a ride."
    The tunnel ceiling was just tall enough for that, and they made better time now.
   

    The rumbling got louder and soon they could all hear it.  Jim pulled out the radio and spoke quietly as he kept going on one hand.
    "Ranger, Ranger, this is Panther, we have a problem...the cave is starting to come down."
    "Get out of there as fast as you can! We'll tr-" the reply was broken off by a sudden burst of static.
    A small shower of dirt and pebbles rained down on them. Awkwardly, Jim moved Trevor below him.
    "Stay under me, kid." he ordered. Bravely the boy nodded.
    It slowed their progress significantly, but Blair understood his partner's need to protect the kid.

    At last they reached the small, shallow cave that held the opening. Urging Trevor out onto the ledge, Jim reached and unwrapped the rope. The rumbling had stopped. Taking the flashlight from Blair, Jim pressed it into the child's hand and tied the nylon line around him in a secure body harness
while Blair sat up and took the opportunity to stretch a little behind him.
    "Just shimmy across that branch and we'll come help you down." Jim told the boy. "Your mom and dad are on their way here."
    Shivering harder, Trevor looked from the branch, highlighted in the narrow beam of the flashlight, and then
back at Jim.
    "I'm scared."
    "We'll be right out after you." Jim promised firmly. "I'm going to-" his sentence was cut off by a loud thundering sound.
    Blair just had time for one frantic shout;
    "JIM!"
    -- before the roof of the cave began collapsing.
    Curling in on himself, Blair didn't see his friend shove the frightened child from the cave, didn't hear Trevor's scream over the roar of breaking rock, and didn't see the huge chunk of granite that fell squarely onto Jim Ellison's back, crushing the pack into him and driving him into the stone floor.
    And then a rock landed on Blair's head and it didn't matter.

    "Owww..." careful not to move his throbbing head, Blair catalogued his condition with his eyes closed tight. Besides his head, his left leg was sending sharp spikes of pain through him, and he was shivering with cold.
    When he opened his eyes he found only darkness.
    Memory hit harder than the rock had.
    "Jim!" he tried to scramble forward but the movement woke the pain in his leg and he ended on his belly panting as agony tore through him, threatening his consciousness.
    It had to be broken. This hurt worse than when he was shot.
    He had to stay awake, to get to Jim.
    Feeling his way, he found the older man's legs, only a few inches away, and slowly he worked his way up the broad back. The pack was flattened, aluminum frame bent starkly.
    Tracing a strut with shaking fingers, Blair moaned aloud when they met ragged wet flesh, the metal having been driven into the middle of Jim's back.
    He found the chunk of rock that had hit Jim, lying partially on Jim's arm and he understood what had happened. Praying silently, afraid to speak aloud and make it real, Blair dragged himself along his friend's body, his own pain submerged in shock, until he felt Jim's hair, sticky with blood, and dug his fingers into the cold neck searching for a pulse.
    And found one. Faint, but real.
    "You're alive." he breathed, the relief as much a threat to him as his earlier pain had been. "I've got to get you
warm."
    Wiggling a few inches at a time, the pain threatening a blackout, he managed to get into a semi-upright position
beside Jim's head, and then his hand bumped the small cold metal cylinder of the flashlight.
    "Kid must have dropped it." he said it aloud. The silence was becoming too large for him.
    Pointing it at the cave roof above him, he turned it on with a yet another prayer and gasped as light broke through the darkness. It was weak, pale yellow, but he could see.
    It took every ounce of courage he had to turn it onto his friend.
    There was no way in hell he could restrain the moan that rose from him and echoed in the small amount of space they had left.
 

    After long minutes of staring in desperate disbelief he finally got himself under control and began a more thorough exam.
    Besides the aluminum bar that was twisted into his back, Jim's arm, the one that was under the rock, was basically crushed. There was a huge swelling at the back of his head, topped by a deep gash that still oozed sluggishly. Peering at it closely, Blair's stomach turned as he realized he was seeing bone.
    Jim was also bleeding, but not heavily, around the metal,  his breathing was short and choppy and his color was more grey than blue.
    The radio was beneath his left hip. Working carefully, Blair managed to get it out and turn it on, but all he got was static.
    "Ranger, Ranger, mayday, sos, whatever. This is Panther...we're trapped in the cave-in. We're both alive but
injured...one critically...Ranger, Ranger, come in..."
    There was no answer. He set it aside and began to do what he could to make his friend more comfortable, trying not to think about what would happen if - when - Jim woke up.

    The strut bent in his hand fairly easily and he broke it off close to the wound. Stripping off his t-shirt, he tore it
up with shaking hands and used a big piece to pad the jagged end. That left him with only his coat over his bare torso and he was shivering harder now, shock and pain and the threatened storm all conspiring against him. With his good leg, his back braced against the cave wall, he rolled the big rock off Jim's
arm and used several more strips of the soft cotton to wrap it as best he could, thankful Jim was still out, knowing how much this would hurt if he weren't.
    There wasn't much he could do for the head wound so he just tied one long piece around Jim's head. Checking to make sure there was nothing under or around his face that was interfering with his breathing, then Blair finally turned his attention to himself.

    The knot on his head was bleeding too, but it was only a shallow gash, not a deep cut. His left leg was hugely swollen  from upper thigh to the middle of his calf and he could *feel*  the ends of the bones pressing outward against the skin. But they hadn't broken through and his jeans, which were stretched painfully tight over the swelling, were actually doing a pretty good job of keeping them in position.
    Working at it slowly - pausing frequently to let the pain subside when it flared - he got himself up by Jim's head.
Then, with a desperate move and a shriek as pain ripped through him, he got his friend turned over, with the piece of aluminum just to the side of his leg, up off the ground, and Jim's head and shoulders in his lap.
    The bloodied head lolled limply. His nose was mashed and he was breathing raggedly through his mouth, but seemed to breath easier now that he wasn't lying on his chest.
    With a sobbing sigh the younger man relaxed as much as he could and closed his eyes, intending to rest, just for a little while. He wasn't even aware of it when resting become sinking and he was gone again.

***

    Waking was a much more painful experience this time. The cold had increased and it was the shuddering shivers that pulled him from the peaceful darkness. He had no idea what time it was or how long they had been
there. His watch was broken, and Jim's had been on the arm that was now imitating ground beef.
    The radio suddenly burst into static where he had set it and he grabbed it, fighting back the dizziness, depressing the send switch.
    "RANGER RANGER RANGER!!!!" he shouted desperately. "Can anyone hear me?!"
    "Pa *sstbzzz* ou *szszszsz* -dition?" a word broke through and Blair gasped, clutching it with both hands before
him. "What is your condition, Panther? We're at the foot of the cliff, trying to find a way to dig you out."
    "We're hurt, Jim's hurt *bad*!" he wailed. "It's getting colder and I don't know how much air we have left!"
    "Hang tight *spuzzt* get yo- *bzzts*." the connection died and Blair was alone again, clutching the two-way, feeling tears begin to slide down his face. He could feel them because, compared to his skin, they were warm.

    After letting himself cry for a while, Blair finally dried up and sat quietly. The flashlight beam was getting
fainter, so he turned it off, wanting to save it in case he needed it more later. Plunged into sheer blackness, only the feel of Jim in his lap kept him calm.
    It was so quiet. Jim's breathing was getting shallower, fainter. Blair tried not to think about it.
    "In the movies there's always water dripping." he said softly, needing to fill the silence. "If somebody's trapped in a cave-in, there's always water dripping in the background. Not that I would mind, I could really use a drink right now."
    He didn't expect anything to be left of their emergency supplies in the crushed pack. Searching it blindly with one hand, the other resting on Jim's cold cheek, that prediction was proven accurate. The water bottles had been destroyed, the granola bars were mush - not that he could eat them without the water anyhow.
    The little first aid kit was pulverized. He couldn't make sense of anything he felt, so left it be. Sitting quietly
again, he allowed his hands to stroke the stubbled skin of his partner's face, seeking the comfort he had always gained from Jim's touch.

    "This isn't how I thought it would end."
    It felt like it had been hours. Must have been. Just sitting, not thinking, trying not to hurt. Jim's breathing was
getting worse and his body felt even colder to Blair when he slipped a hand beneath the heavy coat.
    "I mean, I always figured we'd both buy it in a shootout someday or something. Or, maybe, we'd make it and grow old together." He laughed, and it sounded like someone's soul dying. "Yeah, that was what it sounded like, man. How could you not know? I ask myself that every day. You're a Sentinel, and you don't know. You never noticed. How could you not know I  love you? Maybe it's because it's been this way since the
first time I saw you and there wasn't any difference for you  to notice. I mean, the first time you looked up at me - you  were pissed and scared and miserable - I saw your eyes, and  that was all it took."
    Leaning over the still body, he pressed a kiss to the smooth forehead, feeling the blood that touched his lips,
tasting it.
    "How could *you* not know that I love you?"

    There was no answer from his friend.

    After a while Blair tried to rest again. But he didn't want to spend what could be his last hours asleep. His leg had stopped swelling and now all he could feel was the deep throbbing pain from the knee up, the rest of it was numb. He shivered constantly and his teeth chattered when he forgot to clench his jaw.
    "At least I'm with you." he stuttered, leaning over Jim again.
    And Jim made a sound.
    Low and hoarse, it was somewhere between a groan and a plea. Grabbing up the flashlight, Blair turned it on and
looked at his partner with wide eyes as Jim dragged himself into wakefulness.
    "Oh, God, *Jim*." breathing the words in awe, the younger man leaned over him and touched his face tenderly. "How are you, man? Can you feel your feet?"
    The pale blue eyes blinked and awareness slowly filtered into them. The big body tensed and a primal sound, a scream, tore from him and through Blair's head, leaving it ringing, and the cave walls swallowed it up hungrily.
    "Jim, Jim, you gotta be still man, you're hurt bad..."
    Trying to sooth him with words and touch, Blair petted his face and crooned as Jim struggled to move, his body refusing to respond, until the effort slackened and he lay as he had, still and silent.
    With his eyes open, watching Blair.
    Bending close, Blair whispered to him, hands framing his face, his breath warm on the cold skin.
    "It's okay, Jim. They're trying to dig us out now. They'll get us out soon and we'll be okay...just picture that
dial and turn down the pain..."
    A tiny movement of Jim's head interrupted him.
    "Can you talk? Tell me what's wrong, Jim. You've got to help yourself here, man."
    Another headshake, and then the eyes widened. Blair moaned when he heard the sound of air burbling in Jim's chest.
    Silently the big man fought for a breath.
    "Jim, stay with me, stay with me here, man, please, please don't do this to me..." frantic now, Blair didn't
notice that his hands were clutching Jim's face, leaving dark bruises. He watched in horror as Jim's eyes rolled back and his chest gave one final lurch and was still.
    "SHIT!"
    Prying Jim's mouth open, Blair desperately began giving mouth-to-mouth. He was feeling dizzy and drained himself, but, after the most painful minutes of his life, Jim gasped and sucked air in, hissing as he did so, and his eyes fluttered open again.
    Having used all of his reserve energy, Blair went limp and passed out, slumping to the side, unaware of Jim staring at him with tear-filled eyes.

    The cave reeked of desperation. After regaining consciousness one more time, Blair had tried again to raise
somebody on the radio with no luck. Finally he gave up and set it down again and curled over Jim as best he could. Propping his head on an elbow, he stared into the dying eyes of his
best friend.
    "i'm not going to be able to hang on much longer." he whispered. Numb from the cold, he was feeling sleepy now as well. "I wonder what will get me first - the hypothermia or suffocation."
    Jim blinked and Blair smiled sadly, tracing his jaw with a shaking finger that was almost blue. He couldn't feel the skin beneath it, but knew it was as cold as his own.
    "you don't seem to be hurting too bad. i guess the spinal cord is broken. would you want to live like that, jim? in a chair, not able to take care of yourself or anyone else?" reaching down, he patted one large hand with his own smaller one. Jim hadn't moved anything besides his head since first opening his eyes. "but you're breathing on your own. if i could think of a way to sacrifice myself to save you, you know
i'd do it."
    A minuscule movement. Blair decided that it had been a nod.
    "and i know you'd so the same for me."
    He was silent again, numb hand caressing Jim's equally numb face. Past shivering, he was feeling sleepy and oddly content.
    "at least i get to do this here, with you. that makes it bearable."
    A twist of Jim's lips that could have been a smile.
    "b-bah-bah...ahhhh..." struggling, Jim tried to make a sound.
    "Shh." Blair petted him. "don't try to talk. save your air. you're stronger than i am, maybe if they get here in time you'll make it."
    He tried to believe that, but knew what his eyes and ears were telling him as well. Jim's breathing was slowing even further and his pulse was so faint Blair could no longer feel it with his numb hands.
    The light in his eyes was fading faster than the flashlight batteries.
    Jim made a sound, so filled with anguish that Blair pressed himself closer, his lips touching the cold skin of Jim's
cheek.
    "it's okay, man. you're not alone. don't be afraid." He closed his eyes for a minute, wishing for tears to give the
man he loved. Pulling back slightly, he continued to stroke the chilled face, his eyes inches from Jim's, their foreheads  touching, staring into them, offering an anchor.
    Staring back, the pale eyes - one filling with red from the head wound - locked onto his. Blair could read the misery, the desperation there.
    "it's okay." he soothed. "it won't hurt. you'll be going to a better place, jim, i'm sure of that. and i'll meet you
there as soon as i can. think about it...your mother will be there, and your grandfather, you loved him so much when you were little, i know he'll be there to meet you..."
    Jim twitched, his lips distorting his face as he tried to talk.
    "it's okay." Blair repeated, pressing another kiss to his cheek. "i'll be here with you and then you'll be there and it will be okay, jim. it has to be okay, because there's nothing i can do to stop it..." a sob choked from him and he couldn't fight them down anymore.
    Miraculously, tears slipped from Jim's eyes as well.
    Kissing them as they fell, Blair let himself sob brokenly. He was trying to be strong, but it was too much.
    "i - i wish - god, i wish you could hold me..." the words were out before he could censor them and he didn't pull away from his friend until Jim made another sound.
    Jim's eyes were almost blank now, no emotion in them at all. Blair could actually see the light fading.
    "please...hang on, jim, just another minute...i need - i need to tell you -"
    A blink, and then, with a sigh, Jim's eyes closed.
    "jim?" still whispering, Blair gave him a little shake.
    "Jim?!" a low sound of despair rose in the tunnel, once that  word.
    The broad strong chest still rose and fell almost imperceptibly, but that faltered as Blair watched. Resting one
hand on it, he rested the other on the cold cheek and closed his eyes tightly, feeling the pain seep out of his eyes in
liquid form.
    He felt it coming. The little hitches became big ones, the time between breaths grew longer and longer...until,
finally, it lasted forever.
    Moving himself with tremendous effort, the pain so harsh he prayed to survive it just long enough to do what he had to, Blair let Jim's head fall gently to the rock. Lying beside him, his weight on his broken leg, he threw the good leg and one arm over Jim's still body, tucking his face into the nook between his neck and shoulder, where some small warmth still lingered.
    His free arm went beneath the lifeless form, and the other hand insinuated itself beneath the collar of Jim's coat,
his fingers stroking the skin there with tiny, disjointed movements.
    The flashlight beam was still wavering on.
    Snuggled as close to his dead friend as he could be, Blair Sandburg closed his eyes for what he knew would be the last time.
    He was thankful for that.

-- end --

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