Dirty Little Secret #6

"Oh, man. Jim. C'mon, man, let go."

Tugging at the arms wrapped like steel bands around his chest, Blair grunted and wiggled actively. "Jim, man, I wanna get up."

The voice that spoke behind his ear was bleary with sleep. "I thought we already did that tonight."

"Ha-ha, very funny. I need to work on that inscription we found."

"'K, Chief." reluctantly releasing him, Jim dropped a kiss on the back of Blair's neck, just a brush of lips. For some reason it made the younger man shiver. And then he climbed out of bed, hearing Jim roll over and shift without looking behind him, padding naked down the stairs to the bathroom.

It was just past twelve. Plenty of time to get some work done. The rubbing he'd taken in the buried building was lying in the middle of the kitchen table, beside his laptop.

He'd been working for about five hours straight when he heard Jim wake, his feet hitting the floor hard as he lurched from the bed.

{Probably just noticed I was actually gone.} Blair shook his head and pulled off his glasses with one hand, rubbing the bridge of his nose with the other.

The changes in their relationship...well, he couldn't really call them changes, now, could he? It had been going on for - what? - seven months or so now. He leaned his head on his hands as Jim came down and closed his eyes, thinking as he listened to his roommate head for the bathroom.

{That first time was such a shock - so horrible. I didn't think I'd ever be able to really forgive him.}

Jim left the bathroom, went for the coffeepot, but didn't say anything. Blair knew the other man was watching him, concerned, but he also knew that Jim wouldn't push.

{I was starting to hate him...and then it was just gone. How weird is that?}

Opening his eyes, he leaned back in the chair and grinned at is best friend, who was leaning against the counter, sipping thoughtfully. He'd pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms and Blair knew he'd noted the fact that his partner was fully dressed. he was up for the day.

"How weird is that, man?" gesturing expansively, he expected Jim to blow it off.

"If you're this awake at five am, I obviously didn't do it right last night, Sandburg." stated dryly, but with a flash of concern in the older man's sky blue eyes.

"You did it just fine, man, and you know it." scolding mildly, Blair grew suddenly serious. "Jim, man. You remember what I told you, that time after the Michelle thing?"

Looking wary now, Jim sipped and nodded. "Well, you know that's over."

"I kinda that figured from the way you were reacting to our new partner" sneering the word, Jim didn't look reassured.

"Like you weren't." a snort before he continued. "It's like, as soon as I got that back, this -" his hands delineated the space between them, " - it wasn't so bad."

Snorting into his coffee, Jim gave him a glare. "Thanks."

"You know what I mean, man. It's like, if this is what we have to do, then it's what we have to do. I can live with it. Hell, I can even sortof enjoy it."

"Didn't sound 'sortof' a few hours ago, Chief." bantering, Jim was grinning now.

{He was willing to kill himself rather than hurt me again. He's what's important to me. It just took a while to sink in.}

"Maybe this is the way it's supposed to be." remaining stubbornly serious, Blair leaned forward on his elbows, both hands clasping his glasses near his chest. "I just want you to know, man. It's, like, it's okay now."

Rinsing his cup and setting it in the sink, Jim leaned over it with his back to Blair for just a minute.

Then he straightened and walked over to Blair. Standing behind him, he rested one large palm on the top of the younger man's curly head for a minute. Their eyes met and held. Grinning widely, Jim leaned and kissed the top of his head lightly.

"I'm going back to bed. See if you can make sense of that mess, hey, Einstein?"

"Do my best, man."

Slipping his glasses back into place, Blair turned his attention back to the work at hand. He was really turned on by a challenge and this definitely was one.

Starting an internet search, waiting for the results to load, he let his thoughts wander, fingers playing idly with the sheet of notebook paper he'd done the rubbing on...in dust.

"Jim? Jim, man, whatcha doin'?"

"What's it feel like, Chief?" speaking from his position between Blair's legs, his partner raised his head, looking curious.

"Feels like a halfway decent blowjob...Jim?" Pulling up to his elbows from his prone position, the younger man shook sweaty hair back from his face and stared down nervously.

"Well, I could probably use some practice, as I've never done this before."

"Jim..."

"You keep saying my name, Sandburg. Is there a problem?"

Blair stared a minute longer. It was Jim, his Jim, wryly amused, looking up at him with that slightly mocking expression, his fingertips tracing tiny circles on the insides of Blair's upper thighs....

"Why are you doing that?"

"I told you at dinner. Weren't you listening, Chief?"

They'd gone out this time. Just a quick thing, but almost like a date, even though Blair insisted on calling it an appointment. Nice Italian food, the customary bottle of wine, one-third for Jim and two-thirds for his not-quite-comfortable Guide. With this new case hovering over them they'd both agreed to just go ahead and do it, get it out of the way before it became a problem. The timing was right, they were both hungry for each other but not close to out-of-control.

"I always listen, Jim." a gentle rebuke.

"Then why don't you ever mind?" a flash of Jim-grin.

"I'm just not sure where you're going with this."

Sighing and moving to his knees, hands planted on either side of Blair's head, Jim studied him.

"I want this to be good for you. We're together, we're going to be doing this...I guess I thought, well, why shouldn't we do it right?"

A few seconds of careful thought, Blair looking inward, and then a quirk of his lips that might have been a grin.

"Right?" Jim nudged his balls gently with a knee.

"Well, yeah. Okay." hesitantly Blair rested his hands on Jim's shoulders as the older man leaned closer. They'd never done much in the way of foreplay before, and kissing was a form of affection significantly lacking from their previous interactions.

At least, kissing like this....Blair groaned and sighed and opened his mouth to Jim, letting his Sentinel fill his senses with his Guide; taste, touch, scent, sound. The only one he was missing was sight, because they both closed their eyes as the kiss went deeper and became something more.

A bonding?

Pushing his hair behind his ears again, Blair reviewed the memory, pulling back from it emotionally, trying not to feel the way it affected his body.

Jim had practiced that blwojob technique and proved himself a quick learner. Blair had been forced to bite the pillow to muffle his scream, and had been shocked when Jim brought him off again later, during intercourse. Coming twice in an hour was something he thought lost a few years back.

He'd been doubly shocked when Jim, holding him tightly and nuzzling at his neck drowsily, had whispered "Let's try it between times, Chief. Let you do me again."

He'd woken right back up at that, but Jim had sighed with contentment, kissed his neck one more time, and lapsed into sleep before Blair found the words to say.

{And what would I have said? 'No, Jim, that would be too much like becoming a couple. I still want to find some nice girl -- not too nice -- and take her backpacking across the Sudan for our honeymoon.'}

He snorted loudly and swigged cold coffee without a grimace.

"That rules Cassie out." he grinned. Sure, she was cute, but recently her real usefulness had been in distracting everyone else at the station from him and Jim.

Simon and Joel had finally begun to let up on the detective, stopped eyeing Blair curiously when he entered a room. He hadn't caught Simon's eyes lingering on his arms when he pushed the sleeves up in over a month. Maybe they were beginning to understand.

Working methodically, Blair enjoyed the mental puzzle before him and decided to let his subconscious work on the relationship side of his life for a while.

When Jim came back down at seven, he'd made little progress on the search, despite hours of work, but his emotional state was well-balanced. Calm and accepting, he found that he could face even this new development cheerfully. And it really didn't matter why. Because he and Jim had a special connection. They Sentinel and Guide, Protector and Shaman, and if this was the way they were to bond, then it was.

{I just wish Incahca had warned me.} he thought ruefully as Jim poured him coffee and sat near him, not quite awake, but content in his presence. {Well, he probably would have if he'd lived.} he decided not to bring that up, knowing how that death still hurt his friend.

"Toodles." Jim chirped at the retreating figure. Blair waved,left hand and then right, highly amused. "Good-bye." Jim finished with finality.

When the elevator doors closed, Blair crossed his arms over his chest and raised his eyebrows at his chip-crunching partner.

"I think we should be - just be friends." he parroted.

"Right." munching another chip, Jim nodded at him.

"Right." Blair agreed. Then Jim shrugged and spread his arms slightly, leaning toward him. Anticipating the move, Blair did the same and they bumped chests lightly, as close as they could come to an embrace in the station.

"You want some of this, man?" Jim teased. Blair shook his head at the unexpected silliness and they turned together and walked down the hall.

"So, who was Simon warning with that whole 'fraternization' bit?" Blair asked as they climbed into the truck.

"Not us, Chief, he knows better."

"I think he's covering for us."

"Unless he wants you for himself."

"Oh, man! Don't put images like that into my head!" with a groan Blair punched Jim in the shoulder as they pulled out of the police garage.

Then Jim looked over at him, all teasing gone from his eyes, suddenly serious again.

"You knew I'd get there in time."

"Of course, Jim. I was scared, sure. But I knew you'd come."

The rest of the drive home was completed in silence. Blair fixed a simple dinner of sandwiches and beer, and then set himself to finishing the lecture he'd been working on when this all started. The end of the evening found them in much the same position they'd been in then.

Feeling a sense of deja'vu, Blair glanced up at the TV screen and saw that the sportscast was on.

They spent a lot of time like this, he realized. Just hanging out, doing their own thing, but happier doing it with the other one there.

{A life spent like this wouldn't be so bad.}

Jim clicked off the idiot box and stood, stretching, Blair watching surreptitiously.

"You going to be up long?" he looked down at the seated man.

"I've got to have this done by tomorrow, man." an apologetic shrug.

A nod, and Jim was off to bed.

Blair scribbled his notes and let his mind wander.

When he finished a couple of hours later, he wasn't surprised when his feet led him to the bottom of the stairs. Going up them slowly, he didn't really try to be quiet. Jim had told him that he kept 'tuned in' to Blair all the time and the younger man's normal noises didn't disturb him anymore.

Stripping to his boxers, Blair tugged down the sheet on the other side of the bed and crawled in.

"Sandburg, what are you doing?" Rolling over and propping up on an elbow, Jim raised an eyebrow at him. "Taking you up on your offer, Jim."

A sort of disbelief greeted that statement.

Blair reached out, his body matching Jim's position, and he lightly stroked the smooth, broad chest, allowing himself to enjoy the hardness of the muscle beneath the warm skin.

"Let's just say...I want some of this." he breathed. Then, closing his eyes, he shifted closer, waiting for Jim to take him in his arms and pull him close. He wasn't disappointed.

Warm lips covered his own and an agile tongue probed gently between them. They swapped spit for a while, until Blair pulled away to catch his breath and opened his eyes to find Jim watching him.

"What?" a little unsure, this was still so very strange.

"I'm glad you're here." said casually, the words carried more weight than one might expect.

"I'm glad to be here, Jim."

{For once.} the thought echoed in the air between them.

"So, you going to show me how it's done, Darwin?"

"Yeah, man. I think I will."

There were no more words for a long time. They kissed, easing into it, becoming more comfortable with this new sensation. The desire had been there before, but not the need for tenderness, the urge to bond. Finding himself overwhelmed, Blair backed off once or twice and each time Jim released him, let him pull away and take a few deep breaths before returning to their play. And play it was, touching, tasting and teasing each other as they never had before.

Startled by Jim's attention to detail, quickly losing his control, Blair became more aggressive. He bit his way down Jim's chest, licking the marks to soothe them, and Jim moaned quietly and pulled him up for another soul-drugging kiss, sucking in his tongue before releasing his lips.

"Do me." the words were whispered hotly against Blair's face, Jim's cheek pressed to his, Jim's big hands cradling his head.

"Is that what you want, man?" panting, Blair was hard-pressed to think at all.

"Do me." Jim hissed, turning to his side and pulling up his legs in a smooth motion.

"Yeah, man." fumbling in the nightable, Blair found what he was looking for - lubricant and condoms. Getting the lid off, he stroked Jim's back and sank a finger deep into his taut body.

"God, Jim. Man, you're so tight...you sure you want to do this?"

"I want to, Blair." Jim could go days without using his first name, and it's presence now meant a lot to the younger man. Told him a lot about how the older man was feeling. Even when he'd fallen down that hole Jim had used his last name.

"Just checkin'." as gently as he could he prepared his friend, using one hand to stroke and pet and calm and the other to stretch and open him.

When he thought Jim was ready he rolled the condom on and smeared his cock thickly with the lube, then moved closer to his partner.

"You ready, Jim?" with one hand on his hip and the other grasping a wide shoulder, he leaned to nuzzle at the short hairs that tickled his nose. Jim's scent was strong here, at the back of his neck.

"Do it, Chief."

"Man, you asked for it."

Carefully he pushed, the hand on Jim's hip steadying him while his other guided his cock. His head fell to Jim's back, forehead resting between the top of his shoulderblades.

It took more pressure than he'd expected, but Jim only grunted and reached a hand back to tug at Blair's hip and urge him on.

Blair pushed and waited. After a minute or two Jim tugged at him and he would push again. In small increments his cock slid into Jim's body, until he was completely encased in his friend's ass...and it felt good.

Panting, he mouthed at Jim's back, eyes closed, tasting the sweat there blindly.

"When you're ready, Jim." he panted between open-mouth presses.

His cock was swelling inside Jim's body and Blair worried that he wouldn't last long enough to make it good for his friend too. But he wasn't going to push, wasn't going to go before Jim was ready.

At last a harsh whisper came from the man in front of him. "Get on with it, Sandburg."

"Romance is dead, huh, man?" sparing a second for a grin, Blair moved, pulling halfway out and pushing back in again slowly and the grin faded as the sensations caught him.

"Oh, god, Jim...this feels incredible, man...I can't believe you're letting me do this."

"Believe it, Chief." on the third stroke Jim began to move with him, just a little, but it turned the heat up in Blair's body unbelievably. Jim groaned softly and repeated his words earnestly. "Believe it."

"I do, Jim, oh, man, I do..." panting, Blair increased the rhythm. Not fast, not pulling all the way out, just that half-length in-and-out, and it was enough to set his blood afire.

Hearing Jim groan and feeling the big body move with him, he recovered enough presence of mind to reach around and grasp Jim's cock, which was gratifyingly hard, leaking at the tip, and he closed his hand tightly around it.

"Chief!" the grip brought a shout from Jim, who dropped a hand to cover his, closing around it and showing Blair how he liked to be touched, how to stroke him.

The concentration involved drew Blair back from the edge of orgasm, giving him the ability to pay attention to this shining moment, to open his eyes and see it in the light from the skylight.

Jim's back curved before him. Jim's head tilted back, mouth open wide, eyes squeezed shut in that mixture of agony and ecstasy Blair himself knew so well.

His own cock sliding into and out of Jim's firmly muscled ass like it was the most natural thing in the world.

The sight of it was too much. Blair snapped his eyes shut again, but it was too late.

"Oh, shit. Oh, shit, Jim, I'm gonna come. Can't wait, man, I'm gonna..."

Jim's free hand released its grip on the sheets and dropped beneath their stroking hands to roll and squeeze his own balls and then he tensed around Blair and shook, hips thrusting rapidly, suddenly.

The only sound he made was a long, low moan as Blair felt the cock in his hand stiffen and then pulse. Jim's ass closed around his cock like a vice and he shouted, shocked.

"JIM!" he'd forgotten what that felt like, and he came right after his friend, pumping himself into Jim's body with sudden abandon as he sought to prolong that feeling.

Some time later he moved, and his cock slipped free. Jim sighed, and turned back over. Blair grabbed the cloth he'd left on the nightable and cleaned them both quickly, the cool damp making him shiver.

Then Jim gathered him close, turning him over and spooning around him, and Blair allowed himself to be held for a long time before speaking.

"So, does this mean we're, like, a couple or something? If we do this when we don't have to?"

"I'm not ready for that, Sandburg."

"Good, man, 'cause neither am I." with a relieved sigh, he snuggled closer. He'd never been much for being held before, usually preferring to do the holding, but it didn't seem unmanly when Jim was the one holding him. Probably because Jim always seemed larger than life to him anyhow.

"We're the same as we always were, Chief. A little closer now, but in a good way. Not destructive."

"Right." Blair agreed, closing his eyes.

"Right." another small shift and he felt Jim's nose, planted deep in his curls at the back of his neck.

"Hey, Jim."

"What, Chief?" a long-suffering sigh accompanied the words.

"Maybe we can get Cassie to play with both of us."

"Go to sleep, Sandburg." the older man growled in classic Ellison fashion and the younger grinned into the dark.

It wasn't what he wanted. But it was a damn sight better than the alternative.

And maybe he did want it now...just a little bit.

End

saraid@wf.net