PURCHASE, NY--Hot on the heels of last week's FDA approval, on Monday 
 PepsiCo subsidiary Taco Bell launched its controversial "morning 
 after" burrito, a zesty, Mexican-style entree that prevents unwanted 
 pregnancies if ingested within 36 hours following intercourse. 

 Developed by a team of top Taco Bell gynecologists, the $1.99 
 "ContraceptiMelt" burrito creates an inhospitable environment within 
 the womb, causing fertilized ovum tissue to be flushed from the body. 

 Also available are ContraceptiMelt Supremes, featuring sour cream 
 and extra cheese. 

 Taco Bell officials are excited about the offering. "In the past, 
 before Roe v. Wade, young women literally had to 'make a run for 
 the border' to terminate an unwanted pregnancy," Taco Bell public 
 relations director Grant Lesko said. "But now, women can make that 
 same run for the border at over 7,300 convenient locations right 
 in their own hometowns." 

 Possible side effects of the new birth-control snack item include
 weight gain, stomach upset and gas, the same as with all other 
 Taco Bell products. 

 "The new ContraceptiMelt is a safe, effective alternative to 
 traditional forms of birth control that must be administered before 
 intercourse," Lesko said. "Plus, it's delicious." 

 Customers who wish to purchase a ContraceptiMelt will be required 
 to meet briefly for consultation with a registered Taco Bell 
 counselor/cashier. The counselor will ring up the customer's order 
 and collect money for it, then provide change, before being allowed 
 to administer the ContraceptiMelt. 

 Additionally, a five- to ten-minute waiting period may be necessary 
 during high-volume "busy periods" in the restaurant, depending on 
 the length of the line. 

 "Late afternoon, like 3 p.m., is usually a good time to come in," 
 said Gerry Frankel, an Arlington, VA, Taco Bell counselor/cashier. 

 While the new burrito is legal and available in all 50 states, 
 parental-consent laws in 37 states require minors who wish to 
 purchase the ContraceptiMelt to obtain permission from a parent 
 or legal guardian--unless they order a side of Cinnamon Crisps 
 and a large beverage. 

 Taco Bell vice-president of product research and development 
 Marvin Sekuler expects the new product to be tremendously successful. 

 "All of our test marketing and demographic research indicates 
 that among 14- to 22-year-old females, there is great demand for 
 a quick, relatively painless termination of unwanted pregnancy 
 via spontaneously induced rejection of fertilized, pre-fetal 
 tissue from the uterine canal," Sekuler said. "Plus, 14- to 
 22-year-olds love delicious, Mexican-style fast-food products. 
 We're thrilled that our newest menu item can meet both these 
 important needs in a lip-smacking, tasty way." 

 While he hopes that many young women will purchase the new burrito, 
 Sekuler stressed that the decision to terminate a pregnancy is an 
 individual one. 

  Above: Nineteen-year-old Alicia Vargas of Yuma, AZ, avoids 
  getting pregnant with a delicious Taco Bell ContraceptiMelt. 

 "We are in no way advocating any particular view on this most sensitive 
 of issues," he said. "We simply want to offer this option. And, of 
 course, we fully respect our customers who decide to carry their 
 babies to term. In fact, I'd like to point out that Taco Bell offers 
 a wide variety of non-contraceptive menu items that can provide the 
 crucial nutrients--such as mild sauce, shredded cheddar and beef--that 
 a growing fetus needs to develop properly." 

 Sekuler noted that every pregnacy terminated by the Taco Bell 
 ContraceptiMelt comes with a special guarantee. 

 "If any one of our customers becomes pregnant after consuming our new 
 burrito, the Taco Bell Corporation will, guaranteed, hire that person 
 to work for us at $6.25 per hour," he said. "Taco Bell's competitive, 
 above-minimum-wage salaries; flexible schedules; and fun, team-oriented 
 atmosphere make it the ideal place for a young, single mother, enabling 
 her to provide for herself and her children with uninsured subsistence 
 living." 

 Pending FDA approval, Taco Bell plans to follow up the ContraceptiMelt 
 with the RU-486 MexiCarriage Deluxe. Already legal in France, the 
 MexiCarriage Deluxe costs $1.59 if purchased during the first MexiMester, 
 $1.79 during the second and $1.99 during the third.