A whole page dedicated to the biggest jerk in professional sports...

The Ringmaster of the Media Circus

By Skip Hollandworth

"He told me that if I didn't change my testimony, he would put everybody against me and everybody would hate me. He said that he'd make a touchdown and everyone would love him again." There was a long silence. Irvin dropped his head...

Click here to read the WHOLE story

 

I can't wait 'till $&!@$ halftime!

...I gotta go NOW!!!

 

The untold story of:

Irvin has another bad day on the field

...can you say "withdrawal?"

 

 

...Cocaine boy has a relapse, fumbles, and helps his team lose to the Giants in '97

Michael
Scissorhands

Seems like Michael Irvin's in trouble again. On July 29th at training camp in Wichita Falls, Texas, Michael Irvin sliced a 2" cut in guard Everett McIver's neck which required 18 stitches. Irvin and McIver apparently got into an argument over which of the two would get their hair cut first. Irvin had a pair of barber's scissors in his hands and during the tussle that ensued sliced McIver's neck. The Dallas Morning News then stated that in 2 meetings with McIver's agent,

 

Stephen Hayes, Jerry Jones brokered a $700,000 settlement in which Irvin paid McIver not to bring criminal charges, which would violate Irvin's parole for his '96 felony conviction of cocaine possession. After the incident McIver was immediately taken to his home in Dallas with no comment to reporters and Cowboy players were instructed not to speak about the incident to anyone. Officials at Midwestern State University (where the Cowboys hold their training camp) tried to investigate the incident but were told to back off by the Cowboys who stated that "this was their problem and they would deal with it." Several weeks after the incident the Cowboys made the announcement that Irvin was holding the scissors that accidentally cut McIver. However, it was an act of horseplay and that there was no argument or fight and the cut was a result of an accident, not from malicious intent on Irvin's part. That $700,000 lie just saved Irvin up to 20 years in prison - again. The Cowboys must really think they need Irvin to put up with all his crap.

 

 

Smoke Some Crack

(sung to the tune of "Deck The Halls")
from Mad Magazine...

Smoke some crack with Michael Irvin
Fa la la la la - la la la la
From the law he's runnin', swervin'
Fa la la la la - la la la la
Fancy moves have nev-er failed him
Fa la la la la - la la la la
Oops! The Dal-las cops just nailed him
Fa la la la la - la la la la

See the case the DA's trying
Fa la la la la - la la la la
Hear the bimbo testi-fying
Fa la la la la - la la la la
In the court-room Irv-in's sweat-ing
Fa la la la la - la la la la
Twen-ty years he could be get-ting
Fa la la la la - la la la la

See his lawyer cop a plea now
Fa la la la la - la la la la
Michael Irv-in's go-ing free now
Fa la la la la - la la la la
Push-ers face in-car-cer-ation
Fa la la la la - la la la la
All-Pro Cowboys get pro-ba-tion
Fa la la la la - ha ha ha ha

Irvin...

 

...smokin' !!!

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